shadymoon479 (original) (raw)
I've been invited to a steak dinner at moms early this afternoon... lets see how well dinner goes... sigh... at least I'm going to get some food.
I don't know what is going on anymore.
May 19th, 2013
I just got back home from helping my mom with a few things since she still can't get around that well. She is still recovering from her surgery. Well my mom decided that it would be a great time again to start talking about dad and how much she hates him.
Today is not the day apparently since I had just about had enough and I went crazy and started to tell her how I felt and how this was putting all the stress on me. She goes fucking crazy and goes on to how I wasn't the one that got divorced and apparently I'm not allowed to feel anything or to feel hurt. So I completely shut the fuck down and let her talk about all that she wanted. I'm very very very hurt right now, to the point of just deciding to repress everything, cause I'm not fucking allowed to show how I feel ever again. She said that I was holding a rage in me that would seriously hurt someone some day and that I needed to go see a psychologist.
I just don't fucking get it anymore. I just don't. I've tried to show how I feel and how much this is making me hurt but apparently she started yelling, "It is all about you isn't it?" and a bunch of bullshit..
I'm just tired..
April 28th, 2013
I'm so tired.
April 26th, 2013
Glad it is over with.
April 24th, 2013
I just got back from my mom's house. She just got out of foot surgery this morning. She is doing alright, her sister is going to be staying with her for a week. Mom has to be in recovery for at least six weeks and during also at this time she also has to learn how to walk all over again. I hope that goes well for her.
April 23rd, 2013
I'm going to have a movie night with my b/f tonight. I think we are going to watch the movie ATM. I watched the trailer for it earlier today and it seems like it might be a pretty good movie. I hope it will be, and if it isn't a good one, we enjoy making fun and cracking jokes at the movie.
April 22nd, 2013
So much for trying to make myself feel better. I got a phone call...
It was a nasty phone call from my dad's mom, telling me that my dad left my mom, because he didn't feel like I cared about him anymore.
What in the living fuck does that have to do with him leaving my mom??? I swear everyone in my family just wants to stir up shit around me and cause more stress and pain on my part.
I'm seriously getting to the end of my rope with this bullshit.
April 21st, 2013
I feel sad and depressed tonight again.
Can anyone out there cheer me up?
And I will say, "What? Say that again?"
April 20th, 2013
I finally managed to get finished with my statistics homework. I'm happy now. I can have my day off then all to myself and I won't have to worry about doing any homework or anything else. I can sleep in and work more on cleaning my house.
I was so busy today at work. I had to deliver three pieces of home decor stuff out to various people, cause our guys were busy and they couldn't do it. I also had to clean out our knick knack trailer in the morning. I'm surprised no one asked me to reprice the concrete statues and fountains outside, since it rained really hard the other day. I'm sure I will have to do it when I go back to work on Monday though.
I'm gonna take it easy tonight. I might play a little Skyrim and watch some more movies.
April 19th, 2013
I just finished watching a few movies and working more on some statistics homework. I'm a bit tired now. I can't wait for Sunday and when I'm off work and can sleep in for a little bit longer. I haven't been sleeping well at night. I think my depression has been keeping me awake at night. I use to be asleep by 11pm or by 12 and now it takes me at least 3 in the morning now to get to sleep and I wake up at 7am to start getting ready for work.