Short Story - The Committee Meets (Workplace 3) by girdledandgagged1 on DeviantArt (original) (raw)

With gratitude for the inspiring artwork of @mangle1973 which has triggered these writings.

"Thank you for meeting us, Mr. Pettibone. I'm Helen and this is Eileen. Carol and Joyce shared with us your wish to improve relations between Faculty and Administration. We were flattered that you asked for us specifically."

"We're sorry, Mr. Pettibone, Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Fuller told us that you preferred more traditional forms of address. Helen is Mrs. Trent, and I am Mrs. Ross. I must say it's a refreshing change from that Gibbons person who preceeded you."

Oh, just say it, Mrs. Ross. Gibbons was a pig, leering at the younger female teachers and acting just barely this side of inappropriate. Complaints were made, but he always wriggled away. Every woman here was relieved to see him retire."

"Mrs. Trent, I think Mr. Pettibone has heard enough ancient history. Let's stick to business here, shall we?"

"Of course, dear. It's already after hours, and I'm sure Mr. Pettibone has other, more pressing engagements. Is someone waiting for you at home, Mr. Pettibone? A wife... a husband?"

"Please don't take offense, Mr. Pettibone, it's just that one should never presume these days."

"Mrs. Ross and I accept your apology, Mr. Pettibone, and it's nice to meet a gentleman. This school has so few of them."

"That brings us to our first suggestion, Mr. Pettibone. Mrs. Trent and I recommend the establishment of a female-only faculty lounge. Your female teachers need some respite during the workday from suffering indignities so freely offered by our male colleagues."

"Yes, you'd never know women made up a majority of the faculty in this school. Because most of the men here are young engough to be our sons, they've got the attitude and appetites of overgrown fraternity brothers. Gibbons just let them run roughshod over everything when what they needed was some control."

"You're taking notes. That's a good sign. Mrs. Trent, you remember Gibbons would just 'yes, yes' with everything we brought up. You impress me as a young man capable of a more acute understanding."

"This next area is a bit more sensitive, and perhaps you should just commit it to memory, rather than writing. It's about staffing. Based on conversations Mrs. Ross and I have had with other teachers, this committee would prefer that all future vacancies be filled by women - mature women, over 40."

"We understand this is a thorny issue, but you do have final say on hiring - and we have no objection to younger women working in the cafeteria, or men hired as groundskeepers and maintenance workers, all directed by mature female supervisors."

"Right, Mrs. Ross. Mr. Pettibone, there are so few advancement opportunities for women over 40, and I hope you appreciate our support of the sisterhood."

"Aren't you a breath of fresh air, Mr. Pettibone! So sensitive and understanding, unlike other young men your age. I'll bet you were raised by women, weren't you? Wait, don't answer - Mrs. Trent, shall we make it interesting? A dollar?"

"Oh, we like to have these little dollar bets now and then. Here you go, Mrs. Ross. Now, on the academic side, we'd like to see a greater emphasis on female success. Instituting a special tutorial program to support and reward academic achievement for female students would be a great help."

"Yes, with women teachers receiving a special stipend for participation. You could make that happen quietly, couldn't you Mr. Pettibone? Helen and I would personally appreciate your doing that for us... and the students, of course. Just a little pilot program no one needs to know about until we can show results."

"This next part is about health and wellness - that's a big issue in the workplace. Female teachers have certain medical matters that can indispose them for a day or two each month. I'll refrain from elaborating, but as a son and a brother, you surely know what I mean."

"Therefore, we'd like to see up to two additional medical leave days per month for all female teachers, regardless of age. To do otherwise would be discriminatory, and we don't want to advantage one group over another."

"Why, Mr. Pettibone, you're perspiring, and you do seem a bit flushed. Your necktie is so tightly knotted, let me loosen it and unbutton your collar. Mrs. Ross, lets undo a button ourselves, so Mr. Pettibone doesn't feel out of place. There, aren't we all more comfortable? I suppose the air conditioning gets turned off at six."

"Another factor keeping us from doing our best is class size. Did you know our average is 30 students? That's too many to give each the proper attention. Getting the average down to 20 would be so very helpful."

"Oh, that's simple, Mr. Pettibone, just redistribute more students to sections with male teachers. They've been coasting here for much too long, and they need to learn how to teach under more... adverse... conditions."

"As a bonus, the school average won't change and the bean counters at the district office will never know the difference. Grade performance in our sections will go up enough that they'll raise the school average. As a bonus, choosing to move the... slower.. students out will really let us shine. You *do* want to see us succeed, don't you, Mr. Pettibone, the female teachers?"

"James... Pettibone... My apologies, but I just realized - you were a student here 10 years ago, weren't you? I had you in my Trigonometry class! You were so attentive and thoughtful - a joy to have in my front row! Mrs. Ross, you must remember Jimmy Pettibone!"

"Jimmy! Of course - my European History class. First to arrive, last to leave, with such good questions after class. Sometimes, I'd have to shoo you out so you wouldn't miss gym! Little Jimmy, all grown up and the big boss of our school. Well, we have high expectations for you now, Jimmy, every female teacher on the staff."

"Goodness, Jimmy, you're fidgeting in your seat just like the days in class. These seats are only meant for 45 minutes at a time, aren't they? Even Mrs. Ross and I are getting a little squirmy, as I'm sure you noticed.

"Jimmy - I mean Mr. Pettibone - let's return to business. There's one last item for now. Student discipline. There seem to be no consequences for aberrent behavior anymore. Disrespectful backtalk to teachers, tardiness, late assignments, texting in class - it's horrid, and boys are the worst offenders."

"We'd like to see an option, just an option, mind you, for imposition of corporal punishment for the more egregious infractions. Administred by female faculty only, of course, because we're the ones who bear the brunt of things students would never try with a male teacher. And it should be imposed in class as an example to the others."

"You remember what it was like, Mr. Pettibone, before, when you were here. Both Mrs. Trent and I had rare occasions when you needed it, or when your mother sent you in with a note asking us to do it for her. It would be different now, no chance of having a student lower their trousers for it or anything."

"You're shaking, Mr. Pettibone, you must be tired, so let's tie this up. We'd obtain advance parental consent, with a note to studen't mothers inviting them to opt in to the policy. That meets the legal requirements and, frankly, I think these days there are plenty of mothers like yours who want us to provide an extension of the discipline they should be getting at home."

"Mrs. Trent and I will send you a draft policy tomorrow for your implementation, hm? And we'll take care of maternal outreach. Woman-to-woman should get the best compliance."

"Any questions? No? That's good."

"This has been a very satisfactory first meeting, Mr. Pettibone. Let's schedule every Friday at this time to hear your progress on these matters and introduce new issues as they... pop up. We're sure Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Fuller are going to be very pleased by our report. Thank you for your time tonight. You may leave now; you're dismissed."

DOOR CLOSES

"Eileen, did you see what I saw when Jimmy left?"

"Hm? What was that?"

"Visible panty lines."

"No! They must have been tighty-whities."

"With a mushroom gusset?"