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It's crushing, absolutely crushing, and without numbing myself with calories or liquor, I just feel the weight of the emptiness. The fact that I can slip so easily back and forth these days frustrate me; never in my life have I felt this truly emotionally erratic.
I said that I was taking my life back, and here I am, in the loneliness of the night, alone.
I just want to scream, or cry or something. I'm fucking up, there is too much happening and it's causing me to fuck up more...I need to stop fucking…
I just can't handle this right now. I'm just unraveling, over and over again.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm fighting for. Can I even blame the dashed hopes any longer? There are no goals. No expectations. Just…