| someone asked me today if i didn't feel badly that i was carrying on with you while you had a girlfriend. and i lied and i told them i didn't know. i said, i didn't know and by the time i found it it didn't matter anymore.i looked them right in the face and lied. and neil, you know that made me sick. i suspected you had a girlfriend from day one, and i was sure of it when i heard you speaking in spanish in the bathroom. i knew it when you restricted our dinners to seedy diners in the worst parts of boston, and i knew it when you rented movies for us to watch.in your apartmenton your bed.in those sheets that smelled like sex.and i wondered how she never smelled it.and you told girlfriend you were going away for the weekend, but instead you were in bed with me. she is stupid for believing you- i was stupid for playing along.and when my strands of long black hair and clinique happy perfume gave me away we still didn't care. we were caught and you didn't care. |
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