My Little Nest (original) (raw)

So, I have a boyfriend, which I bet most of you didn't know. In fact, tomorrow would be our 3 month anniversary. I don't really count him as a boyfriend, want to know why? BECAUSE IN THREE MONTHS HE HAS KISSED ME ONCE. Kissed, not snogged, not full on make out, sweet little after-date kiss.

Now this is enough to make me tetchy in the first place, since I went through this phase of but-I-like-GIRLS-and-your-not-a-girl bit, and finally said okay, cause he's a cool bloke, and one of my best friend's cousin. (Most of my real-life friends are boys) So, no big deal, i go back to normal. Friends + boyfriend and i are out at lunch, and waitress has cute arse. I observe, he gets pissy.

Okay, no big deal, though I bitched to my internet wifey about it when walking to the Covenstead for dinner. Its not that he's gay, or finds me unattractive, since he had a raging hard-on when we went to the circuit part, and he picked me up, and unless it was the Degas, he finds me somewhat attractive.

I LET HIM TAKE ME TO AN OPERA AUDITIOn, which if any of you know how crazy I am NOT about my voice, says a lot, but he has not made move one. So he talks to his cousin about us and cousin/my best buddy says this.

Bud: It's Calypso, if you want to talk to her about your relationship, your going to have to stick The Godfather or Boondock Saints on to get her to talk about that shit with you. Or when she's watching the game.

Boyfriend: But I want it to be meaningful

Bud: It's Calypso, she'll squirm and get the fuck out of the room. You can't do that with her, you girl.

So if finding out about this exchange wasn't enough, he starts harping on my internet friends. Mostly Wifey and Evil Twin for 'letting them steal our time'. IT IS NOT STEALING OUR TIME TO TAKE A MINUTE TO REPLY TO A TEXT MESSAGE CAN'T TALK OR BUSY. There's no reason for him to be fucking jealous, as I'm sure if wifey or twin were in the same area and wanted a relationship, they would fucking MAKE A MOVE not act like whingy assholes for three months. Also, I don't want to know how he bloody knows which ringtone is Wifey's, as Twin texts me all the bloody time and even my family knows that one, but SERIOUSLY.

And I know he has a sex drive, I'm friends with his cousin, I've seen his porn stash from before we were dating, so WTF, people? Also, my writing meaning, 2,000 word Mina/Rei pr0n does not invalidate our mockery of a relationship.

In closing

GRRRRRRRR