What Would Tucker's Stalker Do? (original) (raw)

[	mood	|	annoyed	]

In case someone managed to miss it, here is the full saga I like to call Tucker Carlson Proves That He Is a Bitchy 13-year-old Girl, as found on ONTD-political:

The day before yesterday, Phawker.com got a hold of an email exchange between Stu Bykofsky, conservative columnist for the Philadelphia Daily News, and keith@keitholbermann.com--yes, that Keith Olbermann. Phawker posted the exchange as HOT DOCUMENT: Keith Olbermann vs. Stu Bykofsky and included the following editorial note:

EDITOR’S NOTE: The following is a testy email exchange between The Daily News’ Stu Bykofsky and MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann regarding the latter’s suspension. Olbermann breaks his media silence to berate Byko and takes great offense at Byko’s column from last Thursday which itemized the respective ideological affiliations of guests on Olbermann’s The Countdown and Bill O’Reilly’s The Factor and concluded that O’Reilly was the more fair and balanced. Whether Juan Williams, Alan Colmes or Geraldo Rivera actually qualify as legitimate voices of the left — and not Fox News-financed straw men — remains debatable at best, in our opinion. Still, the exchange makes for an entertaining read as the insults fly fast and furious and much pettiness ensues. Olbermann also goes out of his way to insult the man that suspended him, MSNBC’s Phil Griffin, although Olbermann denies in the email exchange that Griffin is actually the boss of him. Ballsy. All dialogue guaranteed 100% for real.

There's just one problem. That's not Keith Olbermann's email address any more, and the third commenter tells Phawker as much.

All 100% real….except it’s not, of course. Someone was obviously scamming the gullible Mr Byko. KeithOlbermann.com is not owned or run by Keith Olbermann. It was purchased as a domain by Tucker Carlson and his Daily Caller some months ago as a little prank on Keith O.

So one of Carlson’s troops apparently impersonated Olbermann and “journalist” Byko fell for it. Nice.

Oops. Phawker promptly posts a correction.

UPDATE: We’ve been punked, it would seem. Turns out right wing web site The Daily Caller purchased the domain name KeithOlbermann.com over the summer. Long time Olbermann nemesis Tucker Carlson crowed to Michael Calderone at Yahoo News that he planned to use the email address Keith@KeithOlbermann.com. We had it on good authority that this was all legit, but it would appear that is not the case. Our apologies. We will leave this up as penance.

Phawker has to eat more crow, as the real Keith Olbermann weighs in.

"If you see a supposed email exchange between me and somebody named Bykofsky @PhillyDailyNews - complete fake. Email address shown not mine."

The story sprouts legs and starts running around the internet, as Huffington Post tells the story of the troll. Phawker does its best imitation of a facepalm.

THIRD UPDATE: Christ, now it’s on Huffington Post. All of a sudden we feel like a teenage girl who can’t distinguish between good attention and bad attention.

HuffPo's readers respond with 4000+ comments, a few of which are even worth reading.

Finally, Tucker Carlson confirms to Michael Calderone that he was indeed the hand inside the fake Olbermann sockpuppet.

From the Yahoo! News article: Carlson, reached by phone Tuesday night, confirmed he impersonated Olbermann in the email responses to Bykofsky.

"Could you resist?" Carlson said. "It was just too funny. The flesh is weak."

Carlson said he didn't expect the email exchange to be published.

Yeah, right. If that were so, then why would he have written the following?

"As if.

I could have Phil Griffin fired tomorrow if I felt like it, trust me. And if he keeps yapping about me in public, I may. For the moment, however, keeping Phil around is like having a drunk chimp in the office — more amusing than threatening.

Feel free to correct the record in your "column."

KO"

Finally, Phawker's last update on the post takes a little bit of unfunny revenge on Mr. Carlson.

RELATED: In a continuing effort to combat identity theft, New York recently enacted an amendment to the Penal Law making it a crime to impersonate another person or pretend to be a public servant by means of online communication. Specifically, New York’s Internet impersonation law amends section 190.25 of the Penal Law by adding Subdivision 4, making it a crime to impersonate another person by electronic means, including through use of a website, with the intent to obtain a benefit or injure or defraud another person. It also prohibits using such electronic means to pretend to be a public servant in order to induce another person to submit to false authority or to act in reliance on that false pretense. Internet impersonation is a Class A misdemeanor and carries a maximum penalty of a $1,000 fine and a one-year term of imprisonment for each violation or act of impersonation. The new law became effective on November 1, 2008.

***

I'm... Astounded. Buying the domain name is one thing, joking about using the keith@keitholbermann.com mail address is another thing, but actually posing as KO, in an attempt to slander him, that is in a whole other league! Fuck you, Tucker, fuck you hard, without preparation or lube.

He wasn't even very good at it. Tucker Carlson, possibly the worlds worst RP'er.

I am writing hate-fic as I type XD

ETA: Nothing would make me happier than seeing Tucker in court, begging not to be sent to prison. Yeah, I am that twisted.