Lucario TF by PixelPopcornAD on DeviantArt (original) (raw)

Just had my wife come into our room literally shaking and in tears. She told me our son screamed at her and knocked his chicken nuggets out of her hand and slammed the door on her... screaming about events, new equipments and Root Riders?! I know he's had a real addiction to the game Clash of Clans but his actions lately are starting to worry me. I did some research and it appears the new update "New equipments and Root Rider nerf" was supposed to come out today... Supercell can you please release this update so my son will return to somewhat normalcy? I just stopped outside his door and he's literally rolling on the floor screaming still. I think he even defecated in his pants as it smells awful.

Update 1: the local sheriff just called me saying he caught my son stealing Nature makeup, roots and grass from Walmart. After his root-fueled pants shitting tantrum last night this doesn’t even surprise me. It’s hard enough dealing with a 34 year old son who won’t move out and only plays Clash of Clans all day, but now this is impacting my work as I had to take personal leave to deal with this. My wife is still a mess and my son is having a legit meltdown. Supercell… YOU ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN END THIS, RELEASE THE ROOT RIDER NERF AND NEW EQUIPMENTS!!

Update 2: my son escaped the police station as I was on my way to pick him up and has now broken into the local zoo. He has infiltrated the nature enclosure and is now holding multiple of the animals hostage at roots. He keeps saying things like “ore farming is ez just try fake legends” and “Vampstache is mid.” I can’t see his face as it is mostly obscured by a root and grass makeup, but I think he means business. The lack of this “Root Rider nerf” has truly driven him to madness. When I attempted to retrieve him from the enclosure he slowly turned to me and declared: “Wouldn't it be fun to get a event pass every week ? Oh please” after which I immediately shit my own pants. I am scared of this power he has developed and what he might do to these innocent nature creatures. The SWAT team told me they had a clear shot on him, but I begged them to wait until at least 3-5 PM SERVER TIME. Your move Supercell.

Update 3: I have been sitting in utter turmoil for the past hours waiting for any, ANY news from Supercell about Root Rider nerf. Just recently my son, still threatening those poor trees, let out a screech of excitement as he looked at his iPad. I sat up excitedly as I hoped Root Rider nerf and new equipment was finally here and watched him furiously tap on the right side of the screen until his face darkened again in utter disbelief. He turned to me and the SWAT team and simply said “A bug fixing update? son of a BITCH” before decapitating a tree. SWAT almost ended him then and there before I reminded him that Supercell could still release the update today…

REVAMPED CLAN CHAT? HASTE VIAL ADJUSTMENT? KING WITH THAT MID SKIN? 400 GEMS TO CONTINUE STREAK EVENT? I'M THE CLOWN NOW.

The end: SWAT had to take him down following the sheer rage he had after seeing only bug fixes, no new equipment , and no Root Rider nerf. As he lay dying in my arms he looked me in the eyes and said “maybe the real patch… was the Root Rider we became along the way…” I smiled down at him, both our pants now laden with copious amounts of poo. I pulled away my secret mask to reveal that it was I, Redditor “The Supercell” Root Rider nerf, the entire time. His eyes widened, and he gasped “it was really only random bug fixes?” I replied “always has been kid” as I gripped his neck with my bare hands, suffocating what life he had left.

Just had my wife come into our room literally shaking and in tears. She told me our son screamed at her and knocked his chicken nuggets out of her hand and slammed the door on her... screaming about events, new equipments and Root Riders?! I know he's had a real addiction to the game Clash of Clans but his actions lately are starting to worry me. I did some research and it appears the new update "New equipments and Root Rider nerf" was supposed to come out today... Supercell can you please release this update so my son will return to somewhat normalcy? I just stopped outside his door and he's literally rolling on the floor screaming still. I think he even defecated in his pants as it smells awful.

Update 1: the local sheriff just called me saying he caught my son stealing Nature makeup, roots and grass from Walmart. After his root-fueled pants shitting tantrum last night this doesn’t even surprise me. It’s hard enough dealing with a 34 year old son who won’t move out and only plays Clash of Clans all day, but now this is impacting my work as I had to take personal leave to deal with this. My wife is still a mess and my son is having a legit meltdown. Supercell… YOU ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN END THIS, RELEASE THE ROOT RIDER NERF AND NEW EQUIPMENTS!!

Update 2: my son escaped the police station as I was on my way to pick him up and has now broken into the local zoo. He has infiltrated the nature enclosure and is now holding multiple of the animals hostage at roots. He keeps saying things like “ore farming is ez just try fake legends” and “Vampstache is mid.” I can’t see his face as it is mostly obscured by a root and grass makeup, but I think he means business. The lack of this “Root Rider nerf” has truly driven him to madness. When I attempted to retrieve him from the enclosure he slowly turned to me and declared: “Wouldn't it be fun to get a event pass every week ? Oh please” after which I immediately shit my own pants. I am scared of this power he has developed and what he might do to these innocent nature creatures. The SWAT team told me they had a clear shot on him, but I begged them to wait until at least 3-5 PM SERVER TIME. Your move Supercell.

Update 3: I have been sitting in utter turmoil for the past hours waiting for any, ANY news from Supercell about Root Rider nerf. Just recently my son, still threatening those poor trees, let out a screech of excitement as he looked at his iPad. I sat up excitedly as I hoped Root Rider nerf and new equipment was finally here and watched him furiously tap on the right side of the screen until his face darkened again in utter disbelief. He turned to me and the SWAT team and simply said “A bug fixing update? son of a BITCH” before decapitating a tree. SWAT almost ended him then and there before I reminded him that Supercell could still release the update today…

REVAMPED CLAN CHAT? HASTE VIAL ADJUSTMENT? KING WITH THAT MID SKIN? 400 GEMS TO CONTINUE STREAK EVENT? I'M THE CLOWN NOW.

The end: SWAT had to take him down following the sheer rage he had after seeing only bug fixes, no new equipment , and no Root Rider nerf. As he lay dying in my arms he looked me in the eyes and said “maybe the real patch… was the Root Rider we became along the way…” I smiled down at him, both our pants now laden with copious amounts of poo. I pulled away my secret mask to reveal that it was I, Redditor “The Supercell” Root Rider nerf, the entire time. His eyes widened, and he gasped “it was really only random bug fixes?” I replied “always has been kid” as I gripped his neck with my bare hands, suffocating what life he had left.