Growing men: reflections from South African feminist mothers on raising black sons in highly racialised contexts (original) (raw)

In a society like South Africa in which inequality and injustice has both deep historical roots in race-based legislation, and where lingering material and symbolic effects of racism impact on the daily lives of people who are ‘raced’ as black (drawing on the black consciousness definition of all those who are oppressed on the basis of their perceived racial category), and one which follows global patterns of patriarchy, how do feminists approach raising their boy children in ways that help them deal with the impacts of, and defy the constraints of dominant social narratives of blackness and masculinities? This paper assumes that mothers who identify as feminist are interested in transgressing and transforming these social relations of inequality, and explores their backgrounds, impetus, understandings, desire for and strategies of raising ‘different men’. Six women who self-identify as feminist mothers who are involved in raising boys were sourced through social networks and a snowball sampling methodology. In depth, qualitative narrative unstructured interviews were recorded and transcribed for computer aided coding and analysis. Drawing on grounded and narrative approaches to analysis, which include incorporating theoretical insights from literature around feminist mothering, intersectionality, race, class, gender and an understanding of the South African context, a number of key themes emerged from the data. Dealing with racism was a real and present experience for all of these mothers, and their sons. Many were also deeply concerned about the constraining narratives of masculinities, and are working and thinking actively about mothering in ways to mediate the very strong social influences that structure these meanings. Some chose to try and shield their sons as much as possible, others used every experience as an opportunity for ‘engaged conversations’ to assist their sons in thinking critically. All made deliberate choices about the kinds of social and school spaces their son’s moved through in order to expose them to alternatives to dominant narratives, and all mothers emphasised the necessity of building a solid sense of self in their children. These mothers in many ways echo the themes present in literature around intensive mothering, with an added dimension of shouldering the burden of assisting their sons navigating a society which is often hostile to them. Despite the tensions inherent in this work of mothering, and the hardships, all displayed some level of hope or idealism about what could be possible for our society if their sons were raised in ways that crossed and defied social boundaries, and in some senses viewed their work as ‘a grand experiment’ working toward a socially just society.