bedlam by tunesan on DeviantArt (original) (raw)

It's been a while I make vents.
I hate holding it in but gotta act proffessional so no ruckus. but I'm just gonna let it out. it's getting too overwhelming.

Do I have to be happy ? Do I have to be angry ? Do I have to cry ?
What should I do ?
I had it enough.
I feel like I got no personal space and patient.
I got no genuine apology or thanks from a person that I'm trying to keep it together.
I've paid enough, and what I got ? talking nonsense and impatient.
stop potraying yourself as "nice and generous" person after you literally talk shit like saying I'm doing bad shit to hurt you. SINCE WHEN ????
And you're saying that I'm a whore because I hung out a lot. Do I have to stop spending time so I can spending time with you ?
Are you being possessive ? trying "talk" to me to change my behavior, mannerism, voice, style, and peferences ?
what the fuck do you want from me ??? lmao
You're sorry ? okay.
You feel bad for me ? lmao, not feeling bad for me hearing you the same talk multiple times ?
I HEAR ENOUGH, I READ ENOUGH, I HAD ENOUGH.
'the hell do you expect my answers be like ? Kindness again ? I ALREADY PAID THAT.
HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA ACT LIKE THIS ?
I'm trying to be happy, and have my ALONE TIME. do you think my simple "lol" is me being happy ? lol
FUCK OFF.
I'M CONFUSED
I'M ANGRY
I'M UPSET
I'M SCARED
I'M NOT HAPPY.
I'M TRYING TO BE HAPPY. I'M TRYING.
YOU KEEP SAYING I SHOULD FIND IT AND IT'S PRESSURING ME WHEN YOU TELL ME THAT ORDINARY LIFE IS HAPPINESS BUT NO.
STOP
JUST STOP.
STOP.
I'M TRYING.
I'M TRYING SO HARD.
IF YOU SAY YOU UNDERSTAND, THAN PLEASE UNDERSTAND. PLEASE.
you keep saying you do, but when I realized it, YOU DON'T. IT GIVES ME TEARS. JUST STOP.
STOP PRETENDING YOU KNOW EVERYTHING. STOP BARGING MY SPACES. JUST STOP.
as much as I listen, you don't listen back.
I expect you to listen me back. Honestly, I'm very dissapointed.
Why do you say "Why do you hate me so much" when I'm telling you to have patient with others ? what did I do ? Telling it absuvely ?? I didn't do any jack shit lol.
"She's probably sleeping and sick, so all you have to do to have patient."
IS THAT ABUSVE AND HATRED LANGUAGE ????
JUST WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO ? lol
what do you expect for my language ? kindness and respectful ? you say you gave your kindness and understanding to me. WHERE ??? LMAO
I vent my problems and you just laugh like it's a joke.
even gave the advice that's very something I would shit my pants.
What the hell do you want from me ? stop expecting shit.