Chapter 16: Of Maeglin (original) (raw)

I continue my quest to help people get through the Silmarillion! Now up: Chapter 16 - Of Maeglin

The Silmarillion in 10 Minutes:

Chapter 16: Of Maeglin

Aredhel: :cries: I'm A princess who lives in a KICKASS Hidden City away from Evil, but I'm boooooooooooooored! :stomps feet:

Turgon: For Gods' sakes, Sister! If I let you go will you STOP WHINING?

Aredhel: Yes!

Turgon: FINE! :summons three guards: Protect her with your life or I KEEL YOU!!!!!

Guards: OK!

Aredhel: You guys can leave now! I is gonna see the sons of Feanor who are CRAZY even though I told Turgon I wouldn't.

Guards: OK! :leave:

Aredhel: :Mr. Burns: Excellent. :wanders into a REALLY DARK AND SPOOKY FOREST OMG: Where am I?

Eol: :evil laugh: Excellent. Fresh Meat! :sneaks up on Aredhel: Hello Little Girl.

Aredhel: EEEK! Who be youz?

Eol: :puts on the pathetic: I am a poor Dark Elf who lives here all by my lonesome with no one to talk too. Will you say with me?

Aredhel: OK!

Eol: Excellent. You will be my wife, so the housework, give me heirs, never speak Quenya, never speak of your family, and most of all NEVER EVER LEAVE OR I KEEL YOU DED!!!!

Aredhel: Meep. Maybe this was a mistake? :gets pregnant: Oops. I'll name him Lomion, but SHhhhh! No tellie the husband!

Eol: The boy doesn't get a name!

Maeglin: :turns twelve:

Eol: You've got piercing eyes, you shall be Maeglin!

Maeglin: Yay I have a name!!!!!!! er... I mean..:shruggs:

Eol: :goes away:

Aredhel: :tells Maeglin about HER FAMILY OMG:

Maeglin: :interested: I can be Turgon's heir!

Aredhel: WAAAAAAAAH! I WANNA GO HOOOOOOOOOME!

Eol: NO! Now make me a sandwich, woman! :goes to visit the dwarves:

Maeglin: QUICK! Run away! Run Away!

Aredhel and Maeglin: :FLEE!:

Eol: :home early: Honey, I'm Hooom...WTF? They're gone? I AM BETRAYED!!!!!

Curufin (A son of Feanor): WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, INFIDEL!?

Eol: I want my wife and son back!

Curufin: They ain't here.

Eol: :forced politeness: Thank you, Kinsman.

Curufin: Oh no you didn't! You STOLE Aredhel from us. You are no Kin of MINE. NOW GET OFF MY PROPERTY!!!!

Eol: :tracks Aredhel and Maeglin:

Aredhel and Maeglin: Yayz! We made it!

Turgon: You is alive! JOY!

Maeglin: :stares and pretty blonde on Turgon's right: Eeee! Pretty Shiny! Want!

Idril: Ewww. I'm your COUSIN.

Maeglin: SO? You're SHINY!

Eol: :taken captive:

Aredhel: Oh Noz!

Turgon: :frowns: You have to stay here. Can't having you tell people where this Pretty Pretty city is.

Eol: Screw you! Maeglin, come with me, boy!

Maeglin: But...I dun wanna....

Eol: I AM BETRAYED!!! :flings spear at Maeglin:

Aredhel: :SACRIFICE OMG: Owchies!

Turgon: I KEEL YOU!!!

Aredhel and Idril: Don't be rash!

Turgon: OK!

Aredhel: :dies: x_x

Turgon: I KEEL YOU!!!!!!!

Eol: I curse you, son! You won't ever amount to anything, you good for nothing FREAK! You will die the same death as me!

Maeglin: Meh, whatever old man.

Turgon: :Throws Eol off a GIANT CLIFF OF DOOM OMG:

Maeglin: Eeeee! I am Popular and an awesome miner and smart and good in battle!!!! But WHY DOES IDRIL NOT LOVE ME????????

Idril: Cuz you're a FREAK! Ewwwwww! You're my cousin!

Maeglin: SHINY! :stalks Idril and becomes obsessive:

The End