Over-reactive parents (original) (raw)

Hey all, hope your winter/spring has been good. So I have a couple questions about over-reactive parents. Looooooong story short, I moved out from home to go to grad school and it turned out that the girls I had arranged to live with (I had known them as friends, and one had been my aide for 2 years) turned out to be terrible, controlling, and dramatic roommates. To give an example, one roommate routinely took me outside and lectured me about everything I did wrong. This kind of stuff was going on all the time and stressed me out so much I had to leave. So even though I signed the lease and am contractually obligated to pay it (the rent they give me was majorly discounted because they were over night aides), they are moving out early, leaving me to pay the entire rent even though I don't live there anymore. This is not the main issue- I can talk to the property manager and work something out so that I can hand the lease over to somebody else. The main problem is that one of my roommates (the former aide and 'lecturer') wrote me a very nasty email saying that she wanted to cut off all contact with me because our relationship was 'unhealthy' and I handled the communication poorly (by this she is referring to a time when I tried to reconnect with her after our fall out. When she demanded an apology but refused to admit any blame herself, I stopped corresponding with her about anything except the rent.). The email bugs me but what bothers me more is that she cc'd it TO MY MOTHER. That began a long conversation/lecture between my parents and I, and now my Dad has come to the conclusion that I have 'poor social skills' and no friends. This is obviously not true, but his idea is now getting in the way of me moving out of the house. He thinks I need to learn social skills before I can live on my own. My mom just thinks that these kinds of arguments are just things that are bound to happen in your 20's when you first try to live with other people. I agree with her, and I also agree that I could have handled myself better, but I just need to convince my dad that is not dire, and certainly shouldnt keep me from moving out. I have friends and good social skills but we all mess up, its just part of learning. My dad is usually the person who gives me the most freedom and the most benefit of the doubt., but since I moved back, my parents have flipped roles majorly. One question is how do I get him over his 'she has no social skills' kick. Yes, I'm 26 and can make my own decisions, but it would be sooooo much easier if I had him on my side.

My other problem is that regardless of what he thinks of my social skills, my dad has had this weird fantasy since I was like 9 that I could have this magical 24 hour 55 year old "live-in" that we wouldn't have to pay hardly anything (because she is an illegal immigrant) and who would serve as my night aide/housekeeper/cook/life-time companion (if you have seen the movie 'Gaby', this is what he based his fantasy off of). Besides it being impossible to find this magical person, I hate this idea and it goes against everything I want. It should be noted here that I actually will be hiring a housekeeper for three days a week to clean, do laundry, etc. But every time I mention hiring aides when I move, this idea comes up again and its getting sooooooo old. So, first of all, have you ever heard of a person having an employee like this working for them and succeeding? Second, how can I convince him that I'd be miserable if I spend 24 hours with the same person up my ass everyday? Finally, how can I convince him that I don't actually NEED a person like this and that I'm perfectly capable of hiring and scheduling my own aides (the fact that I have been doing this for 20 years does not seem to matter to him).

Any suggestions/ advise/ stories?

Thanks