posers (original) (raw)
Decibel Magazine has miraculously erased three decades worth of credibility by posting the most embarrassingly tearful editorial that metal journalism has ever seen. It is impossible to read damn the thing without formulating the mental picture of a balding, big breasted obese man in his 40s watching CNN with his even more obese tattooed wife as both cry their eyes out at the far-left propaganda being spewed out at them.
Tags: beta-male journalism, CNN, death, death metal, Decibel Magazine, gun control, gun grab, guns, mainstream, March for Life, metal, metal journalism, midlife crisis, murder, posers, social justice warriors, soyboys
Grammy-award wining artist Watain has shamelessly assumed the mantle of “most embarrassing band masquerading as black metal” previously shared by Dimmu Borgir and Cradle of Filth. Where the downfall of those two bands was an overdose of gothic and groove influences, Watain has managed to outdo both in both parody and bastardization of black metal with their previous album’s venture into country musical territory. With a career built on celebrity guest spots from more capable underground metal musicians, necrophiliac 1st era Bathory Worship mixed with a second rate attempt to mimic Dissection’s concluding album, and a ridiculously cartoonist theatrical performance worthy of a Broadway musical, Watain’s legacy has been secured to forever be “the band that bent over farthest to inherit the phallus of commercialization the deepest” and has effectively decimated any hope of legitimacy the sub genre might have had in the post-90s. With a brash new attestation in the form of Trident Wolf Apocalypse the truth could not possibly be more clear to any listener with knowledge of black and death metal: Watain are the biggest joke in all of black metal history.
Tags: 2010s, 2018, bad music, Black Metal, Broadway Musicals, carnival, cash grab, clowns, crap, defecation, feces, hipsters, mayhem, metal, poop, posers, revenge, shit, Trident Wolf Eclipse, watain
Hipster and poseur blood must be shed!
Tags: 2017, attic, bandcamp, black 'n roll, boris, cavernlight, converge, couch slut, crypto-indie, death 'n' roll, death yell, deathcore, encoffination, Father Befouled, green druid, heresiarch, hipster bullshit, impalers, impetuous ritual, incantation, jute gyte, khazaddum, khemmis, mathcore, metalcore, mutoid man, necrot, one master, palmistry, posers, poseurs, pyrrhon, sadistic metal reviews, scenesters, sempiternal dusk, spirit adrift, stoner rock, tchornobog, walpyrgus, wrest
Muert are another one of those funderground bands pretending to play black metal.
Tags: 2017, beer metal, crossover thrash, funderground, hammerheart, hammerheart records, muert, posers, poseurs, rehash, review, thrash metal
Article by Linus Douglas.
As these Observer posers speed past 2017’s halfway point, they present a selection that is indeed a dumpster fire representative of the shit pool that their mainstream metal listening provides them with. Only those who need to be eradicated (rapists, communists, child molesters, serial killers, hipsters, etc.) genuinely think that stoner rock and boring, slow heavy rock bands are examples of heavy metal. Their piss-poor “culling” (badass, huh?) from the “metal cauldron” of mee-maw’s recipes was as follows:
Tags: 2017, AIDS, artificial brain, aseethe, brandon seabrook, cinema cinema, endon, GRID, hipster idiocy, john frum, kelly moran, luminous vault, metalcore, observer, poser metal, posers, poseur metal, poseurs, sadistic metal reviews, screamo, stoner rock, techdeaf, tek-deth, toby dive
Review contributed by Jon Browning.
Whoredom Rife are exactly what is wrong with modern “underground” “metal”. All these posers do is take a bunch of riffs from records over twenty years old, chop them up, and randomly attach a few of them together to make… a track.
Tags: black 'n roll, dommedagskvad, funderground, melodeaf, metalcore, modern metal, norway, poser metal, posers, poseur metal, poseurs, rehash, review, scenesters, terratur possession, terratur possessions, trash, trends mosh core fun, whoredom rife
Reviews contributed by Norma Angelina Dagostino.
Tags: Abigor, aluk todolo, black 'n roll, crypto-indie, diapsiquir, drastus, elend, funeral mist, hipster bullshit, hipster invasion, hipster music, homoeroticism, homosexuality, ihsahn, kathaaria, malign, marquis de sade, metalcore, nihil nocturne, norma evangelium diaboli, poser metal, posers, poseur metal, poseurs, rebirth of nefast, sadistic metal reviews, scenesters, screamo, shit
Hipster screamos Wolves in the Throne Room released a new track and music video from their upcoming album Thrive Woven, which releases September 15th, 2017 on Artemisia Records.
Tags: artemisia records, black 'n roll, crap, crypto-indie, emo, hipster bullshit, music video, poser metal, posers, poseur metal, poseurs, riff salad, screamo, upcoming album, upcoming release, wolves in the throne room
Sadistic Intent seem to be playing sets at every iteration of the Deathfest series of festivals as of late.
Tags: california deathfest, dead congregation, diocletian, festivals, maryland deathfest, merciless, news, nunslaughter, oakland, pissgrave, poser metal, posers, poseur metal, poseurs, sadistic intent, samael, siege, sjws, social justice warriors, trends mosh core fun, \
Metal interview blog Bardo Methodology interviewed Nuclear War Now! Productions owner Yosuke Kinishi earlier this week about his motivations for starting his mostly war metal label. Konishi spoke about his mild misanthropy, veganism, “die hard” edition cash grabs, and how most war metal bands (presumably on his label) fail to live up to the social Darwinism they spout.
Tags: bardo methodology, Crossover, crossover thrash, false, false metal, funderground, hipster, hipster bullshit, hipster idiocy, hipster invasion, homosexuality, interview, Japan, metalcore, modern metal, narcissism, nostalgia, nuclear war now! productions, nwn, NWN/FMP, poser, poser metal, posers, poseur, poseur metal, poseurs, thrash metal, trends mosh core fun, veganism, War Metal, yosuke konishi, yukio mishima