A machine for turning coffee into sarcasm (original) (raw)

It's a sin

It's a sin

WHEN OBSESSIONS COLLIDE! I painted a set of false nails with a Fallout: New Vegas theme. I've not yet plucked up the courage to apply them as my natural nailbeds are very short, so what would be fairly standard length nails on many other people will be gigantic talons on me. DAMN THESE STUBBY DIGITS. And damn my shaky hands and lack of fine detail brushes.

L-R, top row:
Sunset Sarsaparilla
Benny’s suit
Lucky 38 casino
Vault jumpsuit
Yes Man

I've been blonde for a while, mostly out of laziness. (Step one of achieving blue hair: bleach hair. Step two: dye hair blue. I kept it up for a few months, then last month I never quite got round to step two.) But as I'm job-hunting at the moment, I've dyed it back to something approximating my natural hair colour, as I don't want to miss out on a job opportunity if some twat judges my appearance to be unprofessional due to a few millimetres of visible dark roots. Seeing myself in the mirror is going to be pretty disappointing for a while. Oh, I look like that again. I MISS THE BLUE SO MUCH. :( Some bastard better hurry up and employ me to make this boringheadedness worthwhile. YOU HEAR ME, EMPLOYERS? ACTUALLY, I HOPE NOT, BECAUSE i DID JUST CALL YOU A BASTARD. OOPS. SORRY.

Mood: blahblah

It's a sin

It's a sin

28 January 2012 @ 02:30 am

Despite repeated recent efforts, I mostly fail at shopping. Too small, wrong shape, doesn't button up, not in stock, too expensive, blah blah blah. I ASK NOT FOR THE MOON ON A STICK, BUT A PAIR OF SKINNY JEANS THAT AREN'T BOTH SAGGY IN THE BUM AND TOO TIGHT IN THE CALVES.

On reflection, I think that shops fail me. But I am used to this, and take my small victories where I can. For example:

Five pairs of searingly bright argyle socks for four quid! Bosh! Thanks, Primark.

I have just laughed myself sore and hoarse with this, a tweet mashup thingy. These fragments are all things I've genuinely tweeted, though I think they actually make more sense when stitched back together this way than they did in my original warblings...

Mood: gigglygiggly

It's a sin

08 January 2012 @ 12:32 am

Today's shopping trip was not as successful as I'd hoped, but it did contain and absolute moral corruption, so a good time was had, overall.

I arrived in town with time to spare before I was due to meet Del, so I thought I'd pop to the Lomography shop to drop off some films for processing. If it were any other shop that provides film processing services, it would have been fine. But not this place. No. This is a little haven for analogue photo geeks and a staff member engaged me in nerdgasming over Ektachrome 320T. 320! It's so rare! Where did you find it? Of course, it's discontinued now. We do the 64, but that needs a lot of light. Which camera did you use? Sardina? Love that wide-angle lens.

And so I was late.

One of my xmas presents was a £50 gift voucher for John Lewis because my name is Holly and I am a yarnoholic. Since I can rarely afford enough yarn in one go for a large project, I tend to stick to knitting accessories like hats and scarves, but this was an excellent opportunity for cardiganning. (...look, it's a verb now, ok?) Of course, most of the yarn the correct weight for that cardigan pattern is either in colours I don't want, or just too pricey. (I am 2XL! I require many balls! Of yarn.) No mustard tweed for Holly. Sadface. I plumped for Patons Colour Works Aran in an odd grey, green and pink colourway. I like to knit things you wouldn't find in shops. I really don't think you'd find a striped cardigan in those colours in the shops. There's probably a good reason for that. I also picked up some Rowan Colourscape Chunky for a smidge over half-price in the sale. I love a self-striping bargain.

WHITTARD'S HAD NO RUSSIAN CARAVAN TEA. I was so disappointed that in a fit of #whitewhine I decided not to buy a mug from this CLEARLY INFERIOR ESTABLISHMENT. I had been looking forward to a nice big mug of Russian Caravan, and not Russian Power Ballad as Del misheard.

Then there were forbidden shoes and mockery and hats and a necklace with a compass on it that was so weakly magnetised that to find north it would have to go and ask Bear Grylls. I failed at clothes in Dorothy Perkins - or, rather, they failed at having my size in stock for any of the things I liked - so I will brave the hordes again soon to try the bigger branch. DOOOOOOOOOOM.

I am enjoying using this Planet Earth moodtheme again. Makes me want to rewatch the series.

Mood: tiredtired

It's a sin

06 January 2012 @ 02:37 am

2011 was a right old cock, you know? I have a post planned to explain why it was for me personally, which really boils down to "all my self-esteem has gradually evaporated and once again I despise myself like an angsty adolescent". Cock. I also have posts planned about: photos, knitting, stitching, fashion, Sherlock, books, nail polish, Skyrim, and pretty much anything else I can come up with just as a way of making myself use this journal again. To relearn that I sometimes have things worth saying, and I am sometimes capable of writing things longer than a tweet. Project Rebuild That Fucking Self-Esteem, Oh God I Can't Believe I Have To Go Through This Shit Again.

I changed my journal layout as an incentive to get back into LJ. Change the virtual linen for 2012. If your monitor could emit scents, my journal would smell like a duvet cover that was washed with Lenor fabric softener and hung out to dry on a line in the countryside. This would hopefully mask the odour of my current self-perception, which, if we're continuing with the bedlinen theme, is like a sheet wrapped round a murder victim who was dumped in the Thames. Lovely.

Tomorrow, if I can drag myself out of bed before mid-afternoon (it's so warrrrrrrrrrrrrrm and cosyyyyyyyyyyy) I plan on going shopping on Oxford St with giftcards I got for christmas. Shopping. Clothes shopping. HOLD ME.

Mood: coldcold