wedding rants (original) (raw)

Hi, all... new here, and figured I'd take the opportunity to blow off some steam...

First, it's a small wedding... as in 28 including me, my fiance, the officiant, and children. The space is free (courtesy of his sister - it's the apt complex clubhouse), it's going to be a potluck reception (please, don't make funny faces, it's his family tradition), emailed invitations ('cause I'm a geek, lol), and it's not fancy dress, so it'll be under $500 total.

I don't want to do this anymore.

He says that he didn't want to do what I wanted for the wedding because he thought that it'd turn into a massive, messy production. I wanted the dress, printed invitations, an additional 10 people on the guest list, somewhere close to my house, and inexpensive decorations. Financially, I could have carried all of that (except the location) out of my own pocket. I'm not going to get any of that, because in the interests of preserving peace, I'm letting him have his way.

With less than four weeks to go, and virtually nothing accomplished, I want to scrap all the plans that have been made. I want to drop it down to he and I, my kids, the officiant, and two or three witnesses, and no goddamned party. That's it. But no, he doesn't want that either. He's insisting on having the potluck reception because he feels obligated to throw a party for his family. If I want any sort of order or nice presentation, I have to do it myself, and it feels like he's blocking me every way that he can, whether the current issue is financial, emotional, logistical, or whatever. (We're both very pigheaded people.)

He virtually accuses me of trying to make this into a production, while he's pushing me into doing it by insisting on the current plans. I'm frustrated, pissed off, irritated, and just downright scared. I'm tired of rolling over for him on this, but if I don't, things are going to get messy. I feel like I'm being forced into the role of a trained monkey performing for everyone else's benefit, and for me, that's horribly degrading. Ugh.

I see it getting to the point where it's not about me, even in the slightest degree. It's not my wedding; it's his family's wedding, if you know what I mean, and that's all because of him. A sheep could fill in for me and nobody would know the difference. *cries*

I have never been so miserable in my life.