To Build a Nest: Chapter 20 by themissingdays on DeviantArt (original) (raw)

Finding One's Footing

Leo stood before the skate park. It was quite a shock to see it. When they had first arrived at the park it didn't look like there was anything around. Yet upon getting to the top of the hill, Leo had discovered that not only was there a large playground but also a small skate park. RJ had brought along a smaller skateboard special for Leo while offering the larger one to Tanner. Leo had looked on enviously at Tanner's board. It looked cool with the logo for the skate company prominently displayed on a black background, not at all dissimilar to the board Leo had gotten from a kid at school long ago, before his Dad had snapped it in half. Leo's board however was the epitome of childish, emblazoned with colorful dinosaurs on their own skateboards decked out in pads and sunglasses.

“Sorry bud,” RJ said noting Leo's obvious displeasure at the graphics on the underside of his board.

“Its the best I could find on short notice, all the other ones at the store were plastic.”

Leo gave the man a small smile, shaking his head. “Its fine, I don't mind.”

“Alright then put on your helmets,” RJ said handing the boys each a helmet. Once again Leo could only look on with some jealously. Tanner's helmet was a plain black skaters helmet, although there were rubbery spikes going along the top of it that made it look like Tanner had a multicolored spiky mohawk. Leo's helmet went along with his board. It looked like the head of a dinosaur sporting large spikes on top. Tanner put on his own helmet well RJ plopped Leo's on his head buckling it for him, he then fiddled with the straps tightening them so that Leo's helmet didn't shift around on his head.

Leo grimaced a little, yet held back any complaints. He knew RJ was doing his best, and its not like this wasn't something Leo had always wanted to try, but he was really starting to feel like this was somehow done on purpose, which was ridiculous to think. Why would they all of a sudden start treating him like a little kid?

Tanner was already on his board rolling a round a little, although looking a little shaky.

“Pretty good there Tanner,” RJ said with a smile.

“Oh yeah,” Tanner said hopping off the board. “I did a little skateboarding back in the day.”

“You never told me you knew how to skateboard,” Leo said surprised.

“I didn't do it for long,” Tanner shrugged. “I just know enough to roll around, its not like I can do any tricks. Leo put his own board on the ground ready to jump on. He was eager to be able to do it like Tanner.

“Not so fast,” Desiree said putting a hand on Leo's head. “You're not quite ready yet.” she said. Leo was a bit curious as to what she meant. He had a helmet on didn't he? He followed her over to a bench where she had Kaylee sat nearby in a stroller. There was a drawstring bag sitting on the bench which Desiree loosened and dug around in for a moment before pulling out an elbow pad.

“You need pads first,” she said holding Leo's arm as she fastened the pad around his elbow. Leo's mouth twisted up in confusion and indignation. First off the pads matched everything else and had similar images on them that his skateboard did, second why did he need pads, Tanner wasn't wearing any?

“Why do I gotta wear these?” Leo said pulling his arm back.

“So you don't get hurt,” Desiree said as if it were obvious.

“But you're not making Tanner do it,” Leo argued.

“You know how Tanner is he would never agree,” Desiree said as she lifted up Leo's arm to put on another elbow pad.

“Well I don't either,” Leo said furrowing his brow. “Its not fair, if he doesn't have to wear them then neither should I.”

Desiree paused for a moment. She was unsure of how to proceed. Right now he certainly sounded like a pouty four year old, but she could certainly understand why an eighteen year old would protest. Given what today was about though and also what had happened at the music store when she had gotten just a little stern with him, she decided to push it a little.

“If you don't wear the pads then you can't skateboard,” Desiree stated. Leo's mouth dropped a little as he stammered out a little gibberish before falling silent. “Whats it going to be?” Desiree asked holding up a knee pad.

“Fine,” Leo grumbled crossing his arms. He let Desiree put the knee pads on him followed by some wrist guards. He probably looked ridiculous with all the pads on. He still didn't understand why he had to wear them, but he really wanted to skateboard, and if this is what he had to do then there was no other choice. When Desiree was finished she sat back. Leo looked somewhat dejected. She proceeded to wrap him up in a big hug.

“I just want you to be safe, okay,” she said releasing him. Leo gave a half smile nodding his head. She could tell the hug had actually made him feel better. “Are you going to go?” she then asked. Leo seemed to break out of his funk.

“Y-yeah,” he stammered a little flustered as he turned and ran towards the skate park where RJ and Tanner were. Desiree let out a sigh of relief, happy that she hadn't caused Leo to have a meltdown. She looked over to Kaylee who was looking at her with a content look.

“That was a close one hmm?” Desiree asked as she leaned towards her daughter. The baby gurgled a little as if she were responding to the question. “I know,” Desiree said. “I have to remember not to push him too much. Don't want him to think I would be an overly strict Mom.” she said as she began to let Kaylee play with her fingers. “What do you think, would Leo be a good big brother?”

Kaylee let out a gleeful little laugh.

“I think so too,” Desiree said.

Leo approached Tanner and RJ.

“Looks like you're ready to go,” RJ enthused.

“I guess,” Leo mumbled feeling completely foolish standing next to the them and being the only one in full pads. RJ set the skateboard down in front of Leo. “What do I do?” Leo asked almost looking as if he were mystified at what the object was for.

“You stand on it first of all,” RJ chuckled. Leo took a couple of cautious steps. Upon getting on the board he found it wobbled a little. RJ was nearby though putting his hands on Leo's back to help steady the boy. Once Leo got his balance he then looked to RJ.

“How do I go?” he asked sheepishly. Tanner rolled his eyes.

“You do it like this with your foot,” he said getting on his own board and propelling himself forward a little. Almost as if on cue, Tanner's board came to a sudden stop propelling him off the board and down on the ground. Tanner let out a pained yelp grabbing his leg which he had landed on.

“You okay,” RJ asked with some concern as he ran over and knelt down towards Tanner.

“I'm fine,” Tanner said gritting his teeth as he sat up. RJ could swear he saw tiny tears starting to form in Tanner's eyes. RJ moved Tanner's hands away seeing that he now sported a good scrape on his shin.

“You're going to want to get that cleaned,” RJ said. “Go and talk to Desi she has a first aid kit with her.”

“Yeah, okay,” Tanner said getting up off the ground and walking off. RJ then turned to Leo who was now standing off his board.

“Okay ready to try?” RJ asked. Leo shook his head. RJ cocked his head.

“I don't want to fall,” Leo said. “What if I scrape up my leg like Tanner?”

RJ gave a patient smile as he knelt down in front of Leo putting a hand on his shoulder. “You are going to fall,” RJ said. “No if's and or buts about it, hence why you got the pads on, its also the reason I told you to put on pants this morning so you don't scrape up your legs.

Leo looked a little surprised. Suddenly a lot of the little things that had been happening all morning made a lot more sense. Of course they had good reasons for making him do all those things. Leo felt a little silly now for thinking it had been weird at the time.

“So ready to try?” RJ asked. Leo gave a confident nod.

Meanwhile Tanner was sat on the bench as Desiree was knelt in front of him with a small first aid kit sitting on the ground next to her. She had an antiseptic cloth in her hand. As she put it on Tanner's knee, he let out a startled yelp.

“Oh sorry, does it hurt?” she asked, quickly withdrawing her hand.

“N-n-no,” Tanner stammered. “You just surprised me was all.” Desiree gave him a understanding look as she began to dab at his scrape gently. Tanner took in some air through his teeth with each dab. Desiree could only worry. It probably didn't feel great, but to an eighteen year old it would be just a mild discomfort if anything at all. This reaction from Tanner could only be another small tell that he and Leo were in the same boat. She just wondered if Tanner knew that as well? It was hard to think that he was unaware, the only question was if he was in denial about it or not? Desiree finished applying a band aid to Tanner's scrape. She then took a seat back on the bench after packing everything away. Tanner had not moved.

“You going back?” Desiree asked.

“I don't really want to skateboard anymore,” Tanner grumbled looking away. Desiree wasn't exactly sure what to make of this. Was he embarrassed, or was he actually scared of getting hurt again?

“Why don't you come join me and Kaylee, we were going over to the playground.” Desiree suggested.

“I'll just stay here,” Tanner said morosely as he leaned forward with his chin in his hands. Desiree picked up Kaylee out of her stroller holding her towards Tanner.

“C'mon, I'm sure Kaylee would like it if you pushed her on the swing,” Desiree said. Tanner turned to look at the baby with a stony look. Kaylee gave a laugh which seemed to soften Tanner's features. .

“Well, okay I guess,” Tanner said smirking. As the three of them walked towards the park Desiree looked over to where Leo and RJ were. Desiree smiled seeing the scene play out in front of her. Leo was riding on the skateboard his arms held out while RJ was holding both of his hands to keep him balanced while Leo rolled along. Leo had a huge smile on his face, while RJ shouted out encouragement. Turning away Desiree became confident that this was going to work.

Leo sat on his skateboard taking a breather. Things were going well. It had taken a little while but he was able to at least ride the board now, yet he still fell most of the time if RJ didn't at least have a hand on his back. RJ had left for a moment coming back with some drinks. He gave Leo a juice box with the straw already in the top. Leo was grateful however since he had worked up a little bit of a thirst. As Leo sat drinking his juice he looked over at some other kids who were atop a quarter pipe. He watched as they set their boards on the lip before stepping onto them and riding down the ramp, most of them were bailing out, yet a few of them made it to the bottom. Leo knew that if he really wanted to ride a skateboard he ought to be able to do that, right now he was doing little kid stuff. What the other kids were doing was real skateboarding.

“Ready to get back to it?” RJ asked. Leo stood up a rash of confidence filling him.

“I want to do that,” Leo said pointing to the ramp. Watching the other kids made it look easy and the ramp wasn't even that high up. RJ gave a muddled look.

“I don't think you're ready for that,” he said.

“Aww c'mon,” Leo mewled. “I have all these pads on, right?” RJ gave another look at the ramp and then back towards Leo, it was obvious he didn't much like the idea.

“Well if you really wanna,” RJ said relenting. Leo gave a happy chirp as he picked up his board and rushed off towards the ramp. Standing far away he had been rather confident, yet upon getting to the ramp it now looked bigger and more imposing. RJ came from behind and lifted Leo to the top of the ramp. A couple of the other kids took notice looking on with some interest. Leo found himself frozen as he looked down, he was really regretting his decision. RJ had been right, he wasn't ready for this.

“Are you going down,” one of the older boys asked. Leo looked at him like a deer in headlights. The other boy was probably around nine or ten years old. He wore a Sonic the Hedgehog shirt with some brown cargo shorts. His long blond hair spilling out from under his helmet. In Leo's estimation he looked much more like a skater than himself. Leo shirked back a little as an intense feeling of shyness overtook him. For some reason this kid seemed so much bigger than him, older even. Even if Leo knew that it wasn't technically true he still couldn't shake the feeling.

“He wants to try,” RJ spoke up putting hand on Leo's back if only to step him from stepping off the side of the ramp backwards.

“Oh you want some help,” the boy offered. RJ looked at Leo with a smirk.

“What do you think?” RJ asked. Leo gave a nervous look before nodding his head. He had wanted to try this, so he couldn't back down now.

“I'm Eli,” the boy beamed. “I'm here like every day so I can definitely teach you.”

“I'm RJ and this is Leo,” the man said. “Although this is Leo's first time skateboarding so I don't know if he's ready for this.”

“It shouldn't matter,” Eli responded. “My brother taught me how to skateboard and he made me go down the big ramp on my first day” Eli recounted finding nothing wrong with Leo's level of skill.

Eli then motioned Leo over to the lip and showed him how to put his board on the edge and hold it with his foot. “Then you just put your other foot on the front and down you go, easy peasy.”

Leo looked down, the height now seemed dizzying even if they weren't all that high up.

“I can't,” Leo said with a shaky voice. “I'm gonna fall.”

“Thats not a big deal,” Eli laughed. He then positioned his own board on the lip before going down as he did he fell going to his knees and sliding down the ramp. “See,” he said getting up. “You just got to fall on your knee's and then slide down on your pads. Leo was thanking his lucky stars now that he had the pads. Leo continued looking down, he was starting to feel like just refusing to go.

“C'mon Leo you can do it,” RJ cheered.

“I'm gonna fall I just know it,” Leo yelped. RJ then went and stood at the bottom stretching his arms out.

“I'll catch you if you do, so just go for it,” RJ said with a reassuring look. Leo looked at the man with his outstretched arms. Just knowing RJ was there was making him feel as if he just might be able to go through with it. Some of the other kids were now gathered around. They started chanting Leo's names and some of them were banging there boards on the ramp. Leo took a deep breath, it was now or never. He put his foot on the front and the board leaned forward, as soon as the front wheels hit the ramp Leo realized what a huge mistake this was. He instantly felt his feet leave the board as he fell forward. He let out a scared yelp before a moment later he felt himself falling into RJ's arms.

“Gotcha,” RJ said. Leo was frozen. It had all happened so fast. As soon as his mind caught up with his body he couldn't help the tears that bursted from his eyes and he began to cry. It had been so scary. RJ hugged him close before lifting him off the ground. Leo buried his face deeper into RJ's shoulder.

“Its alright, I got you,” RJ said as he patted Leo on the back.

“You should try again,” Eli said enthusiastically. Leo couldn't bear to face anyone at the moment. He felt so stupid and useless. He had failed and everyone no doubt thought he was the world biggest loser.

“Lets give him a minute,” RJ said offering Eli a smile before walking off a little from the crowd. Leo continued to cry as RJ bounced him up and down a little continuing to give Leo reassuring words.

After a little bit and after Leo's crying had subsided some RJ shifted him onto his hip. RJ put a hand on top of Leo's helmet making the boy look up at him.

“Leo its okay,” RJ said.

“No its not,” Leo said sniffling. “I couldn't do it, and now everyone thinks I'm dumb.”

“Nobody thinks that,” RJ said chuckling. “In fact I'm really proud of you.” The words hit Leo like a freight train as he was stunned into silence.

“P-proud,” he stuttered back.

“Of course,” RJ said. “You really went for it, that was a really brave thing.”

“But I failed,” Leo said screwing up his face.

“You absolutely did not,” RJ said with a serious look. “You aren't going to be good at things right away. But it doesn't mean you won't ever be able to do it.”

Leo looked down, so many things were playing across his mind. Two wills were battling it out. On one side was those old feelings, the ones that told him he wasn't good enough, that all the bad things that happened to him were his fault. Then there was the other one, a new feeling, the one that told him to trust what RJ was saying – the one that told him he was okay.

“You gave it your all,” RJ said. “That's all that anyone can ask.”

Leo looked at RJ his eyes wide like saucers.

“So what do we do now?” RJ asked. Leo wiped the tears from his eyes.

“I want to try again,” Leo said.

“You sure?” RJ said. “You don't have to push yourself.”

“I want to do it,” Leo said shaking his head. RJ carried him back over to the ramp setting him at the top.

“You gonna go for it?” Eli asked handing Leo his board. Leo nodded.

Leo tried for some time. He never made it down all the way but he got used to it enough that now when he did fall he slid down onto his knees as Eli had instructed and falling wasn't even scary anymore. After a while RJ didn't even need to stand at the ready to catch him. Leo looked ever determined as the rest of the kids were now crowding around cheering him on. After each attempt they would offer up advice. On Leo's last attempt he had even managed to stay on the board long enough to make it down the ramp. Thankfully RJ had plucked him out of the air before he face-planted onto the ground.

“Hey you made it down on that one,” RJ enthused.

“I did,” Leo cheered. He then let his arms fall down to his sides with a tired look. RJ could see that his hair was sticking to the side of his head with sweat.

“Maybe that's enough for today, you're looking pretty tired.” RJ noted.

“Kind of,” Leo said not able to stop a yawn from escaping. They said their goodbyes to the other kids.

“Come back soon okay,” Eli said extending his fist up towards Leo. “I'll teach you how to do an ollie next time.” Leo smiled as he gave the other boy a fist bump. As they walked back towards the bench, Leo squirmed a little.

“Can I ride my board back?” he asked. RJ smiled as he set him down on the ground with his board.

Desiree was walking back to the bench with Kaylee and Tanner, who seemed to be in a much better mood after having pushed Kaylee on the swing.

“Desi,” she heard Leo call out. She looked over to see Leo rolling across the skate park on his board. RJ was pushing him along as Leo wasn't yet coordinated enough to propel himself yet. He had a big smile on his face. Desiree was a little surprised to see how much progress he had made. Getting to the grass Leo ran towards her.

“Did you see me riding my skateboard?” he asked hopping up and down.

“Sure did,” Desiree said. “You looked like a real skater,” she praised patting him on his helmet, which seemed to make Leo smile even wider.

After a bit, Desiree found herself sat upon a picnic blanket eating lunch with the rest of the group. RJ and Tanner were engaged in some baseball argument, while Leo was making silly faces at Kaylee. She took a moment to really take in the scene. It was something she wanted to remember. Them all here perfectly happy, all their problems seeming so far away.

After everyone was done eating RJ began to pack up with Tanner's help. Leo was sitting next to Desiree sipping on another juice box.

“So how is Leo Day going so far?” Desiree asked.

“This is like the best day ever,” Leo said.

“Good to hear,” Desiree said with a small laugh. “And the fun isn't over yet.”

“Mhmm,” Leo said with a dreamy hum as he slumped against Desiree's side. She paused for a moment noting how naturally he had done so. Maybe this wasn't such a crazy idea. Leo seemed to be responding well. In fact he didn't even seem to question it any more when they did little things for him that any parent would do for their young child. She could see that he was seeking their attention, just like any little kid would do with their parents. Even now he had cuddled up to her completely unprovoked, as if he trusted them to be a source of comfort for him. Desiree then thought that perhaps now was a good time to ask him how he would feel if they adopted him. Maybe they didn't need to keep their plan a secret, perhaps they didn't need to convince Leo of anything? Desiree went to ask him looking down at Leo when she noticed he was out like a light. She looked at her phone noting the time. It was thirty minutes after his usual nap time. She smirked a little. RJ came back seeing that Leo was asleep.

“Guess we tired him out,” RJ said putting his hands on his hips. “Do you think we should call it early?”

“Nonsense,” Desiree said as she gathered Leo up into her arms. The boy stirred a little before nuzzling into her, remaining asleep. “He'll be ready for the next thing after his nap,” she said as she began to walk towards the car.