Snarkhame (original) (raw)

Dear Mr./Mrs./Ms. Idiot,

when you ask me what I am doing, my answer will be 'studying'. One of the many acceptable reactions to that answer is 'Oh, what are you studying?'. When my answer then, inevitable, is 'religions', there are not really any correct responses, but there sure as hell are several wrong ones.

Let me give a few examples:

Oh, are you a Christian then?

No, I am not. And this question is particularly stupid and downright infuriating when you have known me for several years. Can you point out exactly what it is that made you think so? I realise that not all christians are stuck-up and that some of them even swear and drink or whatever, but really - what made you think that? To me, that's as stupid as saying that studying English will make you English.

Secondly; do you have any idea how narrowminded and arrogant that question made you sound? Since when does 'religion' equal Christianity? I am fully aware that the Evangelic Lutheran Church of Norway is our state church, but that does not justify your comment! Take a look around, and you are sure to spot someone - several someones! - who's religion is not Christianity. We have people from several Asian and African countries living here, with representatives from Islam, Hindism, Buddhism and other religions. Yes, I am Norwegian, with the 'Norwegian' look of blonde hair, blue eyes, fair skin, the works, but never again make assumptions like that. Next time you ask, I'll be telling you I am Muslim and will be moving to Bagdad shortly.

Thirdly - I said 'religions'. I didn't specify which one, because we are currently going through a number of religions, and will not be chosing which one we want to specialise in quite yet. You did not know that, but on the other hand, you did not pay attention either.

Oh, so you're gonna be a minister then?

W.T.F?

And I will say that again:

W.T.F?

What the hell made you think I'm cut for being a minister? Even if you just met me, what about me made you think I look or act like someone who would love to be a minister? Again, I wonder what the fuck is going on in people's mind when they have known me for years and still manage to squeeze out that question. I mentioned this one to my mum, and she actually keeled over and rolled around on floor with laughter.

Also, please note that I said 'religions'. I thought it would be fairly obvious that 'religions' is plural, thereby meaning several of the item in question, and that a minister might want to focus on the one religion he professes himself to. Also, while some ministers do study theology at the university, you need a lot more than a simple bachelor or master's degree to call yourself by that title. We have own schools for those who want to take that road, with Bibles and prayers and soul saving and whatnot on the schedule - and you will never find me in one of those schools.

I can almost see why you asked if I was aiming to be a theologian - but not quite. I thought it followed by the title 'theologian' that s/he was someone who would be an expert on theology, given the close relation between the two words, but apparently not.

I hope this cleared everything up a bit for you.

A whack on the head and several kicks,

Christine

ETA: Had to change a bit, since I didn't realise until too late that a priest belong in the Catholic church, while I'm - by default and nothing less - Protestant and would therefore be assumed to be dying to be a minister (I think I used the right word this time. Sodding Norwenglish).