DEATH BATTLE by RedRaptorContingen on DeviantArt (original) (raw)

DCM: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL! YEAH!
RRC: *sigh*....yeah. let's start this off. in one corner we got the robotic devil that is earth it's self Unicron!
DCM: oh shit! it's about to go down! in the other, we got the living singularity with a diet consisting of planets, Guhnash! let's get right into this!
RRC: we'll only be doing Guhnash's read out because any transformers fan in the comments section can fill you in on who robo-Satan is.
DCM: huh...ok.
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name: Guhnash
powers: indestructible by conventional methods, space travel, consumes worlds.
(RRC: how's that for power)
{DCM: meh. it's alright......oh who am i kidding, IT'S FU-}
size: ........y-you're joking right? this mother fucker is big enough to eat worlds! how am i going to get a read out on how much he weighs and how big it is! it's world ending levels of size! lets just go with him being as long as Unicron is tall and as heavy as a black hole.
{DCM: i'm not even going to try}
(RRC: same)
greatest weapon: his head.
greatest weakness: his head.
power scale: Kaiju/eldritch
(RRC: now that that's out of the way)
{DCM: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL! HELL YEAH!}
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*people went about life, peacefully. they had no idea of what hell awaits them.*
...
*the earth shakes violently, deep fissures forming as people fall in and spires rip out of parts of the crust. a massive metal ring formed from the pools, people grew terrified at the prospect of all life on earth ending today*
...
*then, as if life couldn't get worse. the earth began to transform, the atmosphere destroyed and all life utterly wiped out by the intense radiation.*
???: i *head raises up from his shoulders* am Unicron.
...
*something large slithers through the endless void of space, it knew it smelled something here. but what it saw wasn't a planet, but was a massive humanoid form. it lets lose a hellishly loud screech sounding it's approach*
Unicron: *turns to see an organic creature drifting towards him* what devilry is this?
*the creature zeros in on Unicron before in a quick burst of speed ramming into the monolithic machine. the titan is taken aback by this, but quickly regains his composure and proceeds to slam his servos down on it's head! the creature screeches again before seeming to swim off, he watches as it speeds back and prepares to attack.*
Unicron: how..pathetic.
*the titan moves to catch it but the monstrosity bites into his arm, sinking it's teeth in deeply as it began to rip a chunk out! the machine starts punching it's head, trying to get it to release it's hold of his arm! witch a sickening crunch the monster managed to rip a chunk out, exposing circuitry. but the monster screeched again before releasing what it just broke off, Unicron saw this as the monster moved away*
Unicron: hm..
*the monster gets as far as mars before turning around and shooting back close to light speed, it's jaws clamped shut as it moved! at the last second the titan delivered a punch to it's jaw sending it careening toward the sun! it's eyes glinted dangerously as it worked out a strategy, it looked to it's tail and got it's plan. with light speed it sent the tip of it's tail out and left a deep gash in his foe's back*
Unicron: ah...why you...*turns around and gets another gash that almost takes off one of his horns* i'll tear out your eyes.
*the monster screeches again before charging forward in an effort to go for the head, but Unicron transformed into planet mode! the monster reeled surprised before hunger took it over, it moved to begin consuming it's foe before Unicron orbited to face it. the gaping maw on his surface opening like a demonic flower, a light shone from it's depths as the monster screeched again! it was being pulled in and needed a plan to get free, in a flash it went for one of the towers connecting the ring to the planet and bit it in half*
Unicron: *transforming* for a time, i considered sparing you....but now *he grabs the creatur's head* you shall witness...*he jabs his claws into it's soft underbelly* DISMEMBERMENT!
*the creature screeches as Unicron begins to rip into it, trying to think of a way out it bit off some of the digits on the servo holding it in place! it struck like a snake trying to rip this thing apart and melt it's metallic body down for it's own consumption, Unicron grew ever furious before forcing it's maw open and jabbing his claws in deep! the creature screeched in pure agony as 2 of it's brains were ripped to shreds, it began to make a break for it's own survival*
Unicron: i think not. *transforms into planet mode again and starts drawing it back in* proceed....on your way to oblivion.
*the monster in a last ditch effort spun around and rammed Unicron head on, creating a massive dent in the planet. Unicron transformed again and ripped the lower jaw off, he saw the last remaining brain and with a sadistic smirk jabbed his clawed servo in and ripped it to shreds!*
Unicron: you can never escape. *he transforms again and moves to consume parts the monster took off*
[announcer: K.O!]
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RRC: well damn....
DCM: still fun to watch.
RRC: yep! though there are so many ways that fight could of gone and only 2 ways it could end.
DCM: the winner is robo-Satan himself, Unicron!