Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps characters - British Comedy Guide (original) (raw)

Character guide

Donna Henshaw

AKA: Donna Henshaw; Donna Wilkinson. Played by: Natalie Casey

Donna is loud, brassy and sarcastic. She's got quite the temper on her, and will readily argue with anyone and everyone - and is often frustrated by the lack of ability of both herself and those around her.

After many ups and downs, she finally got married to Gaz - although, much to Gaz's disgust, she was not actually very excited about the wedding.

However, when Gaz's libido got the better of him, the couple ended up divorcing. Donna moved to London, but returned shortly after with a new boyfriend, Wesley.

What exists of Donna's caring, nurturing side has come out since Gaz's accident and disability onset. She's now a HR manager, but in the past has worked as a bucket salesman, bought out Gaz's Dad's garage, been a student, and of course been unemployed.

Gary 'Gaz' Wilkinson

Gaz is a stereotypical 'lad' whose life revolves around sex, beer, sex, football and er... more sex.

He works as a mechanic at Brindley Autos, which was the scene of his mission to become 'fit' again after gaining weight when splitting from Donna. His exercise regime was somewhat ... unique.

After enjoying a fairly on-off relationship with Donna, the two finally committed and got married, even though Gaz found out he was "firing blanks". However, the happy couple split soon after Donna discovered he'd had a fling with Janet and was in fact the father of her child.

Gaz spent some time living as a family with Janet and baby Corinthian, but came to realise that Donna was his true love. Unfortunately, a terrible car accident left him in a coma and then wheelchair-bound.

Janet (Series 1-8)

AKA: Janet Keogh / Janet Smith. Played by: Sheridan Smith

With scrunched-back hair and unflattering, ill-fitting tracksuits making up almost the entirety of her wardrobe, it wouldn't be unfair to describe Janet as 'Queen of the Chavs'.

However, at heart, she's a family girl and loves long-term boyfriend Jonny deeply. When a tragic and bizarre accident leaves him dead and her a single mother, she's distraught beyond belief, and struggles to accept that the one-night stand with Gaz that ended his marriage to Donna, also produced baby Corinthian.

Following one too many broken hearts, bad memories and failed jobs, Janet's now moved to begin a new life in Milton Keynes.

Louise (Series 1-8)

Louise is loud, snobbish, annoying and always demands to be the centre of attention.

Just about tolerated by Janet and Donna, she consistently dreams up harebrained schemes to try and ensure the focus remains firmly on her - and in one fit of revenge and guilt complex, she changes Jonny's government records to show that he is an armed criminal, which soon leads to the biscuit-lover being shot by armed policemen.

As Louise grows older, but no maturer, it becomes more apparent that drama seems to seek her out, rather than be something she necessarily creates: how will she cope, for example, when discovering that she is not only adopted, but that her natural father is gay - and wears socks with sandals?

After having a fling with Donna's younger brother, Dion, Louise had a baby of her own. Just how will the most self-centred member of the group cope with being a single mother? Obviously, she'll run off and join a moon cult...

Jonny Keogh (Series 1-6)

Jonny was a man who enjoyed the simple things in life - spending quality time with his wife Janet and son Corinthian, putting the world to rights with Gaz in The Archers and, above all, partaking in the fine art of eating biscuits (in particular the Jammy Dodger).

Almost constantly unemployed, Jonny enjoyed daytime television and was completely devoted to Janet, even forgiving her for having a one night stand with his best mate Gaz. Sweet and loyal, it could be argued that he had a strong feminine side. Whatever you did though, you didn't call him gay as he then wasn't responsible for his actions!

Jonny died in 2007 after he won a competition to go shark-jumping in Hawaii.

Tim (Series 7-9)

AKA: Timothy Claypole. Played by: Luke Gell

Timothy Claypole is the camp manager at The Archer pub. Although clearly gayer than Elton John, he maintained that he was happily married to a rugby-playing wife named Helena. In Series 9 he finally came out as a gay man, but is still troubled by his sexuality and often wonders whether splitting up with Helena was the right thing to do.

He's tried turning The Archer into a theme pub on a few occasions, but the most success he had was by placing a single, framed photo of the object of the theme - John Barrowman - behind the bar. In a desperate attempt to bring in a younger crowd, Tim's added a few modern lighting strips to the bar and has the widescreen television playing music channels rather than sport.

Cassie (Series 9)

Cassie's a complicated character. At heart, she's quite sweet and just wants to be loved, but also has a wild, mean streak that often gets her into trouble: we meet her fresh from serving a sentence in a Young Offenders' Institution.

Somewhere between a goth, rocker and an emo, Cassie is Tim's younger sister. He's forced to let her stay in his upstairs flat after learning she's otherwise sleeping in an alley. Cassie's delighted - especially when she finds out that an old school-mate and crush, Billy, is a regular at The Archer.

Desperate for Billy to notice her, she resorts to some rather unusual tactics, with a little help from Tim, of course.

Billy (Series 9)

Billy's an 'interesting' character: he arrives from the council to work with Gaz as a carer, but instantly gets up his patient's nose with his metrosexual ways - notably, by constantly calling Gaz 'babe'.

He eventually wins Gaz round with a delicious cheese toastie, but with money tight Donna and Gaz struggle to pay his small wage.

Aside from his caring side, Billy longs to be a professional footballer - although when he starts to fall for bad girl Cassie, he struggles to keep his skill in the game.

Munch (Series 3-5 & 7)

AKA: "Munch" Wilkinson. Played by: Lee Oakes

Munch (whose real name we still don't know) is the long-lost half-brother of Gaz. He's a bit of a "yogurt" and is not allowed to hang around people too much. He'd love to find a girlfriend but is the sort of bloke who normally has to make do with the girl with sick on her at the end of a Friday night!

Munch disappeared during series five, but returned in series 7 claiming to have found God whilst in Birmingham.

Flo Henshaw (Series 1-3)

Floella Henshaw was Donna's mum. She was the thinking man's strumpet who loved sex, sex and more sex! She also liked to stand in front of the window naked, and the word "valves". When she was a girl she used to amuse herself by painting giant willies on toilet doors!

Flo was killed in a traffic accident, and left all of her possessions - including her house - to Donna in her will.

Wesley (Series 8)

Wesley Presley is the somewhat 'wet' boyfriend Donna brought, somewhat reluctantly, to Runcorn from 'that London'

He struggles to give up his "iPhone lifestyle" to be with Donna, but gives it his best shot, acquiring a market stall (selling grapes, "two for a pound"), and trying incredibly hard to fit in with the friends' northern ways.

Kelly (Series 5-6)

Former barmaid of The Archer, Kelly provided the older men among the clientele with all the fun and exercise they would ever need: she regularly took them down to the cellar to exchange some STIs!

Kelly's priorities change for a while when Gaz became single. In fact, she adopted Donna's whole look and persona to try and win his affections. When that didn't work, she returned to the men that needed her most - the sad old regulars in the pub.

David (Series 3)

In Series 3, squeaky, loud-mouthed attention-seeker Louise acquired a secret admirer. He turned out to be David Fish, a weedy, geeky boy from school who had somehow - much to Louise's amazement - grown into quite the "spunk". Plus, he had a funny accent.

That funny accent could have just had something to do with living in Melbourne for the past eight years...

Kate (Series 4)

Kate was a temporary barmaid at The Archer. She became Jonny's new girlfriend after he had split up with Janet.