Surviving Schizo type disorders of the mind's Journal (original) (raw)

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

So sorry I am sorry I am not posting here very often. I mean, here it is almost June and I haven't posted in months.

Friday I go into the hospital for an operation. I have been dealing with extreme knee pain from torn miniscus, and it is going to be take out Friday morning.

Dealing the medication changes have been something hard to deal with too.

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008

12:50 pm
[teddi]

Hello everyone :)

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (depressive type) earlier this year, after a major breakdown. Since then, I've been juggling medication to find a combination that works for me. I also have a wonderful therapist.

While researching this disorder, I noticed that not much existed about it. I've read the rules here, and I don't know if this will count as advertising another community, but I thought I'd give it a try: I've been keeping a public blog here to help inform people about this illness and connect with others who suffer from it. It does contain some things that may be triggering for certain people, so read with caution.

Anyway, I'm glad to be part of this group!
Happy holidays to everyone xx
- K

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

2:55 pm
[scene_kid_999]

i feel like dying

i went to do an assesment for this outpatient thing after comming out of the hospital for the third time and this lady had this paper in her hand that says.. actually hold on. i had like this weird self actualization of this so called "reality" or "life" that day. the paper said in small scratchy writing at the end in the corner :

attempted suicide 3x
hears voices
depressed
psychotic symptoms
possibly bipolar

fuck thats just messed up

Current Mood: frustrated

Tuesday, November 25th, 2008

8:23 pm
[scene_kid_999]

eh. i forgot to ask a question. does anyone know of some alternative to ablilify that is not seroquel or somethin?

8:14 pm
[scene_kid_999]

hello............

um... hi.

im raquel and i just uhm...... yea

im shy. yea. well whatever. well, why im writing here? because 4 months ago i went crazy and since then have been many times in a psychiatric hospital -sigh- and supposibly first my diagnosis was major depression and psychosis but it changed to bipolar but now they are telling me its schizoaffective. so im confused. but i do hear voices, i hear little kids laughing and singing and saying my name and talking to eachother and i also see things like people and sometimes i get stuck in a small dark room with no windows or doors and stuff. and im just rambling. im sorry.

oh god i hope you guys dont hate me please

Thursday, November 6th, 2008

5:12 pm
[bipobitch]

Intentional Communities for the Mad? This is my first thread and a bit of a long shot...but does anyone here know of/belong to an intentional community that welcomes mad people and doesn't require outside income (even if it's not specifically focused on them)? Or even ones that wouldn't require I stop seeing a pdoc and start taking St. John's Wort instead? I've had no luck sorting through the Intentional Communities directory, as I'm afraid to be up front with the communities that are most awesome to me. (X-posted for moar responses)

Friday, October 3rd, 2008

10:07 pm
[aint2nuts]

Off Geodon For the first time in about 5 years I am off geodon. I don't know how I feel about that. It might mean that I can get my short term memory back. It might mean that I get my anger mood swings back. It might mean nothing. I have no idea. I do know that I am taking another anti-psychotic called perphenazine. So far it is working. I lost my music that I hear all the time, but now I have a SONG running through my head all the time. Usuually the same one and I am singing it or humming it constantly. Drives my kids batty. Don't know which I prefer.

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

3:18 am
[icia_starlight]

Does anyone else here have sleeping problems?

Current Mood: awake

Friday, July 25th, 2008

5:15 pm
[icia_starlight]

I'm having strong negative symptoms right now. It's lasted now for a week and it's horrible. I wish there was some way to get rid of them. At least on the bright side I don't hear voices. How do you people deal with the flat affect?

Current Mood: blank

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008

12:30 am
[aint2nuts]

Don't mind me I am just wandering through. Two new members today. I need to advertise the community, but between SLEEPING and KIDS I haven't had the time.

My doctors put me on a new medication that not only works, it also curbs my appetite so I don't want to eat anymore. Facinating.

So, hello new members, post away.

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

3:36 pm
[aint2nuts]

FACES And People back I see faces in the wall. They don't do anything, they just stare. And watch. Have you ever seen the commercials for Terminex (google it) THOSE are my faces. They don't talk.

However I saw someone in my house standing in the door of my room as I was about to go to sleep. They said "Don't worry, Don't worry" and then disappeared. I searched my house, my kids were asleep, and the house was completely locked up. I was alone, no one was hiding. I am seeing people again and they are talking.

Stress is probably the reason they are back. I have no one to tell about this, because I just can't share this with anyone but my pdoc and my therapist.

I saw a nurse who got the doctor to prescribePerphenazine or Trilafon. It isn't working, at all. The faces are still there, and I have the dose recommended for this.

Sometimes I get so tired of dealing with all of this, I have to think of my kids, they don't need to grow up without a mother.

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

11:10 am
[aint2nuts]

Welcome Welcome to schizosurvival

Originally I was diagnosed with bipolar. I created bipolarsurvival some years ago to help others and myself deal with the problems relating to being Bipolar.

As the community grew (now there are over 1100 people in the group) so did my diagnosis. Two years ago my diagnosis was changed to Schizoaffective with bipolar tendencies. "Oh great" I thought, "just what I need ... another diagnosis."

Several weeks ago I had something else added to my diagnosis. Borderline Personality Disorder. I am still struggling with that diagnosis. Actually with all of the diagnosis that have been offered up to me. Why couldn't it be something simpler, like a Tumor or Brain cancer?

Alas, it is not to be.

So join me in an adventure of a lifetime. Learning to deal with the faces, people, voices, music, sounds and smells of being schizo.

You can contact me at Aint2nuts@aol.com if there is ever a problem with the community.

Angela