how many dates? (original) (raw)

How many dates would you give somebody that you like but that you are not feeling a special spark towards before knowing for sure that the two of you are just friends and there is just no chemistry or romance?

I just went yesterday on a second date with a great person who is just my type and whom I get along great with. He is fantastic- but it did not feel any different than hanging out with a platonic male or female friend. I like him as a person, but I am not feeling anything different than what I do for any given friend or colleague.

With the previous person I dated before him, the chemistry was fantastic and we were very attracted to each other. But we were not compatible on a couple key areas- mainly his wanting to marry a housewifey ultra-girly quiet woman and to have a lot of kids with her.

How long does it take to know for sure? I will definitely give him a third date if he asks- but if it goes just like this one, I do not know if there should be a fourth one. About 4 years ago, I did go on 3 dates with someone with whom there was no chemistry either- and although he was a good person as well, the second date did go downhill due to his making some snarky remarks (not towards me, but in general) and because I objected to what he originally wanted to do (he wanted to come to my place to watch a movie, I did not feel comfortable so instead we just went out for ice cream and a drive and walk). But this guy is very nice and has no problem with my taking the lead.

So how long would you wait before realizing that you two are just friends? I wonder if it would be foolish to pass up this person too early- or if we truly are not meant for each other.