I was born with HIV - I'm pregnant and won't pass disease on (original) (raw)

In an inspiring turn of events, Joseph Kibler, a 35 year old who was born with HIV, is set to become a father without the risk of transmitting the disease.

Growing up after contracting HIV from his mother, Kibler faced significant challenges; he learned of his condition at the age of 10 by accident during a doctor's visit, a secret he closely guarded throughout his childhood due to stigma.

His twin brother John tragically passed away at just 16 months old from pneumonia complications, but Joseph fought on.

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Despite facing difficulties in dating where his status would often cause panic, Joseph found stability in antiretroviral therapy (ART), which renders his HIV levels "undetectable" effectively preventing transmission.

In March 2020, fortune smiled upon him when he met Carey Cox, a 34 year old actress and writer and their romance blossomed.

The couple married this May and recently received the joyous news that they are expecting their first child together in July 2024.

Joseph, also an actor and writer from New York City, US, shared his overwhelming emotional response: "I burst into tears when we got the news that we were expecting."

He reflected on the profound impact of the news, saying, "For me, it felt like breaking a cycle, it gave us a chance to start fresh."

Kibler expressed a sense of release and readiness to enter a new phase alongside his wife, commenting, "All that stuff that I had dealt with and held onto was washing away."

Looking forward to the future, he added, "It felt like a weight was lifted and I could get into a new chapter of my life with my beautiful wife."

At just 10 years old, Joseph discovered his HIV positive status.

His mother had to break the news that she had passed on the disease, meaning Joseph and his twin, who tragically died at 16 months from pneumonia complications, were both born with HIV.

Joseph revealed: "My mum gave it to me and my twin brother - who died at 16 months due to complications with pneumonia."

"She wasn't aware of her HIV positive status until illnesses began affecting my brother and I."

Joseph recalls being advised by his mum to keep his condition under wraps owing to the prevalent stigma during the mid-90s, stating: "It was the mid 90s, kids were being bullied and getting kicked out of school for being HIV positive."

Compounded by exclusion in social settings, he added: "Kids were being barred from playing with one another."

The gravity of his diagnosis hit home within a week as Joseph mentioned: "It was very scary - a week after finding out we were studying HIV and the death rates at school."

Navigating relationships proved particularly challenging for Joseph, who feared uncertain reactions when disclosing his HIV status until Carey came into his life.

The duo connected in March 2020 via a talent agency for disabled actorsJoseph has cerebral palsy, and Carey lives with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS).

They found common ground in their disabilities and the shared experience of sibling lossCarey having lost a brother in 2006 and a sister in 2013.

Joseph confided: "Usually the conversation had been hard for me, trying to date I went through a series of different disclosures in figuring out the right way to tell someone."

"The hardest thing for me was connecting with someone, getting to know them and then disclosing that I am HIV positive and them not being OK with it."

"That process kept getting faster and faster to the point that I would tell people very early on in the relationship."

"Carey knew from the start of knowing me that I was HIV positive - before we even entered into a relationship it was known."

When they first crossed paths, Joseph was residing in Los Angeles while Carey had moved to New York City after landing a role in The Glass Menagerie on Broadway.

The couple would frequently travel to see each other until Joseph decided to return to his birthplace, New York City.

In August 2022, Joseph made a trip to the airport to collect Carey and took the opportunity to propose.

Joseph shared: "I proposed when Carey got off the plane and into my car, I would always try to show up with coffee for her."

"I got an empty coffee cup and put the ring inside."

"When she got off the plane she thought it was an empty cup and then I popped the question."

The duo legally tied the knot in Manhattan, New York City, in May 2023 with their mothers as witnesses, followed by a grand celebration in Savannah, Georgia, in September 2023.

Carey recalled: "When he popped the question, I felt silly for not realising the ring was in the cup and then we were very happy."

"We knew it was in the stars."

"Our mums were able to fly out and join us for the legal wedding, and then we had about 30 of our nearest and dearest come out to Georgia."

In a delightful turn of events in July 2024, Carey and Joseph found out they were expecting their first child together, with the babys gender still a surprise and the arrival expected in spring 2025.

The news came as an unexpected joy as the couple didn't anticipate parenthood would come so swiftly for them.

Carey shared: "Going into the relationship I knew about HIV and that if Joseph was undetectable then we would be able to have a child who was HIV negative."

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He recalled Joseph asking him about his understanding of HIV, saying "When Joseph approached the topic he asked if I knew about HIV and I did."

They had talked about their dreams of parenting, with Carey reflecting, "We spoke about wanting children and wanting a family, we thought it was going to take a long time for us."

Initially, there were concerns that their child could inherit EDS, but after seeking medical advice, Carey and Joseph were reassured it was safe to proceed with their plans to start a family.

Joseph chimed in with health updates, explaining: "We had consulted our doctors and I am going to them every three months to make sure I am undetectable."

Responding to those who queried their decision to become parents, Joseph firmly said "To those who have expressed concern about our decision to have children, we counter that while being pro-choice, we also believe in the value and importance of disabled life."

He elaborated on their perspective, highlighting "Especially when risks to a child are minimal and manageable in light of tremendous medical advances, our involvement in disability pride and disability justice has reassured us of a high quality of life for our child and the ability to thrive."