ASStronaut III by PEARfectionist on DeviantArt (original) (raw)

"Doctor, are you sure this test is necessary?"

"Very much so."

"But I'm huge! I won't be able to do my job like this!"

"Not to worry, this will only happen in case of an emergency. We need to see your body's reaction to the emergency sealant protocol we've programmed into your suit."

"The what?"

"In the event of explosive decompression inside the space shuttle, your suit will activate the lipid-based nanites currently in your bloodstream and begin replicating exponentially. So far we are simulating that scenario now."

"...You mean that if there's a hole in the spaceship, you want my ass to blow up to plug the hole? That's why my butt is a goddamn balloon?!?"

"...That's an oversimplification, but in practical terms, yes."

"But-"

"You will be saving lives."

*sigh* "I could have gone into accounting..."

Nicely done.