Cease and Desist by Drasayer on DeviantArt (original) (raw)

Follows After: “Jarin…you can’t just quit on me. You’re not a quitter. You can’t do this to me…”

His desperate plea still hung on the forefront of his thoughts, shadowing his eyes like a shroud of shame. Sydney wasn’t raised to be futile or needy. He was supposed to be the stereotypical image of a burly man: self-sufficient, emotionally desolate, physically strong, and spiritually committed. Saying those kinds of things to Jarin… ugh, it made him feel like anything but a man. It made his blood simmer under the surface. Was this who he was reduced to? In the midst of a cheating wife, cheating on his wife, trying to finalize a divorce, wanting to be in love- No, that kind of thought had to stop right there. He had been down that route before and look where it got him.
Much like how Sydney preferred to put his life on display; he took all of those thoughts and kept them shut away. It wasn’t going to change the fact that he had a job to do, bills to pay, and some kind of reputation to uphold. Work was easy in that sense. The youngster he had to work with had taken the turn he looked for in all of the horses he started. It usually happens over the course of a few days. They relax. They take a breath. They stop keeping an ear pointed outside of the arena. They stop looking for an escape. They start focusing on the human, what their body language is saying, they begin to learn rather than solely react as they would have to in the wild.
Butler was moving right on pace with his training. Sydney had begun to throw a leg over the horse’s back. He never asked the horse to do anything at this point. Just stand still and feel his weight. Should he want to walk, that wasn’t met with harsh hands. He merely steered their nose as they had done from the ground already. They’d continue in circles until his feet would stop again and Sydney would release the rein. The beginnings of halting, flexion, steering, giving, softening, subtleness.
This circling continued throughout the riding. That was the key to a soft horse: bending, giving. Straight lines were leaps and bounds ahead when the horse understood what the cues meant. Before long, Butler was walking, trotting, and cantering in the small pen. When he could do that on a soft rein, they could move to the bigger arena and stretch out. Butler was quickly becoming a handy mount, attentive to everything around him and especially reactive to cues. It came from depending on his perception to stay alive out of captivity. This led to the next phase Sydney had in mind for the young horse: returning to the wilderness, stepping out of the arena.
It didn’t come without a hiccup. Sydney couldn’t help himself. As well as he kept his personal life tucked away, what was he supposed to do when he saw Jarin waiting in the aisle? Just walk by and pretend he didn’t have anything to say? No, these made-up rules Tristan was making were bullshit. He had to say something to Jarin. He couldn’t just let this keep going on. He didn’t sneak up on Jarin in the slightest. He wasn’t trying to hide. He was a man and he was going to make that clear. “Jarin,” Sydney called plainly, leading Butler beside him.
Jarin didn’t look at him in the slightest like he knew by the sounds of Sydney’s boots and spurs who it was already. “Sydney, I can't be around you…” he said without a sense of emotion to it like it was rehearsed.
Sydney knew who was pulling the strings in the background. The curly-haired weasel brainwashing him. He grit his teeth but sounded apologetic, “Just hear me out, Jarin-“
“You shouldn’t even be talking to me.” Jarin cut him off, turning to walk away. He made a promise. No matter what the ache felt like in his heart, if Tristan could move on, so could Jarin and so could Sydney. “I shouldn't even be talking to you.”
Sydney wasn’t letting ti go that easily. He couldn’t just step down and feel even more pathetic. “And yet here we are. Jarin, look-“
Jarin clenched his teeth harder, staring him down in distress. He looked like someone had just told him his dog had died. No…Sydney could see a bit of anger underneath the sadness. Jarin’s eyes turned red with emotion. Though it hurt them both…Jarin spat the words, “Sydney, _stop!_”
And just like that. The macho manly man was brought to his knees (figuratively). He really was pathetic. Just the one word: “stop” brought his world to a halt. He had been told that before. Numerous times. And the day Jarin had come back from screwing around with Tristan. Did he listen then? No… Why…why couldn’t he just fix this? He had to leave. He didn’t want to. Everything inside of him wanted to open his mouth one more time to make some kind of excuse. But goddammit…he deserved at least one time where when he told Sydney to stop…he did…

The fresh air was a good idea. That’s not the reasoning Sydney was going to believe because he had planned on riding away onto the wooded trails of the stable anyway but let’s be honest here: there was no way he was going to be able to stay on the grounds without losing his shit. At least working, he had something to keep his focus.
He doubled down on the workload. He decided to halter one of the up-and-coming young mares that was under his training as well. A little Quarter Horse that could use the exposure while she was young. It was a win-win. Butler was coming along just fine but horses like him needed a job, a purpose. Now he wasn’t just the young horse that needed guidance from the human figure. Now, he was the young horse giving guidance to another young horse that hadn’t experienced the things he had. He got to set the example. This was his herd just as much as Sydney’s.
It sparked confidence in the Rouveri. Where Butler may have been intimidated being outside of the walls for the first time in months, he didn’t feel alone or that he should bolt away. And Jetta, the filly, who was born in captivity was intrigued by her surroundings. Having a human there was her peace of mind. Having another brave horse alongside her made her curious if perhaps she could do the same one day.

(1109 wordcount)
tldr;
uh Syd having issues processing feelings and emotions
big man dont feel no emotions
Butler is doing great~
Syd wants to maybe, possibly, might actually, perhaps say sorry to Jarin???? (yet to be confirmed)
Jarin wants none of his shit
Syd mad/sad
But hey, a nice pony ride and lil baby coming along for more training

Previous: Threat Level Identified || Next: TBA

Happy Spooky Pumpkin Day~
Didn't actually plan to have this done specifically for Halloween xD Not really a Halloween piece but...here it is anyway lol Fresh of the press. Happy spooks and fall~

So Syd showing his inner turmoil more here. He's a complex character that exhausts me to write for and understand. He's pretty simple on the surface but the deeper you go, the more if's, and's, and but's there are about this guy. Which I appreciate because that's interesting~ But on the other hand, I just die a little more each time a moment like this happens. But can ya blame him?

I AM MAN, I SPEAK MY OPINION.
OH SHIT MY OPINION WAS RECEIVED VERY BADLY
NOW IM BIG MAD FOR CATCHING OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS
BUT IM TRYING TO REFORM MY OPINION
BUT I AINT GONNA CHANGE FOR NOBODY
BUT I HAVE TO.

And the internal war wages on~ RIP.

Anywho, this, as all of my projects, went way beyond what I had intended it to be. But I'm used to it by now x''D It is what it is. And further more, a huge thank you for anyone that actually stops and reads through this crap. Been on my mind these past few months, psyching myself out and all that. I know my stories aren't exactly everyone's cup of tea, maybe their too obvious or the theme has run its course but these are my brain kids and I'm proud(??) of them :""") Takes a lot out of me to toss their shit storm out on the webs. So thanks to those that toss a thumbs up my way <3 I'm not as hard shelled as I once was. A little love goes a long way, appreciate you <''3

SAI/PhotoshopCS6