The Fourth of July by Kazuv on DeviantArt (original) (raw)

Many wonder why we celebrate the fourth of July. Indeed, it is an ancient and forgotten tale, and one which you would do well to remember.

On the fourth day of the month of Emperor Julius in the ancient Roman village of Washington DC all was quiet. As dusk fell on that day, a strange figure approached. Her skin was green and her belly round, for she was a smexy preggy ork babe. The townsfolk were fearful for they did not understand this strange smexy preggy and her strange powers. The xenophobic population watched her cautiously, peeking out of their windows at her and clearing the streets in her presence. Oh, and also this village was full of evil ninjas. Did I mention that part? Anyway, these evil ninjas went about doing what evil ninjas do and they started attacking the town, but the smexy preggy was some kind of wizard or something, for she summoned from the depths of the netherrealm a demon ninja of her own to fight off the evil ninja invaders. Verily, this ninja demon's ninja skillz smote the evil invaders, and the overjoyed townspeople gladly welcomed the smexy preggy ork and her ninja demon into their town... and that ninja demon's name was George Washington!