Hunger by MutantVora on DeviantArt (original) (raw)

What happens when you lose everything? When you've worked so hard for so long that your body begins to break down and rot before your very eyes. Then you're there on the precipice, needing someone, anyone, to help and you become a weight. You waive your rights, your opinions, your sanctity of mind just to have a modicum of warmth. You get pushed into the corners, left to fend for yourself, every tiny thing you take held as a debt for your very soul. It doesn't matter if you cook, clean, and take up responsibility after responsibility to justify your existence, it will never be enough and the world will turn on you for your need.
I quit school to work, got my GED, had to quit college, and worked more than 40 hours a week for years just to make ends meet and this is where I am, being berated for every shower, every meal I cook, everything that I earned on my own stolen, and I continue to wither.
I'm only 25, but I feel like I'm in my nineties, feeble and jaded against such an unkind and unjust world as I watch genocides happen, powerless to help because I've been stripped of everything I can use to help. I am ninety in a twenty-five year old body, unable to move. Unable to scream. Unable to be heard.
I've turned in over a hundred resumes and applications at this point and all I have now is art and the promise that maybe my husband and I will make it through this to one day own a little goat farm with some chickens and all sorts of plants. Maybe one day I'll leave my homeland and go across the seas in the hopes of a less bleak future.