When the Purple Parrots Would Have Done Better by AlecBorden1014 on DeviantArt (original) (raw)

People may give the Purple Parrots crap for having the fewest appearances in Olmec's Temple, but there are seven episodes where they should have gone in the temple instead of the team they failed to beat in the temple games.

1. The Golden Cricket Cage of Khan: Who's not surprised by this? With how inept Silver Snakes John and Tia were in the temple, there's no doubt that any team on Legends of the Hidden Temple would have done better than these two. In that horrendous shitfest, only four rooms were covered in three minutes of given time (Cave of Sighs, Wall Climb, Throne Room, Heart Room). Boo.
   2. The Lucky Pot-Bellied Pig of Amelia Earhart: Until the third temple game, the Purple Parrots were doing a whole lot better than the Blue Barracudas in this episode. However, Blue Barracudas Scott and Kristin still had a weak pre-Temple Run performance (Moat: Purple finished second while Blue finished fourth; Steps: Purple made it all the way down before Blue could give a correct response; Games: 1. Purple almost beats Blue / 2. Blue easily loses to Purple / 3. Purple accidentally let Blue win). After such a weak performance in the Moat, Steps of Knowledge and Temple Games, Kristin finishes the episode by moving sluggishly on a long route to the artifact's room. When the second temple guard emerged, Scott didn't have any time to go in the temple. Basically, the temple team consisted of one player who does all the work to get to the temple and another who finishes the episode on a sour note.
   3. The Crown of Queen Nzinga: This temple team clearly had no excuse for missing an obvious half pendant, which was in the Swamp. Red Jaguars Benjamin and Renee had an easy temple setup, but they both moved too slowly and Renee easily kills the chance of making it to the artifact's room by trying to find a key in one of the trees after missing the half pendant. Had the Purple Purple Parrots won the third temple game, this episode's temple run probably would have been a win.
   4. The Marble Armrest of Xerxes: The Green Monkeys may be the GOAT (Greatest of all teams), but that team had few bad episodes, including this one. On the Purple Parrots in this episode is Levi Turney, who is the younger brother of one of the greatest temple winners (Silver Snake Zac Turney from "The Secret Map of the Bandit Queen"). Levi and his teammate Candace were doing better than the Green Monkeys in this episode named Pat and Noelle. This shitty team got to the temple all because the tiebreaker had an obvious answer ("What Was Xerxes' throne made of? The bones of Greeks, marble or driftwood?"). After correctly answering a sorry excuse for a tiebreaker question, this sorry excuse for a temple team couldn't make it past the bottom floor within their three minutes of given time. Also, Levi Turney and his teammate Candace had a much better pre-Temple Run performance. Had the producers thought of a better tiebreaker question, chances are Levi would have gone in the temple like his older brother did.
   5. The Smashed Printing Plate of Frederick Douglass: Please don't be fooled by Red Jaguars Jason and Dana winning two full pendants in the Temple Games with their opponents winning none. The spotters were completely oblivious about Jason cheating in Temple Games 1 and 3. In the first temple game, he and Gary (the male Purple Parrot) were on a galloping machine and had to throw newspapers into their baskets. When either player fell off, his opponent had to wait for him to get back on the horse before resuming the game, which should have been explicitly stated by Olmec. However, Jason rebelliously continued to throw the newspapers while Gary was getting back on the galloping machine after falling off. Before we get to the third temple game, let's go over the second one. Dana and Sharon (the female Purple Parrot) had to collect full inkwells from a cubbyhole web. Dana won 5-4 all because Sharon fumbled one of her inkwells out of her team's bin. Now in the third temple game, oh no, the Red Jaguars cheat by skipping the first step at least once and somehow they weren't penalized for it. As the spotters didn't know that Jason and Dana were cheating and playing unfairly, these two go to the temple when they shouldn't have. Here's one more thing before discussing the Temple Run: Gary and Sharon made it all the way across the moat before Jason and Dana could and even correctly answered the first three Steps of Knowledge questions. Ready for the Temple Run? Warning: It may make your ears bleed. While Jason was in the temple, he was way too hesitant and lacked competence, making Dana keep shouting at him at the top of her lungs. Once he reached the Dark Forest, a temple spirit sent his sorry ass out of the temple. However, Dana showed pure hypocrisy by taking the bottom door to the Pit of the Pendulum and was forced to climb the pit wall without any time to make additional progress. Two valuable lessons have been taught: 1. Cheaters never deserve victory; 2. Practice what you preach.
   6. The Enormous Feather of the Mê Linh: It may seem strange to have an episode where the artifact was grabbed in time among these, but unfortunately the Purple Parrots were doing better in every way throughout the episode than Orange Iguanas. This pair of Orange Iguanas named David and Karisa did a bare minimum to pass each pre-Temple Run round (Moat: Purple finished first while Orange finished fourth; Steps: Purple made it all the way down before Orange could give a correct response; Games: 1. Orange won 2-1 / 2. Orange won 4-2 / 3. Purple won 3-1 / TB. Purple failed to hit the gong). Now let's get the Temple Run out of the way, shall we? David was really fast and lucky until he reached the Dark Forest where a temple spirit took him out, sending Karisa in the temple. She was horribly sluggish and when she entered the Quicksand Bog, she somehow got confused and just stood there like an idiot. However, she did continue through the Shrine of the Silver Monkey and Room of the Ancient Warriors and had no problem completing those rooms' objectives. Even after grabbing the feather in the King's Storeroom, she still made no effort to speed up. Just like "The Lucky Pot-Bellied Pig of Amelia Earhart", this episode would have had the Purple Parrots do much better than a temple team that consisted of one player who does all the work to get to the temple and another who finishes the episode wrong.
   7. The Lily-Crested Crown of Clovis the First: Here's the only other episode where the Purple Parrots should have gone in the temple over the Orange Iguanas. The Purple Parrots were doing much better in the pre-Temple Run rounds (Moat: Purple finished first while Orange finished third; Steps: Purple correctly answered questions 1, 2 and 5 while Orange correctly answered 3, 8 and 9; Games: 1. Orange and Purple tied with five each / 2. Orange made it to goal / 3. Orange and Purple tied with three each - Purple just needed one more) and likely would have done much better in the temple. The female Orange Iguana named Katie went in first and everything went alright until she entered the Chamber of the Sacred Markers where she had too much trouble finding the remaining marker on one of the walls. After finally completing that room's objective, she went into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey through the Room of the Ancient Warriors. When the second temple guard emerged in the shrine, it was kind of amusing to see him scare Katie so much that she fell off one of the cabinets in the back. Her teammate Judge went in and didn't see that the Chamber of the Sacred Markers was open from the Pit of the Pendulum so he decided to enter that room from the King's Storeroom. When he finally reached the Shrine of the Silver Monkey, he didn't have enough time to put the monkey together. It's not likely that the Purple Parrots would have had an insane struggle in the Chamber of the Sacred Markers.