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Literature

Loud and Fast: Popularity

Sonic: Sorry we haven't said anything in a while, our writer has a life, you know. [Lincoln walks out to the mailbox and opens the door. He gasps as he finds something. It is a million dollar check.] Lincoln: Whoa! A million dollar check!? Which one of us would get that? [Then he looks at it closely. His eyes widen as he sees the check is signed, Sonic the Hedgehog.] Sonic!? How did he get this check!? Has he been… [He sees Sonic walking back; Lincoln runs upstairs.] Lincoln: EMERGENCY SIBLING MEETING! I CALL AN EMERGENCY SIBLING MEETING! [A couple minutes later, all of the sisters are in Leni's room, some are grumbling.] Luan: C'mon! I was working on a joke! Luna: What's the deal-io, bro? Lana: What is going on? [Leni bangs her shoe against the table.] Leni: Okay, guys. We have some certain matters to discuss? Lincoln: Yes, Leni. I was just getting the mail and then I came across this. [Holds up Sonic's million dollar check; the sisters gasp] Lola: A MILLION DOLLARS! Lana: Ooooh! A million dollars. Lucy: Wow. Who is it for? Lincoln: It's for Sonic. How did he manage to get a million dollar check sent here? Luan: He must have sent the address to some paying company. Luna: Seems to be a company called SEGA. Lynn: Doesn't that bozo know he's not supposed to be sending our address to some company he barely knows? Lincoln: Probably not. Lisa: Such simple mindedness of that hedgehog. Linka: C'mon, guys. He is a star of some game, right? Lincoln: Exactly. A video game. Not just one but a ton of them. And he has plenty of posters, movies, TV shows, and even several action figures. Leni: Guys, are you all jealous? Lynn: We're not jealous, Leni. We're peeved. I wonder what he'll probably do with all of that money. [Imagines her and the family getting kicked out of the house. Other folks are there too.] Dream Lynn: What gives!? Dream Sonic: Sorry, Butt Sniffer. Me and the bank have bought this neighborhood and are replacing it with a penthouse, dedicated to the world's richest hedgehog. So if I were you, I would scat and never return. [Laughs evilly; dream ends.] Lynn: Oh, crap! We're getting the boot soon, by Sonic! Siblings: What? Lana: Lynn, don't be ridiculous. Sonic would never do anything like that! Luan: He may have an ego but he's not a jerk about it. Lynn: Now that would be bad luck for all of us if we get kicked out. Lola: Still believe in those lame brain superstitions. Lynn: You may never know, Lola. We gotta see what he's planning. Lincoln: Hopefully it isn't too bad. [Realizes something.] Hey! Where did the check go? Lynn Sr.: (Offscreen gasps) Is this in dollars!? Lincoln: Apparently, Dad knows. Let's go. [The siblings run downstairs] Dad? What's going on? Lynn Sr.: Oh. Hey, kids. Sonic apparently has a million dollars! That's more than what we make in a year! Lisa: Sure is. I know. I pay the bills. Lynn Sr.: I'm gonna have words with him about this. Sonic: [Runs into the picture] Words about what? [The family jumps in surprise, even Lucy] Lincoln: Sonic! Uhhh, hey! Sonic: What's the problem? Lynn Sr.: Sonic, we need to talk. Sonic: Oh, no, Sr. Not that. "Cowbells are the best instrument." They're not. Guitars are. Luna: It's not that! It's the check you have. Sonic: I have a check? Lincoln: Yeah. Explain the one million dollars you have! Hmm? Sonic: A million dollars? For me? Oh! Why didn't you guys say so? Lynn Sr.: Sonic, I don't know and don't care how you got the money, but you need to return it. Someone's probably simping for you or something. Sonic: Oh, that. No one was simping. SEGA knows about me and they gave me that money. Leni: How did they know? Sonic: The news is everywhere. I'm pretty sure there are a lot of fans who want my autograph. Luna: Jeez. That popular, huh? Sonic: Yep, that popular. Luan: Especially since there are a lot of them right in front of us? Sonic: Wait, what? [Looks and sees a lot of fans in front of the Loud house; shocked] Wow. I wasn't expecting it to be right now. Be right there. [Runs off and signs tons of autographs.] Lincoln: What are we gonna do? Luna: Popularity is inevitable, brah. Lucy: We should tell lies about Sonic to make everyone hate him. Other sisters, Lincoln, and Lynn Sr.: NO! Lucy: Sigh. Worth a shot. Lincoln: That's cruel, Lucy. Luan: We just wait until the popularity goes down. Lana: But how long will that be? [The weeks go by. Sonic is seen signing autographs, open businesses, performing for other people, and constantly getting talked to by reporters. He does love it at first, but then it gets annoying. One day, Sonic comes back from the mall exhausted.] Sonic: Boy! Long day of signing tons of autographs after buying all of this junk! [Drops the bag he has full of merchandise.] I'm going to my room. [Walks upstairs.] Luna: Sonic. Your room's in the garage. Sonic: Oh, yeah. [Blows a small raspberry and walks downstairs to his room. Meanwhile, the siblings look through Sonic's stuff.] Lincoln: Wow. He split all of his money for this? Lola: But hey, an extra vase of one of us breaks that other one again. Leni: I'm very worried about Sonic. Lucy: Yes. He's stressed out. Lincoln: We gotta help him out somehow. [The siblings think] Leni: I got it! What if he stays home. Lisa: It could work, I guess. Leni: C'mon people. Let's get Sonic to sleep in. [Later, the siblings are all fried up.] Lincoln: I didn't think Sonic would be that hard to put to sleep. Lisa: But it worked. Leni: He'll be fine, right? Lisa: Precisely. He'll just be asleep for 15 hours. Linka: That's kinda psychopathic. Lisa: Pshaw! He's fine. [15 hours later, Sonic wakes up.] Sonic: Phew! What happened? [Phone rings. He picks it up.] Hello? Tails: Sonic! There are plenty of fans who are weirding me out. Sonic: Don't worry, buddy. I'll be right there. [Runs off to Clyde's house.] Bud! I'm here. Just sign some autographs and everything will be okay. [Later on, Sonic and Tails are resting.] Tails: Boy! It's tough being famous. I was just invited to a child's birthday party by someone, but I don't know who. Sonic: Yeah, this famous thing sucks! Tails: I hope Knuckles is doing better than we were. [Cuts to Knuckles near the Mercado surrounded by people.] Knuckles: You want autographs? Crowd: YES! YES! YES! Knuckles: Well, I cannot say no to some fans of an echidna warrior. [Signs some autographs. Then the crowd leaves. He smiles and is about to go inside when more people crowd around Knuckles.] This is a certain amount of attention. [Quickly signs some autographs.] Child: Sing your song! Knuckles: What song? Child: The one that you rap. Knuckles: [sighs deeply and stressfully] Fine. [Sings his song and people left] Finally. [Walks inside where Bobby is watching.] Bobby: Not a fan of the whole popularity thing, huh? Knuckles: No. Doesn't help that the people of SEGA gave me a piece of paper. Bobby: It's a check, Knuckles. Knuckles: Whatever. I'm going upstairs. [Goes to the Casagrande apartment on Rosa's side; breathes heavily] Rosa: Holá Knuckles. How was your morning? Knuckles: Mistress Rosa. Rosa: Yes? Knuckles: I HATE BEING FAMOUS! Hector: What? ¿Por qué? Knuckles: It is stressful, even for me. I don't know how Alisa Barela handles it. Carl: Can't you tell them you're taking a break? Knuckles: Would those people whose heads are full of stuffing process that? Carlos: They could. Knuckles: Sonic might handle this whole thing better than I could, since he is the main character of the franchise. [Meanwhile, Sonic and Tails walk along Royal Woods with bruises from crazy fans and dog catchers.] Sonic: Grrah! Boy, those fans really love us. Tails: My left tail will never be the same. What are we gonna do, Sonic? Sonic: I don't know. Take a break until the hype dies down? Tails: That might have an idea. Kind of like a quarantine. Sonic: But we're not protecting ourselves from some disease… Both: We'll protect ourselves from fans! Sonic: Genius! Tails: I'll say. Well, when can we see each other again? Sonic: When what I call, "The Fan Hype Protocol" ends. Tails: Somewhat makes sense to me. [Starts to fly off.] Bye, Sonic! Sonic: Make sure you use your money for taxes! Tails: You bet we will. [Flies off] Sonic: Well, time for me to get going. [Runs off back to the Loud house and shuts the door of the garage and relaxes in his bed.] Well, the Fan Hype Protocol is put into action. [Later, Sonic gets a call from Ronnie Anne.] Sonic: Ronnie Anne? Ronnie: Hi, Sonic! So Knuckles wanted to talk to you. Sonic: Oh, no. Is he going through the same problem? Ronnie: Unfortunately. Here he is. [Hands the laptop to Knuckles.] Knuckles: Sonic. Thank goodness. The fans are driving me bonkers! Sonic: You think you're having problems? I had a major problem. Knuckles: Had? Why had? Sonic: Me and Tails decide to isolate ourselves from the public until the hype dies down. I call it, "The Fan Hype Protocol." Knuckles: So are you saying I should isolate too. Sonic: I guess. Knuckles: Not exactly a good idea. What if you ran out of supplies? Sonic: Then I'll have one of my friends get it. Knuckles: But what if you really want to go somewhere? Sonic: I'd stay here. Knuckles: Hedgehog, you're being ridiculous. Sonic: Am I? Knuckles: Yes. Sonic: [thinks about it, then he realizes] Oh, dang it! Then I'll miss my runs. And Tails will miss his flyings. Proper exercise! Knuckles: And we can probably deal with those fans. We shouldn't cower from them, even though we hate being famous. Sonic: Treat them with respect. I know the warrior code. Knuckles: Well, I am about to get some lunch. Farewell, hedgehog. Sonic: Bye, Knuckles. [Hangs up] Well, that was interesting. Well, I might as well tell Tails the news. [Starts texting on his phone.] [Later on, Tails flies by.] Tails: So what Knuckles is saying we should deal with the fans? Sonic: Might as well, and I might wanna do something about the eight hundred thousand dollars I still have. Tails: Spend it on something useful. Sonic: Good idea, buddy. [So they run off to the store. They still get some fans going on to them. But they don't really mind now unless they're going too far. Being famous isn't everything, but you still have people that still care about you.]