For The Want Of A Wheel - P1 by jbwarner86 on DeviantArt (original) (raw)

I've been in another one of my "I love Wreck-It Ralph" moods lately. And if you know me, you're aware that my "I love Wreck-It Ralph" moods are often accompanied by "I hate Ralph Breaks the Internet" moods. But I'm not the kind of guy to let hate and bitterness consume my soul. No, I get creative about it instead.

So a while ago, I bought this Wreck-It Ralph book called "Break Into the Internet". It's a choose-your-own-adventure book that starts off as a novelization of the sequel, but then diverges down like 60 different paths after the WiFi router gets plugged in. Get this - you the viewer finally have the option to not see Ralph and Vanellope act like absolute idiots. Your first fork in the road is deciding whether Ralph should build Vanellope a new track while Litwak's Arcade is open, or after it closes for the night. The movie had him do it while the arcade was open, setting off a chain reaction of utterly stupid events that whizzed all over established canon and basically decimated his and Vanellope's friendship. I had him wait until the arcade closed, like someone who has an ounce of sense would - and what do ya know, I got a happy ending that wrapped up the story in like ten pages. Who'da thunk it?

So that inspired me to do this little alternate continuity comic - because when it comes to Ralph Breaks the Internet, alternate continuities are the only ones that matter. What if - and hear me out here - the characters didn't make insultingly stupid decisions just so the plot can happen? What if Ralph was, oh, let's say, supportive of Vanellope instead of clinging childishly to her like a trophy? What if Vanellope talked and acted and thought like the child she is, instead of a thirtysomething screenwriter fresh off a midlife crisis? What if Felix and Calhoun, I dunno, did stuff? And what if the Surge Protector was competent enough at his job to know that a single strip of "Do Not Cross" tape isn't gonna keep anybody out of an open electrical outlet? And also, what if there was humor in this movie? That'd be fun, huh?

It all added up to this simple eight-pager that I've been knocking out in my free time over the last few months, based on the smartest possible path you can take in that book. This is so satisfyingly cathartic to me, as both a person in the audience and as a writer. Because as I always say, when your plot can only happen if your characters behave like complete morons, you might need to get a new plot.