Family Science Living apart together: Longing for the couple, enjoying being single (original) (raw)
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Living apart together: Longing for the couple, enjoying being single
This study focuses on living apart together (LAT) partnerships in Belgium (Flanders) and uses semi-structured interview data from a sample of 54 LAT individuals aged 30–68 years to investigate the extent to which such unions are comparable to marriage with respect to five relationship dimensions: a couple dimension, an enterprise dimension, a value dimension, a role dimension and a form dimension. Although key relationship values put LAT on an equal footing with marriage, our findings indicate that transitional LAT partnerships exhibit far greater similarities to a marital relationship than permanent LAT partnerships in terms of perceptions of coupledom, joint enterprise and partners’ roles and responsibilities within the union. These similarities with marriage again diminish as the form dimension is taken into account.
Advances in Life Course Research
The non-institutionalised, flexible nature of living-apart-together (LAT) raises questions about partner commitment in the context of the debate about the individualisation of society. We explored how partner commitment in LAT relationships in the Netherlands is shaped by individuals' satisfaction with, alternatives to, investments in and social support for their relationship. The underlying theoretical framework is an extended version of the Investment Model of Commitment. We conducted 22 semi-structured, in-depth interviews with men and women. The major themes that were addressed in the analysis were commitment, satisfaction, alternatives, investments, social support, relationship history and future plans. Participants were emotionally highly attached to their partner, but they doubted their commitment to maintaining their relationship in the future. Satisfaction with the current partner and intrinsic investments, such as emotions and effort, were described as contributing the most to feelings of commitment. Social support, quality of alternatives and extrinsic investments, such as material ties, were felt to contribute the least. Relationship history and life experience played an important role in how middle-aged and older individuals, of whom many were divorced, perceived the four determinants and experienced commitment. In this context, the LAT arrangement expressed fear of commitment and getting hurt, which was further reflected in limited investments. The paper concludes that although emotional attachment appears to be high among people in LAT relationships, they may have a relatively limited belief and interest in lifelong partnerships. 1. Introduction Partner relationship arrangements have diversified profoundly in many western countries since the 1960s. Amongst other phenomena, this diversification revealed itself in a rise in unmarried cohabitation, divorce and extramarital childbirth (Lesthaeghe, 2010), and in the increased prevalence or visibility of living-apart-together (LAT) relationships (Carter,
2020
Drawing on a European cross-national biographical-narrative study of intimate life, this paper discusses the complexity of experiences of "togetherness" and "apartness" amongst people in living apart relationships. We explore the five main ways in which interviewees spoke about and understood their current living apart relationships (as chosen; temporary; transitional; undecided; and unrecognizable), which we argue suggests the need for a broader conceptualisation of this form of intimate relationship than is suggested by the established notion of "living apart together". The paper points to the varying experiences of receiving or being denied recognition and acceptance by others as belonging to a couple, as well as to the differing degrees of desire for, or rebellion against, expectations that living apart relationships should "progress" towards cohabitation.
Living Apart Relationships in Contemporary Europe: accounts of togetherness and apartness
2014
Drawing on a European cross-national biographical-narrative study of intimate life, this paper discusses the complexity of experiences of “togetherness” and “apartness” amongst people in living apart relationships. We explore the five main ways in which interviewees spoke about and understood their current living apart relationships (as chosen; temporary; transitional; undecided; and unrecognizable), which we argue suggests the need for a broader conceptualisation of this form of intimate relationship than is suggested by the established notion of “living apart together”. The paper points to the varying experiences of receiving or being denied recognition and acceptance by others as belonging to a couple, as well as to the differing degrees of desire for, or rebellion against, expectations that living apart relationships should “progress” towards cohabitation.
Living Apart Together and Money: New Partnerships, Traditional Gender Roles
Journal of Marriage and Family, 2014
Drawing on qualitative interview data from a sample of 54 men and women engaged in living apart together (LAT) partnerships in Belgium (Flanders), this study explored the organization and exchange of money in LAT arrangements. The data showed that the heterogeneity of LAT partnerships is reflected in couples' monetary behavior, with couples who foresee cohabitation (transitional LATs) showing more marriage-like exchanges of financial support than those who perceive living apart together as a more permanent arrangement (permanent LATs). The economic position of the partners and the importance attached to economic independence and breadwinning mediate the impact of future expectations on the financial practices of LAT couples. The data also showed that traditional notions of gender and coupledom continue to be strongly influential, even in nontraditional types of partnerships.
Practices and perceptions of living apart together
Family Science, 2014
This paper examines how people living apart together (LATs) maintain their relationships, and describes how they view this living arrangement. It draws on a 2011 survey on LAT in Britain, supplemented by qualitative interviewing. Most LATs in Britain live close to their partners, and have frequent contact with them. At the same time most see LAT in terms of a monogamous, committed couple, where marriage remains a strong normative reference point, and see living apart as not much different from co-residence in terms of risk, emotional security or closeness. Many see themselves living together in the future. However, LAT does appear to make difference to patterns of care between partners. In addition, LATs report advantages in terms of autonomy and flexibility. The paper concludes that LAT allows individuals some freedom to manoeuvre in balancing the demands of life circumstances and personal needs with those of an intimate relationship, but that practices of LAT do not, in general, represent a radical departure from the norms of contemporary coupledom, except for that which expects couples to cohabit.
Living Apart Relationships (LARs): meanings of togetherness and apartness
Drawing on a European cross-national biographical-narrative study of intimate life, this article discusses the complexity of experiences of ‘togetherness’ and ‘apartness’ amongst people in living apart relationships. We explore the five main ways in which interviewees spoke about and understood their current living apart relationships (as: chosen; temporary; transitional; undecided; and unrecognisable), which we argue shows the need for a broader conceptualisation of this form of intimate relationship than is suggested by the established notion of ‘living apart together’. The article points to interviewees’ varying experiences of receiving or being denied recognition and acceptance by others as belonging to a couple, as well as to their differing degrees of desire for, or rebellion against, expectations that living apart relationships should ‘progress’ towards cohabitation.
Living Apart Together: uncoupling intimacy and co-residency
2013
Over a fifth of those normally classified as "single" are actually in a relationship but not living with their partner-which is 9% of adults in Britain. This sizeable minority has only recently been recognized by social researchers, even though people have long been having relationships without moving in together. In the context of increasing attention to the diversity of ways in which people live and love outside the conventional family, understanding "living apart together" (LAT) relationships is vital for policy-makers, practitioners and researchers who are concerned with couples, families, and individual well-being today. This briefing paper presents the findings of the most comprehensive study of living apart together in Britain to date. A multi-method study The study, conducted in 2011-12, used three complementary methods in order to gain a thorough understanding of living apart relationships: • A quantitative representative national survey of 572 people in LAT relationships 1 , which focused on their social characteristics, motivations, attitudes and how they organise their relationships. • Qualitative semi-structured interviews with 50 people in LAT relationships (drawn from the representative national sample), in which they were asked about their experiences, beliefs, understandings and everyday relationship practices in more detail. • Psychosocial biographical narrative interviews with 16 people who are in LAT relationships (drawn from the representative national sample) which explored their life and relationship histories and personal meanings in greater depth, placing the current LAT relationship in the context of the rest of their lives.
Living Apart Together (LAT) and Law: Exploring Legal Expectations Among LAT Individuals in Belgium
Social & Legal Studies, 2013
This article focuses on individual perceptions of the legal protection afforded to living apart together (LAT) partners in Belgium. Drawing on semi-structured interviews with 54 individuals engaged in an LAT partnership, this study explores the meaning LAT individuals attach to their union and investigates the relationship between their understanding of their relationship, their legal expectations and views on legal reform. Our findings indicate that, in Belgium, LAT individuals do not expect marriage-like family law legal provisions within their union. On the other hand -given the nature of their relationship -LAT individuals believe they should be granted the same family-based benefits as those enjoyed by their cohabiting or married counterparts. A differential between LAT-individuals' legal expectations and views exists according to their socioeconomic status. Relationship expectations play a role as well, albeit indirectly, with transitional and undecided LAT individuals being somewhat more concerned about legal issues than individuals in permanent LAT arrangements.
Ambivalence and Living Apart Together in Later Life: A Critical Research Proposal
Journal of Marriage and Family, 2017
Most unattached older persons who would like an intimate partnership do not want to remarry or be in a marriage-like relationship. A growing trend is to live apart together (LAT) in an ongoing intimate relationship that does not include a common home. We address the debate about whether LAT constitutes a new form of intimate relationship in a critical assessment of research on LAT relationships that applies ambivalence and concepts from the life course perspective. We conclude that among older but not younger adults, LAT relationships are generally a stable alternative to living with a partner, negotiated in the context of current social institutions and arrangements. We propose research questions that address later life living apart together as an innovative alternative intimate relationship. We encourage comparative work on the unique challenges of later life living apart together, their implications for other family ties, and their connection to social and cultural arrangements.