The Tragic Dad's Journal (original) (raw)

My story! The situation is this:

Im 23, I had a child with a girl I was engaged to when I was 19. We stayed together till I was 21. (we had been together for about 5 years in total.)

Well, when we first split, we had to sell the house so we were living under the same roof for a while so I still got to see Jordan.

When I moved out, I was initially planning on moving back in with my mum and step-dad but I had met a girl at work and we had become quite close over the last few months, she had just split with her fella, so we thought it would be good if I moved in with her, if nothing else but to help eachother afford to live.

This was a lot more appealing than moving back home, I never got on with my step-dad when I lived there.

Charlotte, the girl I moved in with was (and still is) really lovely. Our relationship has blosomed since moving in with each other and we both knew it was a big risk to do something like this so early on in a relationship. Some might say we were both on the rebound but the truth is we love eachother very much.

Up until about 3 months ago I was seeing my 4 year old every weekend and he would come and stay with us most saturdays...I was over the moon at the way Charlotte had accepted him into our lives.

Recently though, I have not seen him. Not because his mother wont let me but because, well, I think it is best for him to grow up without me in the picture. His mother has since found a new partner and obviously has taken on the role of "father" figure. I dont want to be a weekend father. All or nothing. Thats me. I'm doing this purely for selfless reasons...I want to see Jordan, hes only 4 but its not fair on him only seeing me once a week wondering what the hell is going on and why is dad is never around so I thought I would remove myself out of the picture entirely. Charlotte first opened my eyes to what was happening to Jordan and what must ne going on inside his head!

After we sat down and talked about it, I realised how selfish I was being and that I should just let him go and give him some chance of a normal life.

My mother still sees him and she is always asking me when I am going to see him. I havent got the guts to come out and tell her that Im not going to see him anymore, mainly becuase I dont want to burst into tears saying it...

Anyone's opinions...positive or negative will be greatly appreciated..

And I realise I am only the 2nd member of this community so it may take some time...

Waiting patiently

Andrew