Lisa beach day by tj-caris on DeviantArt (original) (raw)

Lisa is merely...superior. Stronger than anyone with flawless balance and blinding speed, she's never lost a physical contest. Not only can she bench more than 500 pounds and run thirty miles an hour, she can also do rocket science in her head and speak 15 languages. She collects world records and degrees at will - how will a patriarchal world cope when the next evolutionary step is a woman better than everyone at everything? What might a regular day at the beach be like for such a superwoman?

“So, how was the fitness photoshoot?”
“Not a lot to say about it, I killed it in a little red bikini thing. It didn’t take too long.”
“Did you do other things? Have any fun?”
“Well afterwards I went down to the public beach. They were having a volleyball tournament deal and I went ahead and entered.”
“How’d you do?”
“I entered it. I won. They even had me try a match 1 on 2 afterwards, hoping they’d beat me that way. It didn’t work.”
“Did you make any one cry?”
“One or two people may have teared up, but I did get some shame tears when I entered the surfing contest.”
“You’re going to tell me you won that too.”
“I really shouldn’t have to. Anyway, it’s an old story, bunch of people who’ve been doing it for years were devastated when I showed them up. Oh, it almost got interesting on the way back. A two-hundred pound shark mistook me for something edible and tried to attack me.”
“You don’t look shark bit, are you alright?”
“I saw him coming and punched him to death first. Then I had him cooked for dinner for his audacity.”
“I hope he wasn’t something endangered.”
“Let’s see, they had a limbo contest…and while I have perfect form at that, the sheer diameter of my chest means I can only go so low.”
“So you opted out, not competing in something you couldn’t win.”
“Hah, you do know me… yeah, I watched mostly, learned how to play a few local instruments…”
“And after a couple hours they said you were like someone who’d been at it for years.”
“Oh, you do pay attention to my other stories. Good to know. I also took the opportunity to learn fire dancing stuff.”
“How’d that go?”
“Oh you know, I invented a few moves, took advantage of the fact I can jump over most people and spin the whole way. There was a standing ovation and everyone agreed it the best fire dance they’d seen. I got some death glares from the professional guys, so I let them try to arm-wrestle me for their pride.”
“Oh you didn’t. You’re terrible.”
“The whole outdoor party got in on it and I have another 147 wins to my arm wrestling record.”