Welcome to Knight Burger, what will ye have ? (original) (raw)

I Feel: Fucked Up
Sound: Barbara Streisand

Movies that are coming out soon within the next few years...

Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince, (2008), Who the fuck cares anymore ?

ChiPs, (2008)

The Smurfs, (2008), A whole lot of gang bangin.

Untitled Batman Begins Sequel, (2008), Fuck Yeah!

The Simpsons, (2008), Yay!

Halo, (2007), Directed By Guillermo Del Toro And Produced By Peter Jackson. Fuck Yeah!

Rush Hour 3, (2007), Sorry David.

Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, (2007), Oh boy another one.

Battle Angel, (2007), Finally, another good film by James Cameron.

Untitled Transformers Film, (2007), Hmmm...how about Transformers ?

Benjamin Button, (2007), Directed By David Fincher. Gonna kick ass!!

Boob Job, (2007), 'Plot Outline: A married man's life is unexpectedly changed for the worse by his wife's boob job.' Who comes up with this shit!?

The Bourne Ultimatum, (2007), Typical Hollywood Shit.

Rocky Balboa, (2007), Fuck Sylvester Stallone.

Mighty Mouse, (2007), Here I come to save the day.

The Three Stooges, (2007), Directed By The Farrelly Brothers. Good luck on that one.

Land Of The Lost, (2007), Directed By Adam McKay. Adam McKay also directed Anchorman. Yay!

Hairspray, (2007), Yet, another shitty remake.

Rainbow Six, (2007), Cool.

Fantastic Four 2, (2007), Like the first one was any good. Man fuck that bitch!

Wonder Woman, (2007), Not surprised.

Untitled Deep Throat Project, (2007), Need I say more.

Wolverine, (2007), Fuck yeah!

Old School 2, (2007), Another sequel.

The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift, (2006), Starring Zachary Ty Bryan. Who the fuck cares!!

Mrs. Doubtfire 2, (2006), I saw it coming.

Garfield 2, (2006), Just some more bitch shit.

Creature From The Black Lagoon, (2006), I'm not surprised. Directed by Breck Eisner. Breck Eisner directed Jack Shit!! So fuck that.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, (2006), Why!?...Fuck.

Jurassic Park IV, (2006), ?????????

Back To School, (2006), Starring Cedric The Entertainer. Man I'll fart on that.

Foxy Brown, (2006), Remake. Booooooo!!

Evan Almighty, (2006), Morgan Freeman is God again.

The Munsters, (2006), Written By Keenan Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans And Shawn Wayans. Holy God!!

Where The Wild Things Are, (2006), Directed By Spike Jonze. Fuckin awesome!

The Brazilian Job, (2006), Yay for fucked up sequels!

The Great Escape, (2006), Fuck you Hollywood!

The Net 2.0, (2006), Another shitty sequel.

The Eye, (2006), Another fuckin Japanese horror film remade in the U.S.

Final Destination 3, (2006), Pure shit.

X-Men 3, (2006), Give me a Hell yeah!

Zodiac, (2006), Directed by David Fincher. Fuck yeah!!

Arrested Development, (2006)

The Omen 666, (2006), Starring Liev Schreiber And Julia Stiles. Don't do it. Just leave it alone.

Hawaiian Dick, (2006), ?...I'll let you come up with your own plot for that.

Mortal Kombat: Devastation, (2006), Directed by some guy named...mink...?

Terminator 4, (2006), ???

The A-Team, (2006), Hahahahaha!!

Dr. Dolittle 3, (2006)

Untitled Mad Max 4, (2006)

As you can tell eighty percent of these movies are pure shit!

And now for the worse movies to come out that should not be made. Ever!

Number Three,
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, (2007), It's a remake! God help us all!

Number Two,
Under Seige 3, (2007), Starring And Produced By Steven Seagal. 'Tagline: Terror Flies High' God! Fuck! Shit And Bitch! Bastard! Potato! Ass booger!

Number One,
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Quest For The Holy Speicher

Unbefuckinlievable!!

The 'Tagline: The Speicher will get you.'

The most fucked up thing I ever heard.

And check this out...

Plot Outline: The Power Rangers are battling a new type of enemy from a planet called Cadmusy. The leader of the Cadmusies, Ingishmunsharywup Dix III, wants revenge on Zordon. The Power Rangers need the Speicher to stop them.

If it could only get worse...

Written And Directed By Joel Schumacher.

The most fucked up shitty cast I ever heard of...

Nicolas Cage ------------------------ Zordon
Jason Biggs ------------------------- Red Ranger
Tobey Maguire ---------------------- Blue Ranger
Chris O'Donnell --------------------- White Ranger
Bow Wow --------------------------- Black Ranger
Tara Reid --------------------------- Pink Ranger
Zhang Ziyi -------------------------- Yellow Ranger
Verne Troyer ------------------------ Alpha
Pierce Brosnan ---------------------- Ingishmunsharywup Dix III
Christian Bale ----------------------- Commander Kufyulllahginnf
Susan Sarandon --------------------- Rita Repulsa
Keifer Sutherland -------------------- Lord Zedd
Randy Savage ----------------------- Goldar
Kieran Culkin ----------------------- Skull
Patrick Renna ----------------------- Bulk
Mary Steenburgen ------------------- Mrs. Black
Joe Don Baker ----------------------- Principal
Vivian Nickles ----------------------- Teacher Throwing Up
Tripti Sen --------------------------- AP Calculus Teacher
Karina Dubiér ----------------------- Cheerleader
Gretchen Ostelfurder ----------------- Helga The Cafeteria Lady
Jake Lloyd -------------------------- Skater
Jonathan Taylor Thomas -------------- New Kid On The Block
Gilbert Gottfried --------------------- Voice Of Speicher
Chris Tucker ------------------------ Homeless Man
Ajay Naidu -------------------------- Newspaper Delivery Guy
Michael McShane --------------------- Rabbi Zachariah
Steve Guttenberg --------------------- Ted Stufuzio
Fred Black --------------------------- Neighbor # 1
Dylan Hut --------------------------- Neighbor # 2
Bonifa Guber ------------------------- Neighbor # 3
Jeremiah Frostwither ------------------ Disgruntled Neighbor
Billy Colgate ------------------------- Pilot
Amex Phillis ------------------------- Co-Pilot
Richard Griffith ----------------------- Air Traffic Controller
David Peddlewetter -------------------- Cop # 1
Bobby Castles ------------------------ Cop # 2
Nick Bandini ------------------------- Convict
Jonathan Frumpter -------------------- Prison Guard
Kathy Little -------------------------- Zoo Keeper
Joseph Schubert ---------------------- Mayor Chuck Smothers
Jeffrey Tazu -------------------------- Janitor
Gloria Tanner ------------------------- Trolley Operator
Aoi Yumiko -------------------------- Stenographer
Fred Jones --------------------------- Mafia Lord
Arturo Gatty ------------------------- Hitman # 1
Walter Romano ----------------------- Hitman # 2
Ikemefuna McGillicudy ----------------- Hitman # 3
Jacques Busby ------------------------ Disgruntled Hitman
Fats Ross ---------------------------- Bartender
Edgar G. Hornish ---------------------- Town Drunk
Tony O'Malley ------------------------ Brother Of Town Drunk
Bruce Lester -------------------------- Gay Guy
Leslie Gray --------------------------- Taxi Driver
Pauly Shore -------------------------- Fozy The Clown
Chester Smith ------------------------ Catcher
Josephine Mets ----------------------- FBI Agent Johnson
Mark Kushkov ------------------------ Construction Worker # 1
Robert Carlyle ------------------------ Construction Worker # 2
Zay Yuliei ---------------------------- Construction Worker # 3
Meg Pei ----------------------------- Horny Construction Worker
Henry Winkler ------------------------ Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli
Macy Gray --------------------------- As Herself
Hillary Duff -------------------------- As Herself
Danny DeVito ------------------------ Lil Bitch
Oyster The Dog ---------------------- As Himself

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