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Wednesday, June 21, 2006
11:00PM - yo.
Hey all, my name is Roland, been training in Jeet Kune Do (jun fan) for about a year now.
I haven't had a specific, particular instance that has really led me to "open my eyes", or the like, rather all I have is the continuing accumilation of experiences. Jeet Kune Do, as a philosophy, has alot of tie ins with the Tao, and while I've not studied much into it, I have more recently began reading more of it, in addition to formally studying Buddhism at my university. Lately I've been trying to focus more on training, and less on thinking (that is not to de-emphasize how much I think of it, its hard to describe). Hard to describe is the best way I can explain how I feel, heh, and what martial arts and life in general feels to me as of late.
Found this community through martial_arts, looks interesting thus I join ^.^
Monday, March 28, 2005
10:23PM - Clinic
I had the good fortune to attend a seniors meeting this past weekend for the organization I train in. We had 43 people in attendance and the lowest ranks were nidans. This represented about a third of our membership. Lots of juicy stuff happened including demonstrations and promotions. The meeting also served to fine tune kata and change members of the promotion board and the technical committee.
One of the things I came away with was an overall feeling of joy and love that permiated the whole weekend and all from a verydiverse group of people and I have to wonder why the rest of the world seems to have trouble doing the same.
Anyway, I have been assigned homework and that is to explore the meaning of Shu Ha Ri. As I research this, I thought I'd share my thoughts and findings with all those present in this journal. Until next time, keep training.
Current mood: 
grateful
Thursday, October 7, 2004
3:00PM
Pondering (the state of) this world
I fall into a lament,
Only to be reinvigorated again
When the light of the tumbling clouds
Builds the "vigorous force" inside me.
- Morihei Ueshiba
Monday, October 4, 2004
12:11AM
The more I train
The less profound I feel.
The less words I can describe.
how much I have changed.
Hope your practice is going well.
Just thought id drop a line.
With metta,
-A
Monday, February 16, 2004
12:48AM
Have you ever expressed your opinion regarding your training, even though it scared you, or if you knew it wasnt popular, of it you knew it would cause problems? or been in a situation where you knew that the best thing for you to do was just nod and go, okay... but instead you attack and cut someone down.
Sometimes I find myself getting caught between wanting to seriously be open to everyones thoughts, and the rest of the time they just make me sick.
I am concious of if my words fit or don't. But I am also at a point now where I don't see a need to try and fit my thoughts in little boxes that everyone can deal with. I attack, because I can. Because I can handle being wrong, and I can handle people being mad. Maybe because I like proving to myself I can handle it?
I figure this has to be a common place for someone who begins to feel his or her own oats after a while of training. I take my training so serious, Its the majority of what I do with my time and the focus I want to take my life in. When I see folks taking it as anything less then how I do, it just makes me feel... dirty almost.
I dunno, maybe I am alone in this... maybe I am not. I figure if I know enough to stop and when, its just a choice now between attacking and not. Thats better then not even being aware I am doing it I suppose.
Friday, January 9, 2004
11:46PM - A good class tonight
We had a shodan visit from an Aikikai dojo in Florida tonight. It was really fun to train with him. Even with the stylistic diffrences between aikikai and jiyushinkai we had an excellent practice, we took care of each other, and everyone most likely learned and grew a bit from the practice. Its days like this when people can get together from different backgrounds and drop all pretenses and leave the egos at the door that makes me think there truelly is a lot of good in people. Gods I love this stuff.
I hope everyone had a teriffic new year and may this year bring lots of excellent training for everyone.
Monday, January 5, 2004
5:24PM
first off, happy new year everyone! I am glad to see a healthy community with good posts continuing on. I think its important that we keep in contact with each other and try to learn from our different arts and grow as budoka.
I wanted to start the new year off with another lesson I wanted to share. Reciently I was training with my sensei and he started to talk about two very important things to keep in your practice. The first is about intent, I think the biggest things that make a budo system different then a martial art is in its intent. We worked on knife evasions and sensei was talking about how your cheating each other out of real life experiances if you dont an honest attack. You can't learn anything with out a serious intent. He then talked about how in a single generation a budo or martial system can become a relic that looks nice on the wall, but not be an alive thing that truly holds its nature and spirit. I think both are related, with out a spirit of intent, how could a system be anything more then complicated dancing?
so I suppose my question then to you is how do YOU keep your martial art alive? how do you keep the intensity and spirit of your art from one generation to the next?
I wish you all well in the new year. Hope that you continue to make yourselves, your teachers, and your systems proud.
Saturday, December 20, 2003
10:17AM - Fear, Surprise, Perplexity, Doubt
Greetings to all. :)
It's been a while since anyone posted, and I've been lurking since the community was created. I've been interested and impressed by a lot of what's been written here, but haven't had much to say myself because I haven't actively studied either aikido (Tomiki) or karate (Goju or Ashihara) for a few years now, and so I'm out of the practice and the culture to a fair degree.
However. I nearly got involved in a fight with a drunk yesterday, and it's been bothering me. I found myself surprisingly physically relaxed (although I was certainly aware of the adrenalin flowing) and mostly managed to keep the situation calm. But the emotional violence and conflict bothers me. I believe I can handle the physical aspects, but I've never been good at dealing with the emotions of anger and aggression and hatred that fly about during these kinds of confrontations. I think that they bother me, and lead me into fear and suprise and perplexity and doubt more than anything else.
When I was training, I was always doing so with and against other students. We didn't hate each other, we didn't want to punch each others' lights out, and the emotional assault just wasn't there. I don't know that it often is in a dojo. So, how do people learn to deal with these things? Is it just that the confidence of long training and faith in their ability to deal with the physical aspects gives people enough confidence to ignore those emotions? Is it a mental preparedness or a serenity that I've been been really shown how to access, or mastered? Or what?
How do you all deal with the feelings involved in conflict?
Current mood: 
curious
Saturday, October 18, 2003
8:33AM - Its been a while...
Training has been really great for me over the last almost year now. I have learned so much, and grown so much as a person. Everyone in my family has noticed the changes, in particular I am less defensive, less struggling, more accepting and learning. I train in a system where we are learning how to control our centers and to fight back, but at the same time during training we do so with out fighting back... not trying to resist the change, just to learn from it. There is alot of power in training like that, and even more so in living like that.
I have been trying to bring my training to life in everything I am doing. Blending with people's needs at work, waiting to fit when times are correct to push people slightly, and I suppose eventually throwing a person (emotionally, mentally) on occasion.
I am sure I am not the only one who takes things out of training to their life, another thing I am working on (mind you its hard) is to get over the idea of "us vs. them" I used to be uber defensive about things, everytime someone would step past a line (physically, verbally) I would think of it as an attack. And though sometimes it might be, simply learning to move my feet, change my mind, and not have to attack back on someone who really has no heart in their precusive behaviors.
maybe what I am saying is that I am trying to learn that most of the time people who attack you aren't really attacking. Just trying to stay safe by waving their hands their hands in your face to scare you.
at either rate, I am proud of this community, though its been slow coming there seem to be some really good thoughts on training here. I am glad you all joind me.
with metta,
yama-o-kuzusu
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
12:24PM - Detachment
I received the following excerpt from a friend...it reminds me of what my Sensei refers to as "getting off the line".
DETACHMENT
The most effective form of detachment I have found has been forgiveness. Instead of thinking of it as an eraser to wipe another’s slate clean or a gavel that I pound to pronounce someone “not guilty,” I think of forgiveness as scissors. I use it to cut the strings of resentment that bind me to a problem or a past hurt. By releasing resentment, I set myself free.
When I am consumed with negativity over another person’s behavior, Ihave lost my focus. I don’t have to tolerate what I consider unacceptable, but wallowing in negativity will not change the situation. If there is action to take I am free to take it. Where I am powerless to change the situation, I will turn it over to God (or whatever higher force you believe in). By truly letting go, I detach and forgive.
When my thoughts are full of bitterness, fear, self-pity, and dreams of revenge, there is no room for love or for the quiet voice of God within me. With God’s help I am willing to admit that resentments hold me back, and then I can let them go. A part of me wants to cling to old resentments, but I know that the more I forgive, the better my life works. Every time I try to tighten the noose of resentment around someone’s neck, I am really only choking myself. Today I will practice forgiveness instead.
Current mood: grateful
Saturday, October 11, 2003
8:01AM
I want to go hiking! I want to be included!
Tried to go hiking with Aikido club last night...was told by my Sensei that they were actually afraid I was frail...that pisses me off.
Perhaps I present myself that way...on some unconscious level...I know I have a problem seeing myself as weak at times...but not physically.
I want people to take me seriously! Just because I'm female doesn't mean I don't have a warrior spirit. This is partly why I try so hard...I feel I have to make up for the fact that I am female...It would surprise most people to know I don't even see myself that way! I don't walk aroung thinking to myself..."Oh my...I'd better be carful...I AM female after all...please don't mess up my hair...oh gosh, I broke a fingernail while training...better go home now" Most times I am REMINDED I am female...like it's some fucking handicap...I'm so pissed.
So now that my ego is going off...need to figure out how to practice humility in this situation...Pride goeth before the fall...Really don't wish to prove anyone right by falling by the wayside on the trail...humility is an honest self assessment. So...does the shoe fit or not? NO! I am NOT FRAIL!!!! Guess I'll just act as if no one has ever thought that and show up anyway. Shit!
I'm grateful my Sensei stood up for me. He told them I had a very strong will and that my Aikido was good enough to take what they had to dish out. THAT is what is important to me. The people I admire believe in me...screw the rest!
C (*
Current mood: 
angry
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
10:43PM - How can I prevent my ship from being smashed upon the rocks?
I am happy to report that I have found my center again...don't worry...I'm certain I will lose it soon enough. I had horrible nightmares all last night. One such dream involved being trapped in a house. When I finally got out, I was staring at the front of the house, yet, I still had the Venetian blinds in front of my eyes. It was as though my body had left the house, but my consciousness was still inside!
I interpret houses, within the context of dreams, as being states of consciousness . Apparently I am still in transition...but this dream reminded me that part of me (or perhaps even the real me) can be identified as "the watcher". The part of my consciousness that witnesses reality (or dreams) like a movie.
So...back to center...I practiced my moving meditation this afternoon. This usually involves a 45 minute hike and staying present. Sounds easy, but just try to keep your mind present in the moment for ANY length of time. The mind is like a 3 year old...it gets bored very easily and wont sit still. Or, as the Buddhists put it. The mind is like an Ox, given free reign it likes to roll around in mud puddles!
Upon returning from said hike, I sat in meditation for 15 minutes or so...focused on breathing...stayed present...found center. Now, if I can somehow keep my center during the rest of my day tomorrow...but that is the problem isn't it?
I really like what has been said about us HAVING emotions and thoughts. That these things are like the waves of the ocean and we are not the waves. I totally agree...however...how can I prevent my ship from being smashed upon the rocks? Perhaps this is not possible...maybe I simply need to stop identifying with the ship so heavily...hmmm.
I think I will try a longer meditation in the morning. I usually only take 5 minutes...tomorrow I will try 15...we'll see what happens. C (*
Current mood: 
contemplative
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
11:15PM - How do I keep my center in the face of life?
I took yoga class today from my friend Perry. Prior to class we were having a discussion about the necessity of anger. I got in many such discussions with my last spiritual advisor and we finally agreed to disagree. Anyway, Perry kept quoting the Dali Lama saying that anger was not necessary and that it caused more damage than good. That the only way to address anger was from a place of love....from a place of love? How the hell does one do that? Note to self: this is a good meditation topic. I maintain that anger is useful...it must be because it was given to me along with the rest of the emotions on my pallet. I don't believe that I should pick and choose which emotions I allow myself to experience. Given that of course I maintain balance. That is my ultimate goal. How do I keep my center in the face of life? People, situations, emotions...etc all threaten to pull me off course. Short of moving to a remote mountain top (now I know why monks do this) I don't know how to keep my peace.
In yoga class...during shivasana (corpse pose) probably spelled wrong....Perry came over and applied some pressure points to the back of my neck and shoulders which have been hard as piano wires for weeks due to emotional stress. I actually felt my heart open up and a warm peace flowered where there had only been hard walls before..."wow" I thought...I forgot what this felt like. It's been so long. How did I get off track for so long? I know how...I haven't been as diligent about my meditation practice....not the moving one...the sitting one. Solution begins tonight. C (*
Current mood: peaceful
Friday, September 12, 2003
12:06PM - a conversation about the spirit of gungfu
This is a conversation I had with my kung fu teacher over MSN. I thought I'd share it with you.
Current mood: hopeful
Saturday, September 6, 2003
11:25AM - The true spirit of the martial arts
If you think that "martial art'' means to have opponents and enemies and to be strong and defeat them, you are mistaken. The true spirit of the martial arts is to be one with the universe and have no enemies. The essence of the martial arts is the spirit of loving protection of all beings in the universe.
- Morihei Ueshiba founder of Aikido
I have had many spiritual experiences in life as well as during training. The one element each of these experiences has had in common is the that at the time I was completely in the moment. My mind was entirely absorbed and focused on the here and now. Some people only experience this state of consciousness during extreme life threatening situations such as during a car accident or skydiving. My goal in training my mind body and spirit is to bring all three into alignment within the present moment and be able to maintain such a state for extended periods of time.
My first experience with this within training was during one of my belt tests in Kung Fu. I was so nervous...then all of a sudden, as I was executing one of my forms, time seemed to slow way down. I felt I was moving in slow motion. My mind was completely quiet as I floated through the air. I did a dive roll at the end of the form and as I spun upwards from the floor onto my feet I had the experience as though I was watching my body perform from a part of my mind that was like the eye of the storm.
C (*
Thursday, September 4, 2003
11:35PM
Thank you so much for creating this journal. I am on a similar path and am overjoyed to find others of like mind walking beside me.
I can relate to tearing up at the beauty and elegance expressed in many arts. I have practiced Aikido off and on for a couple of years now...(off time of one year due to unrelated injury)...but I have also practiced Kung Fu, Tai chi and Wushu.
The icon I have uploaded to represent myself is an image of my favorite calligraphy scroll by Morihei Ueshiba the founder of Aikido. Translation: "True Victory is Victory Over Self."
I told someone the other day that I consider myself in training from the moment I awake until I retire at night. They called me a fanatic. I call it "the way".
C (*
Current mood: thankful
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
11:29AM - Introduction
My teen years were spent learning taekwondo, goju jutitsu, suto-ate-ryu jujitsu and judo. They served me well in an abusive home situation, as well as on the street - in 1978 we were still having race riots in the Jr High. I was also an avid practitioner of hatha yoga and often slept in full lotus position. Breath control was a religion with me and I have never experienced anything on drugs (unlike our president I did inhale once or twice) that I haven't been able to both duplicate and exceed (in intensity and variety) by altering my breathing patterns.
My first matial arts related spiritual experience was during a fight with an older boy. I was fourteen and a freshman. He was a senior and a wrestler. ( Read more...Collapse )
Monday, August 25, 2003
3:11PM - something to ponder
I had a talk with my sensei this morning and part of the conversation gave me a different look at the way budo can make a someone a better person. I am an assistant instructor and students are beginning to look at me as a teacher. Sensei said I was no longer responsible for the students when they were just on the mat but that I am responsible for them and have responsabilities to them and the system all the time. People are now starting to hold me to a higher standard and therefore I must hold myself to a higher standard if I am going to continue on this path I have chosen. So at some point it no longer has to do with the physical training you undergo and the training you do with others.
12:01PM - New member
Hi.
I have trained for 3 years now in Yang style tai chi, Xing Yi, and My Jong Law Horn Pai Kung Fu (lost track monk style), and about 2.5 years in ju jitsu. And i spent 2 months studying Shaolin Kung Fu in China. In university I did 2 years of tae kwon do, of the American Kang Duk Kwon style, and a few months of judo back in high school.
As far as spiritual experiences go i have only one... maybe. I don't know what it was. A year or so ago I was doing tai chi, walking the floor doing Flying Diagonals, and during a particularly good technique something weird happened. I was looking at my hand as it traveled out in front of me, and things kind of went technicolour and my hand trailed a blur behind it. Things may have seemed to slow down too, but that may just be the way i remember it. I dunno if it was just a head rush or chi or what, but it was freaky. Whatever happened, seeing it startled me, and it vanished.
Its probably just a head rush, cause i dont spend any time cultivating my chi or meditating. I don't think you are supposed to be able to actually see your chi flow anyway, and i hardly claim to be high enough level to even feel it, but i'd like to think i may have stumbled on it by chance. I'm probably delusional, but these are the things my eyes saw, whether they were real or not. And i have to admit, that was probably the best flying diagonal i have ever done, looking back over my technique and the way my balance was set. One thing i know is that i was NOT concentrating on trying to feel my chi at the time; i was working on the overall feel of the technique and trying to get it to all come together smoothly.
Whatever it was, it had a neat feel to it, and i'd like to do it again. Who knows? The human brain is capable of some pretty messed up delusions, as well as some pretty extraordinary feats. I'm sitting on the fence as to which one it was.
Anyway, I look forward to reading the discussions on this community. They should be interesting.
Current mood: 
sleepy
Sunday, August 24, 2003
4:47PM - Hello
I was pleased to find this community. I have recently started training again after a long break. I previously trained in Shotokan karate for about five years, and now train in Shidokan. I also train at a Shotokan dojo from time to time. I have studied Jujitsu briefly and am thinking about doing more. I train in order to achieve a better harmony between mind and body.
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