fic: stuck on you (original) (raw)

The first thing Colin notices about Bradley the first time he meets him is his silver thumb ring.

Or so he tells himself. He refuses to admit he's vain like every other person on the planet, and in actual fact the first thing he notices about Bradley is his face. In Colin's defence, it's a ridiculously good-looking face. Colin swears one time in Pierrefonds someone actually crashed their bicycle into a tree because they'd been too busy staring at Bradley walking down the sidewalk.

Colin's jealous; jealous of Bradley's ring because of how much attention it gets from its owner. Sometimes Bradley will kiss it; whether it's for luck or to silently torture Colin, Colin isn't sure, but he is sure he wouldn't mind a kiss (or two... or two hundred) from Bradley.

After a month filming Merlin, Colin contemplates asking Bradley more about the ring. Colin reckons it's not really any of his business, and not knowing the significance behind the ring gives an air of mystery about Bradley. But after a month of filming, curiosity to get the better of him, and so he works up the courage to ask Bradley about the piece of jewellery. Except when he does, he wishes he kept his mouth shut, because Bradley looks like his puppy died. They're in Colin's hotel room, and Bradley is staring into his lap. Colin is staring at Bradley's lap, too, but not in quite the same way.

“It was given to me by my late grandmother,” Bradley explains quietly with air of sadness about him. “Her dying wish was for me to become an actor.”

Colin is deeply moved. He touches Bradley's shoulder comfortingly. This is a side of Bradley he's never seen before...

Bradley's mouth twitches.

Something fishy is going on here.

“You lying bully,” Colin shoves Bradley away. Judging by Bradley's face, Colin fell for a completely made-up story, and Bradley's gran is very much alive.

“What you just witnessed was called acting, Morgan.” Bradley lies back comfortably in Colin's bed, places his hands behind his head and flashes his pearly white teeth at the ceiling. “You might want to try it sometime.”

“Shut up, Bradley. Where'd you really get the ring?”

Bradley cocks an eyebrow at Colin. “How can I tell you if you just told me to shut up?”

Colin lifts an eyebrow back. “Since when do you shut up after someone tells you to?”

Colin has a point.

“There's this place that sells rings and other such items,” Bradley explains slowly. “It's called a jewellers.”

“Alright,” Colin sighs, stretching out across the bed. “I get it. I should mind my own business, right?”

Bradley rolls his eyes and turns on his side, his knee bumping into Colin's, and they're far too close for Colin to breathe normally.

“I like thumb rings,” Bradley says simply. “Haven't you ever come across anything in your life you really like but can't explain why?”

“You,” Colin says without thinking.

Bradley draws back in shock. “Huh?”

“I didn't finish my sentence! You...” Colin needs to think up something fast. “You... smell.”

Colin cringes inwardly. Good save, Morgan.

Lucky for Colin, Bradley sees the funny side.

“I'm so glad I've attuned to your humour,” Bradley laughs. “I would never have got that joke a month ago.”

Colin blinks dumbly in response.

They watch French TV for an hour. Colin spends sixty minutes watching painfully as Bradley brushes his lips against the band of his ring during the adverts.

Yeah, Colin's got it bad.

***

When Colin tries on Bradley's ring, it seems like a good idea at the time.

Disaster strikes on a day off filming. Bradley insists on showering before he and Colin grab lunch together. Bradley is such a girl, taking ages in the bathroom while Colin waits in Bradley's room, bored out of his mind, and not to mention hungry. Colin notices Bradley's thumb ring on the bed stand. He has an urge to pick it up, so he does.

He has a deeper urge to try it on, so he does that as well.

He rapidly comes to the conclusion that jewellery just doesn't suit him. Somehow Bradley manages to carry the thumb ring off, but it only succeeds in making Colin look downright silly. But that's the least of his worries. You see, the ring is stuck.

The ring is stuck on his wedding ring finger.

Colin concludes the universe hates him.

Eventually Mr Bradley James emerges from the bathroom in a puff of steam.

“Colin?” he says to an empty room.

***

Colin has two options.

He can cut off the ring.

Or, he can cut off his finger.

He decides to find a knife first, then come to a decision.

Sadly, his hotel room lacks knives, so he goes to Katie's room and asks if she has one. Katie gives him a look any human being would give someone if they were asked if they could borrow a knife without mentioning why.

“What did Bradley do this time?” Katie asks with a groan.

“Nothing,” Colin says, surprising her. “I just need a knife, that's all.”

“Do you have any idea how homicidal you sound right now? Tell me why you need a knife, then maybe we can negotiate something,” Katie says reasonably.

As much as Colin really doesn't want to, he has no other choice but to show Katie his finger. He pulls up the sleeve of his hoodie and stretches out his hand to her, palm down. Katie doesn't look nearly as shocked as Colin thought she'd be.

“Could Bradley not afford diamonds?” she says.

Colin's face twists in confusion. “Sorry?”

“Well, I assume that's a wedding ring, and you and Bradley had too much to drink last night and got married.”

“_No!_” Colin says. Katie looks almost disappointed. “This is Bradley's ring.”

“Oh, you mean that ring that makes him act like Gollum?” Katie sniggers. “Is this what couples do now, swap jewellery?”

“We're not a couple,” Colin argues with a glare.

“Yet.”

“Never.” How exactly did this conversation become a discussion about his relationship with Bradley? “Anyway, he doesn't like me like that.”

“But you like him like that,” Katie smirks.

“_No!_”

“Then answer me this: why did you put his thumb ring on your wedding ring finger?”

Good question. What exactly did compel him to do it? Is his subconscious telling him he wants to take Bradley as his bride?

“I don't know!” Colin breaks down, and Katie sighs and brings into him a much-needed hug.

“There you are!” a third voice says.

“Oh no,” Colin mutters as Bradley approaches them outside Katie's door. Colin covers the ring with his sleeve just in time. Katie and Bradley pretend to sneer at each other as a form of hello.

“Fraternizing with the enemy I see.” Bradley looks between Colin and Katie, wondering why Colin looks so nervous. “What's going on?” Bradley asks nosily.

“Oh, Colin and I just had mind-blowing sex,” Katie mentions off-hand.

For a second, Bradley believes her, and his eyes nearly pop out of his head. But Colin's face gives the game away.

“Oh, good one, Katie. You should quit acting and become a comedian.”

“I saw the flicker of panic in your eyes, Bradley James.”

Bradley pouts. “Whatever, you wench.”

“I know something you don't know,” Katie says in a sing-song voice.

Bradley scoffs. “You don't know squat.” A pause. “What do you know?”

“Lunch,” Colin reminds Bradley, shooting Katie a dark look to shut the hell up. “Let's go.” He grabs Bradley's arm and drags him away.

“Bye, boys.” Katie blows them a kiss down the corridor.

Bradley is desperate to find out what he doesn't know, and nothing is more annoying than Katie knowing something he doesn't. He struggles to free himself from Colin, but Colin is surprisingly strong when he wants to be.

“This isn't over, McGrath!”

***

Colin and Bradley have lunch, except Bradley doesn't eat. Instead, he stares at his plate of food like it's a bit of weird art. Colin has never seen him lose his appetite before, and it makes him watch Bradley anxiously from across the table. For a moment, Colin pushes his crisis aside, and puts Bradley first, because he's that kind of guy.

“Bradley, are you okay?” Colin asks, concerned.

Bradley looks up and shakes his head grimly at Colin. “Did you see my ring in my room earlier?” he asks hopefully. Of course, his spirits would be low because of his sodding ring.

“Nope!” Colin says in a voice that should gain suspicion, but Bradley is too wrapped up in his sorry affairs to pay close attention to Colin. Meanwhile, Colin's guilt intensifies.

“I feel... naked without it,” Bradley confesses.

An image of Bradley spread out naked on Colin's bed fills Colin's mind.

“N-naked?”

“Naked, Colin,” Bradley says with an eyeroll. “It's when you have no clothes on.”

“I know what naked means,” Colin snaps. He's picturing Bradley naked now, for God's sake, he knows what it means...

Bradley watches as Colin commits an act of theft right in front of him.

“Why the hell did you just pocket a butter knife?”

“No reason,” Colin says, all smiles.

Bradley broods while he rubs his naked thumb. “Did you really have mind-blowing sex with--”

“_No, Bradley._”

***

Colin can't cut off the ring because, as much as Bradley won't admit it, it means something to him, and Colin is rather fond of his finger. Besides, the butter knife is too blunt to do anything with. Other than spread butter, of course.

He needs to tell Bradley he has his ring so he'll stop telling Colin how naked he feels. It gives Colin a hard-on ever time he bloody says it. So at the end of the day Colin swallows his pride and knocks on Bradley's door. Bradley has been very mature: he's been sulking about his ring in his room all day.

“Hey,” Bradley greets Colin with a sad sigh. “Come in.”

Bradley closes the door behind Colin, while Colin dithers awkwardly in the middle of the room.

“Bradley, if I show you where your ring is, will you cheer up and promise not to say anything?”

“You found it?” Bradley's face fills with relief. “Yeah, whatever! Just show me,” he urges Colin, eager for his ring back.

Colin lifts up his sleeve and offers Bradley his hand, watching Bradley for a reaction. A mixture of shock and confusion washes over Bradley's face.

“Oh dear God,” Bradley mutters under his breath.

“You promised you wouldn't say anything!”

“I didn't say anything, I said _oh dear God._” Bradley stares at Colin until he turns bright red. “Oh Colin, you loser. Give it here, then.”

“I can't,” Colin says, mortified. “It's stuck.”

Bradley doesn't know whether to laugh or be annoyed with the turn of events. “Are you sure?”

“I'm pretty sure, Bradley!” Colin snarls.

“Did you try...” Bradley snickers. “Lubricating your finger?”

Colin looks far from amused. “Are you deliberately trying to make this situation uncomfortable for me as possible?”

Of course Bradley is. “Give me your hand, Colin.”

Colin keeps his hand by his side for obvious reasons. “What are you going to do?”

“_Morgan._”

“Okay, okay!” Colin just wants to be rid of the thing and gives Bradley his hand.

Bradley bends Colin's fingers down and out of the way of the finger with his ring on. Then he wets his mouth, catches Colin's eye, and Colin shivers.

“Bradley,” Colin chokes out, “I don't think--”

This is a good idea, he finishes his sentence in his head, because he's just been rendered speechless by Bradley sucking on his finger.

Maybe the universe doesn't hate Colin after all.

He can feel Bradley roll his tongue slowly around his finger, licking and tugging the band of the ring with his teeth to try and loosen it. Colin can't tell if it's working or not because he's too busy imagining Bradley's mouth around something else. Unbeknownst to Colin, Bradley is imagining the exact same thing.

Eventually Bradley pulls Colin's finger out of his mouth with an almost laughable popping sound. His mouth is shaped in a tiny circle, because in between his lips is his precious thumb ring. Holding the ring between his thumb and forefinger, he grins triumphantly. “Gotcha!”

A thudding sound causes Bradley to frown.

“Colin?” he says to his unconscious co-star on the floor. Unconscious co-stars are, after all, the best conversationalists.

He doesn't know how he's going to explain that bump on Colin's head to the producers.

***

“Wake up, loser.”

Colin opens his eyes blearily. Bradley is crouched over him on his hands and knees.

“You never told me you had a finger-sucking kink,” Bradley says, as if passing out hadn't embarrassed Colin enough.

“It never came up in conversation,” Colin answers truthfully as he works out the nearest escape route out of here so he can go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel tower, because death is better than Bradley staring down at him as he waits to be ridiculed. But there isn't a trace of mockery in Bradley's eyes.

Out of nowhere, Bradley leans down and presses his lips against Colin's mouth. Bradley keeps his lips still, allowing Colin a moment to overcome his shock and decide whether he wants this, and he does, (of course he does, he's wanted this from the start), opening his mouth for Bradley, cupping the nape of his neck and pulling him closer. They kiss slowly at first, and then with an intensity that seems to take both of them by surprise.

“You like me,” Colin says, breathing hard.

“Like a fat kid enjoys cake,” Bradley says, also short for breath.

Colin can't understand-- “Why?”

“Because you're...” Bradley fumbles for a reason, tracing Colin's cheekbones with the smooth band of his thumb ring. “You're... Colin.”

Colin can't help but laugh. “What does that even _mean?_”

“I don't know,” Bradley laughs back. “Lucky for you, you don't have to get my ring stuck on your cock for me to give you a blowjob.”

Colin rolls his eyes to the ceiling. “Who says romance is dead?”

Bradley grabs Colin's hands and pulls him up. Next stop: Bradley's bed.

“When in France,” Bradley says, “do as the French do.”

Colin cocks his head curiously. “And what do they do?”

Bradley's breath tickles Colin's ear. “Love.”

Colin beams.