RE-VIEW: Stork Spills the Beans by MartenFerret on DeviantArt (original) (raw)
HYPOTHETICALWATCHER: "I didn't think it was possible, but your art has gotten worse"
Um... Smarty Stork is a 'Sweet Pickles' character---he's supposed to look like this; all 26 of the 'Sweet Pickles' characters look like this. ^^
HYPOTHETICALWATCHER: "...ok"
Anyway, what's 'Sweet Pickles'?
I'll let this commercial explain (link tested 09/02/2021): www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlmMin…
...I actually had that bus box as a kid; as I recall, I kept crayons in it. ^^
Anyway, 'Sweet Pickles' was a series of educational children's activity books (etc) made available via mail-order subscription.
The books were written and illustrated by Richard Hefter. Hefter also wrote and illustrated the 'StickyBear' and 'Strawberry Library' books.
...and based on some of his work, I wouldn't be surprised if Hefter had a DeviantArt account: sta.sh/0zu0wri6qdy
HYPOTHETICALWATCHER: "Hefter died in 2011"
...Oh? Well, I, uh, meant no criticism---I mean, I have a DeviantArt, and an InkBunny (that's worse, right?). And I, uh...
HYPOTHETICALWATCHER: "Stop trying, Marten"
Right. MOVING ON! D:
The 'Sweet Pickles' characters were of the anthro-animal sort, each blessed with an alliterative name representing their respective personalities (I wonder if ChasesCreations knows of these characters lol). For example, we have Loving Lion, Bashful Bear, Jealous Jackal and Temper-Tantrum Turtle just to name a few ...and if you're wondering what character 'X' represents, it's 'X-Rating Xerus' (a xerus is a type of ground squirrel). ^^
Ok, so why did I chose Smarty Stork?
Because the only 'Sweet Pickles' book I have features the character, specifically: 'Stork Spills the Beans'
"This book is about Smarty Stork. He has answers for every question, including who delivers babies"
In,
"[a story] with giggles and tickles and awful pickles"
If there's a baby involved in this story, I'm sure an awful pickle would be somehow responsible.
Anyway, the story begins with Loving Lion and Accusing Alligator sitting around and discussing random things,
"'I wonder where babies com from', said Lion.
'That's easy', Alligator replied. 'They come from under a cabbage leaf'"
Lion doesn't believe Alligator, so the two begin exchanging do-nots and do-sos,
Seems odd to me that Loving Lion would accuse Accusing Alligator of being mistaken, but perhaps the characters aren't as glued to their respective namesakes as one might imagine them to be.
Either way, Enormous Elephant happens by,
"'Babies', Elephant said, 'are brought by Stork. Stork delivers babies'"
Lion believes Elephant, but Alligator remains skeptical. To settle the matter, the three set forth to visit Stork (who works at the post office).
Does Stork deliver babies?
***SPOILERS AHEAD---TURN BACK WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!---***
STORK: "Ah, ahem, yes, well, I've been asked that before. And the answer is pretty easy. I've delivered boxes of letters and soft, fuzzy sweaters, refrigerators, percolators, radiators and ventilators. I've brought lemonade and marmalade, lampshades, spades and ropes in braids. I've delivered bags of flags and boxes with tags, envelopes and cantaloupes, kaleidoscopes and *antelopes. I've delivered 'most everything...balloons and spoons and hairy balloons. Hats and bats and coats for cats, snakes and flakes and wedding cakes. Everything comes through the post office! As postmaster, I deliver airplanes, canes and weathervanes. But I DON'T deliver babies!"
*maybe one has to be a certain age in the world of Sweet Pickles before one can send oneself (or another) through the mail ...otherwise, it's possible Stork has at least delivered an antelope baby ...but I really don't want to think much about that. ^^
So the answer to Lion and Alligator's question remains. The two pose some childish guesses at Stork, but neither gets it right ...the juvenile part of me wonders what guess X-Rating Xerus would make. 
"Well," said Stork, "It's really very simple. I can tell you in one word where babies come from"
***SPOILERS AHEAD---ABSOLUTE LAST CHANCE TO TURN BACK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM!!!---***
STORK: "Babies come from mothers. Yes they do"
:3
And that was 'Stork Spills the Beans'!
HYPOTHETICALWATCHER: "Stork spilled the beans---that's why there's no baby in this story!"
...Bruh. You know kids sometimes read my re-views, right? Besides, you're confusing Smarty Stork with Obnoxious Onan.
HYPOTHETICALWATCHER: "You're no better than me, Marten" [points at pencil]
*sigh*
Yes, I chose to feature a 'Lance' pencil with this drawing because I'm immature and unfunny. 
As a Christian, I believe in Hell, therefore I believe what we do with pickles and beans may bear on one's eternity ...but I refuse to believe God doesn't have a sense of humor. Besides, no actual pickles or beans were (uh) utilized in the writing of this re-view, so we're all good! ^^
Anyway, though it isn't branded as such, this Lance pencil was made by Eagle. The original Lance was branded, and numbered '0115'.
This second-run/school-use version is numbered '115', and was made available in different colors (I know of red, blue and yellow, but purple and green may have been included).
Anyway ...For those who want more 'Sweet Pickles', here's a link to a reading of 'Goose Goofs Off', read by Captain Kangaroo (link tested 09/02/2021): www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TNeqR…
Till next time!