siastepstudy - Profile (original) (raw)

Welcome to this online Survivors of Incest Anonymous meeting. Another LJ SIA meeting can be found at transsiameeting.

Survivors of Incest Anonymous is an organization which uses a twelve-step framework to deal with issues arising from abuse. SIA defines "incest" very broadly: anyone who has experienced any kind of sexual abuse as a child can join, basically. For more information on their definition of incest, check out http://www.siawso.org/approach.html.

This is an open meeting, which means that anyone can attend. In order to post and to read many posts, you will have to create a livejournal account, come back to this page, and click the link near the top that says "join this community."

In order to speak in this meeting, you will have to join it and then go to the page to "update your journal" and type in whatever you want to say. Be sure to scroll to the bottom of that page and select "siastepstudy" next to "post to" - otherwise you will just be writing in your own livejournal and nobody here will see it!

If you want only members of this meeting to be able to read what you share (as opposed to anyone who happens to see this page), be sure to select "Friends" (not "Public" or "Private" or "Custom") next to "Security" at the bottom of the page.

Twelve Steps?

The twelve steps are a series of things that people can do to recover from destructive behavior. They are pretty broad - you can interpret them any way that works for you.

Survivors of Incest Anonymous uses the same twelve steps as any other twelve-step group. We also have a version of those steps with slightly revised wording; that is the version that this meeting uses.

The SIA Adapted Twelve Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over the abuse, the effects of the
abuse, and that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a loving Higher Power, greater than
ourselves, could restore hope, healing and sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care
of a loving Higher Power, as we understood this Higher Power.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, the
abuse, and its effects on our lives. We have no more secrets.

5. Admitted to a loving Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another
human being our strengths and weaknesses.

6. Were entirely ready to have a loving Higher Power help us remove
all the debilitating consequences of the abuse and became willing to
treat ourselves with respect, compassion and acceptance.

7. Humbly and honestly asked a loving Higher Power to remove the
unhealthy and self-defeating consequences stemming from the abuse.

8. Made a list of all the people we may have harmed of our own free
will, especially ourselves and our inner child or children, and became
willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made amends to such persons wherever possible, except when to do
so would result in physical, mental, emotional or spiritual harm to
ourselves or others.

10. Continued to take responsibility for our own recovery and when
we found ourselves behaving in patterns still dictated by the abuse,
promptly admitted it. When we succeeded, we promptly enjoyed it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious
contact with a loving Higher Power as we understood this Higher Power,
asking only for knowledge of our Higher Power's will for us and the
power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we
tried to carry this message to other survivors and to practice these
principles in all our endeavors.

What's a Step Study meeting?

This is a step study meeting. That means that while anyone can share about anything that is related to recovering from sexual abuse, we try to make a point of sharing a lot about the steps: what we think of them, how we work them, what has worked for us and how it's helping us.

Every month we will focus on a specific step; the meeting secretary will post about the new step on the first of each month, and people are encouraged to share what they know about it. But we are all at different stages in our recovery; you don't need to work the step that corresponds to the current month. You can post about any step that is up for you. Or anything else that feels relevant!

When sharing, please follow our Principles and Traditions (see http://www.siawso.org/page-1830881). When sharing something that might trigger others, please place a "Trigger Warning" and insert an LJ cut to hide the triggering part of your post. This is how it's done: Highlight the text you want to cut, then press the button with scissors. In the dialog box, you can replace "Read more..." with another word or phrase to link to the entire entry. When creating or editing an entry, the text included in the is surrounded by dashed lines and small split scissors images. Note that you can't see this in the preview.

Triggering topics would be:
- Mention of abuse or self injury
- Mention of death, cancer, suicide, or murder
- Mention of explicit sexual violence, conduct, dreams, fantasies, etc
- Explicit description of sexual abuse incidents

Cross-Talk, or, How Can This Be a Meeting If It's Online?

This is a question that comes up a lot. One idea that we've heard is that you can't have a meeting online because online meetings can have crosstalk and "real" meetings don't have that.

That's not really true; there have been meetings in many fellowships, including SIA, that have allowed cross-talk. It's not against the twelve traditions.

Cross-talk is talking to or about someone during the meeting, like using your share to respond to what they said, or interrupting theirs to make suggestions. Most meetings ban it because it's disruptive, and there's plenty of time to chat or get suggestions after the meeting. Of course, in this meeting there's no separation between "meeting time" and "after the meeting." But it's actually easier to handle cross-talk here than in an offline meeting, because of a little line at the bottom of the "update journal" page that says COMMENT SETTINGS.

So here's how it works. This livejournal page, http://siastepstudy.livejournal.com, is the meeting. The comments on each entry are "after the meeting." If you don't want feedback or comments on something you are sharing, all you have to do when you post is scroll down to "comment settings" and select "Disable." If you do this, nobody will be able to comment on your share.

As far as how it can be a meeting if it's online... it's a space where people in a particular twelve-step fellowship gather to study the steps and share about their recovery. What more do we need?

Service Positions

The secretary is the person who updates this info page, posts things like the step of the month, who runs a business meeting once in a while, and who helps make sure that newcomers' questions are answered and that any problems are ironed out by the group. This person is also allowed to ask a member to make a LJ cut in their share if needed or to change something which is violating the Traditions. In the utmost case, the secretary can make these changes him- or herself to keep the meeting safe. All service positions, including the secretary, should rotate regularly, to prevent any one member from becoming "the boss" of any meeting. Currently, the secretary is llomf.

This meeting currently lacks a treasurer and a literature person. To make a 7th Tradition donation or purchase SIA literature, visit www.siawso.org.

Questions?

Email the secretary by sending a personal message.