thefairgrounds (original) (raw)

hey there everyone,
my name's foxie -- i'm new around here.
i'm not new to the communities, i just took...euh a year and a half leave from them?

i tried to get healthy.
but i just can't. i'm always -- no matter what weight -- having thoughts of hating food
of thinking myself fat
and i'm just caving to this damn ed again

i don't have the will to fight it anymore
so i'll just get thin again and be unhealthy and hopefully
be happy instead of miserable and feeling fat and gross

anyway,
i'm looking for people to talk to
:{ is there anyone else out there who was really really thin and then got back up to very much so undesired weight?

it's just so frustrating and i'm just so fucking sad about it

i don't know really what to do

so i made a new lj account heh

It seems like I only binge during the weekends...how can I stop this endless cycle?

it's been a rough few months, but now im kinda getting grip of myself so i just come here to tell you all how beautiful, strong, inspiring and amazing you all are!
just the idea that im not the only one who is going through ed and some other crap makes my day lighter. somewhere there are someone who understands my struggle.

tnx for being here, although i understand that im not much of a poster so im not giving much support for others, still, want you all to know how much you mean to me.

stay strong and beautiful.

I'm really upset. I did it again.

I havn't been bulimic for a very long time, and I went back to my old ways.
I wish I had some one to talk to about it.
My parents don't care. My brothers just get mad about it,
I just wish I could talk to some one about it.
You know?

I'm just not sure what to do. I don't want to go back to this, but, it's also so comforting, you know?

i have pretty much made a bloody mess of my recovery. im not puking (much yet) but im not exactly eating much either.

ive been a pretty bad friend both to people on lj and the real world. i just cant seem to stick to reality and grasp words properley written or heard drunk or not...

im sorry guys i am an arsehole to everyone at the moment.

im turning into a deceptive bitch again. like fuck anyone who takes me on and wants to bring up my mental health (or lack of) ...

i spent a year in ip. i didnt go there to watch myself fuck ip to the highest degree less that 2 years later... if mess up this time where have i got left to go for help?

my battle to get help last time was horrendous. im the poster girl yes. but really despite my temporary.lovely story. in all honesty they will.stop believing in me... and the worst thing is that my cpn as.amazing as she is has.no.idea of.my history nor what is happening right now.

thats all.said. but.as.much as i am trying so hard now to curb the relapse and really fight for myself i dont even think i want help. in all honesty i dont think i can live long term without an eating disorder...

whats your confession? x

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

Hi, I made a eating disorder/self-injury support website, and would love new members! The link is recoveryonline.us/index/ and while the site has only been up and running for about a week, we'd love to have more of a community. We have a forum including personal challenges, and resources about ed's/self-harm. We'd love for some of you to check out the site! I've been a member of this community for about a year but never posted before, so, to introduce myself, I'm Jane and a recovering Bulimic/Anorexic. I hope you all are willing to check out the site and join, I'd love to hear from you, and you're welcome to message me feedback about the site.

Hello...my name is Jackie. I have been bulimic for 31 years. I find my health is faltering quickly now. I am looking for encouragement to want to get better, to see a good life without and eating disorder. I have only recently started studying the disease and realizing what control it has over my life. Would love to hear from people who are recovering and have good advice. People who are beating it and can share how much their lives have changed.

Im new on here and looking for new friends to talk to who can relate to what im going through. I was diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia about 3 years ago. I have been hospitalized through out the last few years. I do good for a bit after i get out and then i go back to my habits and dying to lose weight. i am currently very active in my eating disorder right now. If you are interested in talking we can talk on here, facebook, text or email. I looking forward to talking with you

Hello *waves*

I just joined this community. Actually I'm quite new to livejournal in general!

My name is Carrie, 30 y.o, have been suffering from anorexia (on and off I guess) for many many years. Since i was a teenager. I suppose the reason I'm reaching out for support right now is because I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life and am feeling more lonely than I've ever ever felt before. I am married and have some friends and a wonderful family and family-in-law. But I'm incredibly lonely. I'm not sure if I'm happy in my job, I'm certainly not happy with my body. And people assume that because my weight is OK right now and I'm "recovered" that all is A-OK.

It frustrates me that people think this is still a "diet" and that I'm being "immature" and should just "get over it". I need to be around people who understand me.

So hopefully I'll get to know you all and can support you also.

Carrie x

My stupid body is misbehaving again. I've had to reschedule my dentist appointment and as soon as I did my teeth started to hurt again with a vengance, I've got an infection in the jawbone and I don't think the last course of antibiotics did much good. I absolutely resent my own mouth costing me money!
And my period is trying to start but lately that means days of spotting before it decides what to do. I've been referred to the gyno because my wonky reproductive organs have been examined by 2 GPs and neither of them can figure it out. I won't go into gory detail but I'd rather they just found someting they can fix with surgery rather than just telling me it's a mystery again and that I have to live with it. Also, I'm a massive prude and terrified of being examined.
I'm staying with my parents for a few days and my sacles are here. I didn't take them with me when I moved out because I know I'd be enslaved to them. I really want to check my weight but I've told myself I have to wait till the end of the year. If I still want to then I can. I'm less scared of the number being to big (it always is, after all) it's more that I don't trust myself not to be checking multiple times a day which is pointless and unhealthy. As soon as they saw me my parents said I've lost weight, if that worries them I'll never know because they don't give much away. I still wish they wouldnt comment though, it's like if you've ever had an ED people think it's totally ok to comment on your weight and percieved health.

Anyway, aside from all this whining, I'm doing ok really. I think it've just reached some kind of stress event horizon and now I'm just coasting.
Sorry to spam up your friends page with my blah, hope you're all doing well whatever that means for you right now ^_^.