The Devil and Webster’s Dictionary (original) (raw)

Apparently a whole lot of people love the Devil, and most of them are poorly spelled. Did no one bother to proofread this before someone used it at a rally? Or are badly written signs just a tradition?

If they used spell check, people wouldn’t automatically know they were horrible. There’s no concern for parallel structure either, unless they actually mean that only one “evilutionist” and “Jehovah Witness” love the Devil. Also, Emo’s WHAT? His voice?

And they start out the list with a reference that I’ve yet to see anyone figure out. Was it specific to where they used this sign? All I can figure is that there’s a card you get from buying M&M’s, and people are counterfeiting them. Does anyone know where I can get one of these cards? There was a 7th Heaven episode where someone used “P.K.’s” to mean “preachers’ kids,” but why would they love the Devil? Jared Davis suggested it could mean Promise Keepers, a hyper-masculine conservative Christian organization that actually seems to have beliefs fairly similar to the ones promoted on the sign, but everyone knows people are often much harsher on those who think ALMOST the same as what they think. Beth said that “soup kitchen sinners” were probably people who do charity work just to be seen; I was imagining a homeless guy wearing a fake mustache in order to get a second helping. It’s nice that they’re not cool with racists or wife beaters (or husband beaters, for that matter), but they do appear to be pretty misogynistic otherwise. “Blood thirsty women”? No, sorry, the Maenads worship Dionysus, not Satan.

And really, ALL Democrats? Even the very devout ones like Jimmy Carter? Horoscope READERS? You don’t even have to believe them, just read them, to be hellbound? As for “sport nuts,” I’m not a fan of sports either, but that’s a little extreme. I can only assume “adulters” are people who use “adulting” as a verb, which is probably obnoxiously cutesy enough to be a sin. “Shak Up Sweety’s” might be a restaurant of some kind. Actually, if I’m being serious about that one, where did the idea of “shacking up” or “living in sin” even come from?

Isn’t it common in many cultures for a couple to live together before getting married? I guess it’s another example of the now-common line-in-the-sand view of marriage that likely didn’t exist in the culture that actually wrote the Bible.

I’d say there’s probably more commitment involved with living together than with marriage, which mostly just changes tax returns. You still have to put up with each other and find a way to make the finances work. There’s no threat of divorce, but isn’t there still the threat of being thrown out? And what about “hippy capalists”? Even ignoring the misspelling, does this mean they don’t have a problem with hippie communists, or non-hippie capitalists?

Or did they not mean “hippie,” like the peaceniks, but rather capitalists with big hips? Finally, I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger, but she ain’t messin’ with no broke Satan. And for the record, I don’t LOVE the Devil, but it can be hard not to root for the underdog.

This entry was posted in Christianity, Fundamentalism, Greek Mythology, Humor, Language, Mythology, Prejudice, Religion and tagged dionysus, maenads, marriage, misogyny, promise keepers, protest signs, satan, shacking up. Bookmark the permalink.