Oop? [poink] (original) (raw)

I counted everything today, during my break. We sell one hundred thirty-seven different products (for slicing), including twenty-one turkeys, fifteen hams (not including spiced hams, hot hams, prosciutto, etc), and forty kinds of cheese.

One of these days, I'm going to say as much to one of those customers who keeps coming in and asking for "a pound of ham, a pound of turkey, and a pound of cheese" and then getting belligerent when I try to wheedle specifics out of them.

Today, thankfully, I only had "I need a half a pound of turkey" but still. When I tried to get her to give me any information on what kind she might like, she said, "Well, I don't want turkey roll."

Well, that's fantastic! We don't carry that, so you don't have to worry. I still need to know what you do want, though.

Oh, and there are seven different roast beef items, five of which are "regular" roast beef (in other words, not Italian style). Specifying "regular roast beef" doesn't cut it.

And on the subject of different styles of meats and cheeses, there are four regular oven roasted turkeys if you don't count the low sodium options (if you do, it's seven), three smoked turkeys (plus two if you count low sodium and pepper-smoked), four cooked hams (plus one more low sodium), three plain baked hams (that's not counting honey, Virginia brand, or all natural options), three each of Genoa and hard salamis, three types of prosciutto, ten kinds of bologna (six regular, three beef, and one low sodium, plus a Lebanon bologna if you want to count that), three Buffalo chicken breasts, three liverwursts, three plain, mild white American cheeses (plus two sharp whites, two sharp yellows, three mild yellows, a low sodium white, a low fat white, and a white with peppers in it), seven Swiss cheeses (one domestic, one sharp imported, two lights, two laceys, and a baby), five provolones (one slightly smoked, one very sharp, the rest more or less normal), four regular cheddars (plus a peppadew, a horseradish, and a garlic cheddar), and two or three options for a number of other items.

It's okay to not know what you want, but I need somewhere to start. You can ask questions or try samples, if that works for you, or you can just decide you want the cheapest option or whatever's on sale, or whatever you like. Just... something.

For the sake of being thorough, items that we only have one of include: spiced ham, Canadian bacon, pancetta, cooked salami, olive loaf, P&P loaf, pepper loaf, dutch loaf, pork roll, head cheese, gouda, havarti, mozzarella, monterey jack, and pepperjack. A few flavors work as easy specifics too (though we have two maple and honey items, so at least finish with "ham" or "turkey"): rosemary ham, cajun turkey, chipotle turkey, brown sugar ham, honey barbecue chicken, di Parma prosciutto, and turkey ham.

(Yes, I have done a lot of counting today.)