More than 6-7 sentences when the story is so melancholy/dramatic (original) (raw)

More than 6-7 sentences when the story is so melancholy/dramatic	[Dec. 23rd, 2005\|10:42 am]Tall Tales
Maggie was hardly unattractive, and she retained the youthful look of her mid-twenties despite her thirty-seven years. Dr. James Channing, who had just recently completed his residency and had yet to see the older side of thirty, was hardly oblivious to her physical charms, and so he detoured to see if she might need any assistance. Or a date, since he was nearing the end of his emergency room shift. He could, he decided, certainly use a bit of companionship, especially after the last week.Maggie tried to think quickly; she needed to be alone and sort things out. Ever since her bout of depression and membership in the Witches of Cornwall cult, she had frequently had episodes of confusion, after which her memory was always a bit ratty, and today was no exception. So she asked for the nearest loo, and was obliged to think she would be able to examine the contents of her pocket once she was in the privacy of her own stall.After entering the W.C., she immediately entered the last empty stall and locked the door, sitting on the toilet before extracting her bloody hand. She gasped. She was holding a small, silver orb marked with intricate Celtic designs. She had seen these before.She covered her mouth with her unbloodied hand and began to weep.
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More than 6-7 sentences when the story is so melancholy/dramatic

[Dec. 23rd, 2005|10:42 am]Tall Tales

Maggie was hardly unattractive, and she retained the youthful look of her mid-twenties despite her thirty-seven years. Dr. James Channing, who had just recently completed his residency and had yet to see the older side of thirty, was hardly oblivious to her physical charms, and so he detoured to see if she might need any assistance. Or a date, since he was nearing the end of his emergency room shift. He could, he decided, certainly use a bit of companionship, especially after the last week.Maggie tried to think quickly; she needed to be alone and sort things out. Ever since her bout of depression and membership in the Witches of Cornwall cult, she had frequently had episodes of confusion, after which her memory was always a bit ratty, and today was no exception. So she asked for the nearest loo, and was obliged to think she would be able to examine the contents of her pocket once she was in the privacy of her own stall.After entering the W.C., she immediately entered the last empty stall and locked the door, sitting on the toilet before extracting her bloody hand. She gasped. She was holding a small, silver orb marked with intricate Celtic designs. She had seen these before.She covered her mouth with her unbloodied hand and began to weep.

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Comments:
ah you bring magic and a cult into the mix. we're doomed! cries nothing of the sort regarding magic. but cult? yes. i mean, there's the implication she may have been in some sort of trance and done the foul deed, no?I think you're up to bat. :)Honestly, this is so much better than Zed isn't it?can i just tell you how i picture the story going?maggie is in this cult thingy. charles' mom was in it too. the letters in the chest were just a cover for what lay on the bottom hidden layer, ... and i have so many more ideas! but i cant do it in 6-7 or 60-70 sentences and by the time it's my turn, the story goes a completely different way.this is SOO fun!wasnt there an attempt to start a story by researching specific local places in london and filling the story with as many accurate locations, idioms, and facts are you could?loo, w.c.... she's from london yes? uh, i dunno; she's from the U.K., or so I thought, given what [Unknown LJ tag] wrote. yes yes. that was the intent. thanks for picking up on that. i like the twist toward the supernatural. :) doesn't have to be supernatural! heh. i'm just leaving that door open, is all.

Comments:

ah you bring magic and a cult into the mix. we're doomed! *cries* nothing of the sort regarding magic. but cult? yes. i mean, there's the implication she may have been in some sort of trance and done the foul deed, no?I think you're up to bat. :)Honestly, this is so much better than Zed isn't it?can i just tell you how i picture the story going?maggie is in this cult thingy. charles' mom was in it too. the letters in the chest were just a cover for what lay on the bottom hidden layer, ... and i have so many more ideas! but i cant do it in 6-7 or 60-70 sentences and by the time it's my turn, the story goes a completely different way.this is SOO fun!wasnt there an attempt to start a story by researching specific local places in london and filling the story with as many accurate locations, idioms, and facts are you could?loo, w.c.... she's from london yes? uh, i dunno; she's from the U.K., or so I thought, given what [Unknown LJ tag] wrote. yes yes. that was the intent. thanks for picking up on that. i like the twist toward the supernatural. :) doesn't have to be supernatural! heh. i'm just leaving that door open, is all.