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11:53 pm - The Stigma Behind Bariatric Surgery
Originally posted by 
missbittercup at The Stigma Behind Bariatric Surgery
Over the past few months I have noticed an increasing amount of mentions, opinions, good & bad articles regarding Bariatric Surgery. Being that I am 5 years Post-Op from Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass Surgery this is a subject that is very near and dear to my heart. There would appear to be more of a negative opinion when it comes to weight loss surgery. That being said; I am here to discuss this issue, because well, it pisses me off and I’m going to let you know about it.
I have been a big fat, all my life. Well, at least since I was 8... or something.
The curly, frizzy hair, jorts, and horizontal lined tank top sure as hell didn't help either...
Though I am blessed to say that I have and had a very close group of girls during my childhood/teenager years that I could always go to, it was nothing short of a nightmare growing up as "the fat ass" in grade school. In the seventh grade I was held down by high schoolers so that another girl repeatedly punched me in the head, only to end up going to the hospital. I remember running home from school nearly Every. Single. Day. to wash my hair before my mom got home. Why? Because it was dripping with green slimy phlegm from kids spitting in my hair the entire way home on the bus. And I just didn’t want momma to worry about me.
In school nobody knew me, but that didn't stop them from referring to me by the most genuine and heartwarming nicknames known to mankind. "Beastly." "Tub-a-lard." "Shovel Face." "Fatty." The word "Heffer" still makes me cringe to this day. High school was murder. I didn't fit in, except with my group of girls, which is alllll that I ever needed... but its not like we were in every class together. We could have "each other's back" at lunch, but that was about it. Thankfully I was accepted into an accelerated high school program in my junior year. Than I was able to leave the hell hole and went to a school where there were other oddballs, fatties, nerds, and geeks just like me. I left that school, and didn't look back. I still have a few individuals that I like to stay in contact with (that are outside my group of amazing girls) that went to that high school, but that’s it.
The lessons of grade school do stick with people for years and years. I am 29 years old and am STILL battling at times to find my voice and stick up for myself. I hate standing out. I am terrified of ridicule, and god forbid if I am in any confrontation. I will cry, at the drop of a hat. Even if it is over the dumbest shit possible. I am scared to death when it comes to knowing other people's opinions about me. I bend & break to avoid any negative atmosphere because that is what I was surrounded in for 8 hours straight every day at school.
I went off to Kentucky for college after high school. Although one of the reasons for leaving college was certainly due to the fact that they messed up my transfer royally (to the tune of 10k in one semester,) it was mainly due to the fact that I couldn't go out and meet people. Thank God for my roommate Bethany. If it wasn't for the fact that she was awesome and sweet.. I probably would have not unpacked.
I was fucking terrified of being hurt, over and over.
Because I am obsessed with food and at that time lacked self-control, I became obese. In our culture obesity has become the bane of existence. You are the (fat) butt of every joke. You are scrutinized by family, friends and strangers for every morsel of food you put in your mouth. Sometimes intentional, other times meant out of love. (Still sucked like hell even if it was out of love.) At times I would become bitter and eat out of spite. I think Fat Bastard said it best...
I left college and came home. Then I went to work in a kitchen. Because, hey, we know that I am qualified for that! And well... nom nom nom! 1 lb. after the next came along. I'd diet. I joined the gym, weight watchers and all of that. Yes, they did work! They absolutely worked. I cannot tell you how many times I would lose 20-35 lbs. But one mishap with a cookie and I’d gain 40 lbs. back. My weight came on easily. I would yo-yo like a champ when it came to my weight.
I "seemed" happy with myself, but on the inside I was screaming.
A short time later after returning home I started dating my Josh. This man is absolutely amazing. At the start there were
many
individuals that were skeptical of our relationship. Why? Josh was handsome, immensely charming, lean and mean... and a ladies' man. What was I?
Chunky with extra gravy.
I mean, why would he date me?! He could do better! People thought that he was taking advantage of me. Why else would he be there unless I was of any benefit? Truly, Josh came with
a lot
of baggage and had some serious demons in his closet. However it is in my opinion that the right person for you is the person that has demons that play nicely with yours.
It took a long time to fight off the negative perception of our relationship. But frankly it was the first time that I didn't care what anyone else "thought was going on." I knew he loved me from the start. If he wanted "better" he would have and could have got it.
True story: He has been hit on MANY times right in front of me. There was this one time (at band camp) at a restaurant that the waitress and another waitress kept coming to us and asking "what the big date" was about. "I mean, are you friends? Or is it a special occasion? What's going on here?"
Bitch. We sleep together. Naked. Go somewhere.
When I had made the decision to have bariatric surgery, there were many individuals that asked if I "was doing it for Josh?" Nope. I did it because I was miserable, lacked confidence and was gaining weight rapidly. Josh was with me as I gained almost 80 lbs. Trust me; if he wanted to pick up anchor and run off he would have a long, long time ago. Not once did he feel ashamed that I was a big girl that was getting bigger. He told me that he loved me every single day. I felt (and still do) the same love he had for me since the first day we met. He has loved me at all stages of fat: Fat, Fatter, and Fattest.
Truth be told, when I told Josh that I was going to have surgery he immediately stopped everything that he was doing, sat my ass down and straight up asked "are you doing this for me?" I said "no," that I was "doing it for myself. Because I’m done with being sad and I want to be the happiest for me... which in turn would make our relationship that much more awesome." His answer: "Good. If you said that you were doing it for me than I would tell you to not have the surgery."
Two weeks later, along with my mother, he was with me at my first consultation appointment at a Bariatric Clinic.
Okay... maybe I wanted it because Chloe wasn't growing fast enough for me to hide behind.
I started the process that took almost a year: monthly appointments along with therapy sessions and insurance hoop jumping. My doctors, family, friends and I would ask all of the time "are you sure you want to do this?"
I even had another “friend” that straight up wrote me a letter letting me know that I was a disappointment to her. That, I was a coward. “Why would you do that to your body? It is NOT natural. You just need to stop being lazy and work out!”
It's not that I couldn't lose the weight. I know that I had the ability. Hell I had lost a lot of weight, multiple times. The problem I was experiencing was that I would gain it back... so quickly. This starts the vicious cycle of depression. Than eating because you are depressed. Than being depressed because you just ate that.
I worked out! I wrote down everything that touched these puffy pink lips. I was in karate for years! My weight went up and down up and down.
I was tired of fighting, struggling, and crying.
I never mentioned to people that another reason that I struggled to lose weight is because I have PCOS. (Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) It’s a hormone imbalance that loves to tamper with your hunger pangs. I also never told people that if I didn’t lose weight, according to my MD, that being morbidly obese with PCOS I might as well not plan to have children. I want kids. I have two beautiful children in my life now. But, i want to know what it feels like to carry a little critter in my belly for 9 months. There is still a possibility that might not happen. Though I am sure even if I had laid this out for people I would still get scrutinized.
December 21st, 2009 was my surgery day. That surgery was intense. In-fucking-tense. I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a MACK truck. The surgery was 5 hours long. Later, I woke up in my room where I got to see my 'rents, and my Joshy. 2 hours later the 80 year old nurse's assistant from crotchety hell was waking me up to "go for a walk." I hated her but… I walked down the hall. I had to sit down at the very end of the hallway because I felt like I was going to pass out/vomit/die. Once back in my room my nurse was happily waiting with a muscle relaxer syringe full of godliness that she lovingly called "Nap time." "Nap time” and I became fast friends. It was called "Nap time" because within 3 minutes of it being administered, I was out cold.
Only to be woken 2 hours later by the crotchety-nurse’s-assistant-from-hell to go on a walk.
That bitch.
I was off of work for 3 glorious weeks. Sippin' my chocolate-y goodness protein shakes which went from "It tastes like okay-sugary-chalk," quickly to "if I had to imagine what ass tasted like, I'd guess this."
In my first month post-op I "only" lost 4 lbs. I almost lost my mind... "Did the surgery not work?"
Next month; I lost 25.
The next 10 months were the greatest “let-me-try-on-these-pants" months ever! One week a pair of pants would be way too small. 2 weeks later even wearing a belt with them resembled the tie around a garbage bag. Josh would laugh and smile and hug me whenever I would cry. I was crying simply because I was a 'size smaller."
I started to smile more. I was finishing up school and being confident at my job interviews. I was much happier. I worked out and I watched what I ate religiously.
I started letting people know when they sucked.
I had lost over 100 lbs...
So there is this stigma that Bariatric Surgery is "the short way" or the "coward’s way." It's a sign of weakness & laziness. I’m sorry, that's nothing short of bullshit.
Don’t get me wrong. Everyone should try to lose weight the "good ol'fashion way." Everyone has the ability to lose weight this way too. Just remember: nobody has the same struggle.
For me, it wasn't a quick fix. My stomach pouch is now my tool. Yes, I have lost an incredible amount of weight because of Bariatric Surgery. But, I still need to work out, watch what I eat and be mindful about my moods and the triggers to the want/need of eating a whole pecan pie. I’m still a fat kid at heart. My Bariatric Pouch is now the tool I use to help me live a healthier life. I have my good days, and my bad days... but I no longer "rebound" into an abyss of depression and Oreo cookies. It has given me the control that I absolutely needed to change my life for the better. I know in my heart that if I did not have Bariatric Surgery, I would easily have been 400 lbs. by now.
Since my surgery I’ve got a much .. much better job that allows a lot of potential. I’ve started my own business. I can ride rollercoasters at Cedar Point again! (I did experience the embarrassment of not being able to fit on a ride before.)
I got married... to my Joshy... the man that has loved me fully since the very beginning, while proudly wearing a size 14 wedding dress. (Not a size 28 that I used to wear.)
I smile more.. a lot more. I go out more. I spend more time... just being happy.
No. I did not lose weight "the natural way." I made a decision that was "naturally" the best thing for me. I did -not- take the quick way out. After enduring years of "Maybe it’s a thyroid problem?" tests, grade school torture, asshole adults, ridicule and "health tips" from skinny bitches that never-ever experienced the misery that is morbid obesity, I decided not to let life suck anymore.
Bariatric surgery is not a "weak person's way out."
I think it takes a strong individual to say that they need the help, and an even stronger individual to accept the help they need.
To the friends, family and strangers that supported me in and on this journey, God bless you. I love you. You are, the shit.
So, to those critics regarding weight loss surgery:
Screw you. I am a million times happier in my life, my confidence, my career, my marriage and my personal relationships. To try and rain on my parade simply makes you the asshole. Don’t you cut down or make someone feel inferior if they make the same decision. You do not wear their shoes. You know what is best for you and not anyone else.
If you have a problem with bariatric surgery; then don't have it.
Go eat a cookie. (And get me one too.) Dickhead.
With love and hostility,
Melissa
06:53 pm - New to community
Hi, y'all. I am new to the community (just joined last night).
I am considering WLS (leaning toward the sleeve but keeping my options open) because I weigh 348 lbs at 5'8" and I've tried and tried to lose weight and just don't seem to be able to. I've changed my diet, I've exercised, and I might lose 10 lbs or so, but it doesn't stay gone. I have no aspirations to be model-skinny, but I would love for the number on the scale start with a 1 and the number in the dressing room to be under 20. (Right now I wear a US 24-26.)
I'm going to an information seminar about WLS at a local hospital on Tuesday the 13th, so we'll see if they'll take my insurance and if this is even possible for me.
Right now, I'm just checking things out.
Thanks to the mods for creating and maintaining this community.
02:08 pm - Coming up on my first NEW birthday
Hello, Everyone! I was hoping you all could give me some advice.
I'm coming up on my 1yr anniversary on May 21st, and I have lost over 125 pounds. I'm 5'3-3/4" and now weigh 135 lbs and despite taking in plenty of calories, protein and fat each day* I can't stop losing.
Back in September of 2012 I was diagnosed with Guillian Barre Syndrome. Essentially it is an auto immune syndrome where my antibodies ate the outer coating of my nerves, then destroyed the inner parts of my nerves. I had to relearn how to walk and while I'm doing better (so much better) and out of the hospital (coming up on my 4 month anniversary of my discharge on the 10th), I know this had nothing to do with my surgery.
How do I know this? I take in a minimum of 70g of protein per day. I take 4 bariatric multi vitamin tablets per day, 2 over the counter regular vitamins per day, 2 bariatric calcium tablets per day, drink at least 2 full cups of milk per day, eat 3 square meals per day plus 3-4 snacks per day. I exercise to the best of my current ability, and before the GBS I was walking 2-3 miles per day with my dog, as well as doing weights and the treadmill. Now I take my dog for shorter walks, do pool therapy once a week for myself, do weights and machines as instructed by my physical therapists and on Sundays I rest and take it easy, only taking my dog for her daily potty walks. My bathroom habits are normal with a daily bm and of course I spend so much time during the day going wee ... my boss (who is my father) just laughs as I end up in the bathroom 2-3 times per hour for a wee. LOL. I drink a crap load of water and juice during the day.
Unfortunately I'm at a little bit of a war with my bariatric surgeon. He has insisted that I did this to myself (the GBS) and that my levels were low (this was in December of 2012 when I was readmitted for a flare up in the GBS), and that it was not GBS. What he did not know is that I have copies of all my blood work sent to me, and I found out later when I was released a month later that he was full of poo and NONE of my levels were low. I had 3 other doctor confirm that my levels were either mid range or at the higher end of acceptable ranges. I also have the top Neurologist in town (who is also a longtime family friend and who knows what is going on) tell me that I.DID.NOT.DO.THIS.TO.MYSELF. and that it is not vitamin deficiency. (he has also received copies of my blood work).
So ... my question to all of you is this:
How do I stop losing weight? I can't eat much more than I am, I can't take in too much more protein and even when I "Pig" out on unhealthy stuff, (chocolate or loading up on carbs) I can't seem to keep the weight to stick. I have lost 10lbs from February to now, and while that's not a lot I seriously am looking too thin. I really never thought I would say that. I wouldn't mind adding 5-10 lbs to my frame, and am contemplating ordering equine weight gain to do so (j/k), but if I could hold steady at this weight I would be just as happy.
I have blood work to get done in May and have to schedule an appointment with the surgeon in the same month. I really don't want to, but I know I have to and I will, it's just aggravating to do so when I know he is pulling an attitude with me.
So since I won't be going there for a month, can you all give me some advice? Words of wisdom? Tried and true fail proof methods?
Thanks for reading and thanks for any info!
*other than my protein I don't know exactly what I take in of fat and calories, but I eat a lot!*
03:50 pm - Hello Everyone
I am looking for someone that can be my RNY Gastric Bypass Buddy and I could also use a Buddy that has had their Gallbladder Removed because I am having a major rough time with my RNY Gastric Bypass which I had in July of 2012 and I am having a Rough Time with not Having a Gallbladder because I had My Gallbladder Removed in July of 2012- Like For Example: I am Having Out Of Control Diarrhea that Lasts All Day long that is not Getting Better at all. I am needing someone who has had RNY Gastric Bypass that uses Myfitness pal. I could also use an RNY Gastric Bypass Buddy. I have a lot of Questions about RNY Gastric Bypass and the Gallbladder having been removed. I would like someone that has had RNY Gastric Bypass and Has had their Gallbladder removed that can be my email pen pal and answer Short Questions like for example: do you have any Pets? Do you like Music? What Type of music do you like? I would also Like Someone who has had RNY Gastric Bypass that can help me have a Gift Card to Walmart so I can Get Jeans and Shorts because I have no Job and without a Job I have no money to buy Jeans and shorts. If you would like to be my gastric Bypass Diet Buddy , Having No Gallbladder Diet Buddy and email pen pal please email me at CHANNING28270@GMAIL.COM
Channing
03:49 pm - Hello Everyone-Gall Bladder Question
I am wondering if it is normal for someone who has had their Gallbladder Removed to have Accidents in the pants, the Food Move through the Digestive System rapidly, Off and On Tummy or Abdominal Cramps and Loose stools or Diarrhea all the time because I had my Gallbladder removed in July of 2012- If So is there a something to help with this at all?If You know the answers Please Message me.If you know the answers please email me at CHANNING28270@GMAIL.COM
Channing
11:28 am - WHY ARE PEOPLE SO NEGATIVE?
So I finally got my surgery date and I'm very excited. What I don't understand is why people have to be so negative about the surgery and a persons decision to have the surgery done. It seems to me that it's the people who know nothing about the surgery and only have bad things to say about what they've heard
GET CHO LIFE!!!
03:00 pm - EXCESS SKIN
So I was wondering, for those of you who have already had a weight loss surgery. How long do you have to wait to have the excess skin removed? The surgeon has already told me that if it's a problem that she would recommend a tummy tuck. But when I see the youtube video's I wonder why people aren't getting the skin removed.
11:01 am
Hi, I am new here. I was just browsing around trying to find and read stories about weight surgery. I am a candidate for the Sleeve, which might take place sometime in January. I am in the beginning stages now. I've been to and informational, met with the nurse practitioner and the surgeon and today I go my first visit to the psych doctor.
I'm excited about losing the weight and maintaining a normal blood pressure. I've been fighting the high blood pressure for years and I'm sure it won't go down because of my weight.
so before this post gets any longer. I look forward to reading updates on everyone and especially the pictures showing the wonderful results.
03:42 pm - tears in JC Penneys
So I was sleeved in July -
Today I had to take a pair of jeans back to the store for my husband. While I was there I tried on a pair of size 16 shorts - thinking "they're going to be really tight - but by next summer - they'll fit and I would have scored a bargain!"
Only they weren't tight.
They fit. nicely.
Holy shit.
I tossed on my own clothes and ran back out into the store and grabbed a two pairs of size 16 jeans.
The 'straight' pair - didn't fit of my toosh - but the 'skinny' pair did. I started to cry happy I can't believe it tears- and I looked good - ( if I do say so myself) no muffin ! I almost have my self talked into these electric pink pair of skinny jeans and then I notice... wow... I have a pronounced camel toe- and in these I have a pronounced electric pink camel toe.
So I put them back.
I ran to two other stores and tried on size 16 pants - just to be sure that this wasn't some sewing mistake.
I even found a great pair of gem tone purple jeans - sans toe, that I bought.