TornUpPages' Journal (original) (raw)

[	mood	|	bouncy	]

Hey everybody...I'm new to the community and I would like to start off with a poem kinda introducing me and my feelings. So here it is...

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Cold and Dead
Cold and dead inside,
burning from the internal fires of my mind.
My mind isn’t the only thing that’s burned,
but my heart is as well.
My heart is bruised and torn to pieces,
It’s been ripped into shreds,
tossed into a bottle of poison.
Now I’m cold and dead inside.
Cold and dead,
waiting for the day to join my coffin,
as it sits and waits for me,
hoping to be filled soon.
Although my heart has been shredded and bruised,
it wants to go on living,
it wants to try and get through hell,
and show everyone who I am.
Who I will be once I’m happy.
But that won’t be for a while,
right now I’m cold and dead inside.
Cold and dead,
facing life alone and lost in thoughts.
Lost and confused as to my purpose on the earth.
My purpose in my life has faded,
I don’t know what it is anymore,
because I fail at everything,
no matter what it is,
I fail.
I feel estrange from everyone I know,
so different from everything.
Uncommunicative, not wanting to let them in,
scared and helpless inside,
uncontrolled images and thoughts,
left alone to deal with them,
dwell upon them,
trying to cope with reality and what might be true.
I have no closeness to anybody,
no trust,
only imagination, which plays evil tricks on me.
I’m cold and dead inside.
Cold and dead,
I feel pitied for my emptiness and my pain.
I hate that pity,
I don’t need it, I need someone to help me through this.
But I have no more family,
I have no more friends,
I have no one because to my realization,
I’m a loner.
No one wants me,
no one cares,
maybe the devil,
but he just wants to corrupt me,
he wants to screw up my mind even more than it is,
he wants to turn me against everything good that I know.
But I won’t let him control me,
I am in control,
nobody will change me.
I won’t let them,
because I’m cold and dead inside.
Cold and dead,
that’s me and how I have been,
how I am now,
how I see myself in the future.
I can’t see myself as anything else.
Only cold and dead inside.
Cold and dead,
lost within my thoughts and now myself.
How will I ever get out?
How will I ever generate happiness?
How will I ever overcome my never ending depression?
I don’t know if I ever will be able to.
I’m alone now,
nothing seems to matter anymore,
I’m just cold and dead inside.
Cold and dead.

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I hope you all liked it. It's my way of introducing myself to all of you. This is one of my poems that pretty much riped my heart a part to write. Thanks for reading everyone.