A New Year and a New Beginning (original) (raw)

04:56 pm - A New Year and a New Beginning
Last year wasn't a complete horror or anything, but it could've been so much more than what it was. I'm not sad for 2007 to be ending. That's a rare feeling. I'm usually pretty nostalgic at the end of the year, but I'm ready for a clean slate more than I've ever been before. I don't regret the overall ending of this year, though. If it weren't for the way things had gone, I wouldn't be in the position I am now. I have a lot more focus and clarity than I've had in awhile as far as where I want to be and how to get there. If anything, I'm grateful for that, but I do wish it hadn't had such a high cost. Ah, well. It's all in the past now. So! Time to look toward the future!

This year, I'm not sure I'll make resolutions the way most people see them. I do have goals, but a lot of the more specific ones start with "attempt to" or "start to." I'm going to pace myself and take my time to make my life how I want it. I don't intend to remake myself completely in a year or any crap like that.

My overall, general goals:

Start over fresh - I'm cleaning out and redoing my room to make it into a more productive and comfortable space. I've never liked it how it is, and since it seems like I'll be living with my parents for all eternity, I might as well be as comfortable as I can. Part of the rearranging also involves ditching the gigantic desk for the smaller, more easily accessible one and setting up a file server. Going to reformat EVERY system I own and begin again in that regard, too. Of course, I'll back up all my necessary files (artwork, music, WoW files, etc.), but it'll be a fresh install of Windows and everything will be much faster and more efficient, not to mention how much free space I'll have to work with.

Learn more - This mostly covers my creative project ideas. I'm going to get back into programming and try to push myself more artistically. I'd also like to learn Japanese. I have two different learning methods, and I intend to use at least one of them to get somewhere. It'd be great to be able to watch raw anime or get raw manga imports and actually understand them. No horrible dubbed voices or strange translations/alterations.

Focus more on myself - By far the most selfish goal I have, but at the same time, maybe the most important. I mean, really, everyone focuses pretty strongly on themselves. You sort of have to. No one can feel things or react to things FOR you, and anything that's happening at any given time is bound to seem like the most important thing because it's happening TO YOU. I definitely have that going on like anyone else does. But I worry too much about other people, and not so much in the usual way. I don't normally care overly much about what people think of me; only in the normal way any average person does. I DO tend to worry FOR other people, though. I care about how people feel and if they're going with out things and all that. And I can't do it anymore. Not like I have in the past. It always seems to work out that I'm the one who's left without in the end or I just end up burned for my troubles. I can't completely shut down something that's such a huge part of my personality, but I can definitely show more restraint and wariness. I have to. It'll be hard, but it's necessary. I can't end up in positions where I'm suffering because I've done something to help someone else anymore. It's not fair to me, and it's not fair that people think they can take advantage because of it, then end up let down when I have nothing more to give. Better to stop it before it starts.

Be happy - This one might get some odd responses, but it's here for a reason. I'm tired of feeling restless and stuck. If my projects don't suck me up enough that I don't have time to dwell, I need better outlets during downtime. I need to find people who I relate to and enjoy being around, whether online or off. I need to find new things I enjoy doing or maybe go back to older things I hadn't had time for anymore but will now. I need to enjoy myself more.

Be more assertive - I'd already started this one, but it's damn well going to continue. ESPECIALLY AT WORK. I do my job. I go above and beyond. That does not mean I have all the time in the world to do whatever anyone asks. It also doesn't mean I like doing extra work. I don't sit around waiting for someone to give me tasks to do. Also, I have parents. I live with them. I do not work with them. No one at my work should treat me like a child in the first place, let alone like THEIR child. I will do my job and do what I get paid for. Anything else is no one else's business, and they can kiss my ass and back the hell off. To start of my year at work, I will be living in the file room. Anyone who bothers me is going to hear about it. They might not like what will appear to be a sudden change in attitude, but I really couldn't care less. They don't have to like me. They just have to work with me and deal with me, as do I with them. The balance of power and aggression will shift drastically.

I think this covers most of what I want. Not the specifics so much, but the overall attitudes and situations where I want to be. I want this year to be positive and meaningful. I want to feel like I've made progress. I want to be in a better situation, and I will.

I hope everyone else enjoys the coming year and that things are happy and good for everyone!

Welcome, 2008!

And everyone loses The Game. :D
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: Fields of Innocence - Evanescence