Fathers and Sons: An Autoethnographic, Performative Reflection on Trauma, Bereavement and Transformation (original) (raw)

Voicing Trauma and Truth: Narratives of Disruption and Transformation, 2013

Abstract

Just before Sam died, his son Peter travelled from his home in Hawke's Bay, New Zealand, to conduct some preliminary research with his son Oliver who lives in Leeds, Great Britain. With Peter's interests in loss, post-traumatic growth and transpersonal experiences and Oliver's in theatre making, performance and pedagogy they began to discover that they share much common ground. Shortly after their time together Peter travelled to Moscow to deliver a paper on Hamlet. What follows is a weaving of the thoughts and recollections of three generations of men touched by loss, trauma and grief. First presented in 2011 in Prague, the Czech Republic, this text was originally conceived as a palliative response to Sam's death in England a year earlier. In this new text we allow our curiosity to continue exploring those traumatic wounds that have had, for better or for worse, such a significant impact upon our lives as a father and a son. In expressing some of our loss experiences we begin to understand that our lives, people's lives, far from the normal, predictable and humdrum are essentially and powerfully unique. Bearing and baring the scars of life's seemingly random and unconscionable wounding, the legacy of lives fully lived, we share the paradox of these unwanted but necessary losses. We discover that traumatic events are significant opportunities for individuals to start again, to reassemble and re-learn their lives, make important changes, and take on the challenge of a world that has fundamentally changed, become less predictable and comfortable, and more difficult to manage.

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