Demi Lovato on Her New Musical Sound, Past Drug Abuse, and Body Positivity (original) (raw)
I first saw Demi Lovato perform at Jones Beach in New York in August 2010—and at 22, I was one of the oldest people in the arena. Lovato, then a Disney superstar, was on her Camp Rock 2 tour with the Jonas Brothers. I joined the sea of screaming tweens and sang along. So much has changed since then: Lovato left that tour early to seek treatment for cocaine use, bulimia, cutting, and bipolar disorder. She received intensive treatment in 2011 and in 2012 entered a sober-living facility for more than a year. Severing ties with Disney, she embarked on a major musical comeback, turning her dark times into smash-hit singles like “Skyscraper”; she also judged The X Factor USA, all the while speaking out about the mental health and drug abuse issues she survived.
Now it’s August once again. And Lovato, 24, is coheadlining a 44-city tour with, this time, just one Jonas brother, Nick. The singer-songwriter has hit a new level of fame: Her fifth album, Confident, debuted at number two; her new single “Body Say” is her eighteenth to land on _Billboard_’s Hot 100. And while Lovato’s fans—the Lovatics—have grown up with her, she has millions of mature female fans too these days. This year she performed for the Victoria’s Secret swimsuit special and the Grammys and the White House. Currently Lovato is focused on honing her sound (sexier, if “Body Say” is any indication): In a mogul move, she’s writing and recording music for her own label, Safehouse Records—a venture with Jonas; their manager, Phil McIntyre; and Island Records.
Akris at Neiman Marcus blazer. Junk Food Clothing Co. T-shirt. AG shorts. Bulgari necklace.
Carter Smith
All of that constitutes her career. But Lovato says she considers speaking out about addiction and mental illness her true purpose. She has lobbied Congress for mental health reform, started a program to cover treatment for people who cannot afford it, and continued to share her story, most recently in a powerful speech at the Democratic National Convention. She’s also now one of the owners of CAST Centers, the mental health and wellness facility where she herself sought treatment, and recently partnered with them to host group counseling sessions for fans before each concert, reaching 12,000 people in total; they’ll debut a wellness conference series in L.A. in November.
In June Lovato split from the partner who saw her through everything over the last six years, actor Wilmer Valderrama. She’s single now. She’s moving into her own house. She’s a new Demi. “That person I was when I was a lot younger is not who I am today,” she says. So who is the grown-up Lovato? I sat down with her to find out—but first I wanted to ask about those new beats.
GLAMOUR: You’re evolving toward this sexier sound. Why did you want to explore your sexuality in your music?
DEMI LOVATO: I had a conversation with Nick, who said, “You never write about sex.” And I was like, “What are you talking about? ‘Cool for the Summer.’ ” And he pushed back: “No, but you’ve never embraced that side of your writing.” I really hadn’t. I shied away from it; I have parents that’ll hear my music! But I realized I’m leaving out an element of adulthood. I wrote “Body Say” a few weeks later—that was liberating. I want to write more about it.
GLAMOUR: What has informed your attitude toward sexuality?
DL: Relationships, and being in tune with my body, and knowing what I want—that’s what “Body Say” is about.
GLAMOUR: If you’ve worked that all out at 24, I’m impressed. At 28, I’m still working on it. [Laughs.]
DL: Well, exploring—that’s what you have to do to find yourself sexually. You always think you have it figured out, and then you get older and you realize you didn’t. For now I’m content.
GLAMOUR: I heard that you were embarrassed to sing “Cool for the Summer” at the Nordic state dinner at the White House.
DL: Yes, I left it out of the set list because I was like, “Surely it’s too inappropriate for the White House,” and then [the First Lady] requested it. And so I was like, “OK, here we go!” [Laughs.] Like, “Tell me what you want, what you like, it’s OK.”
GLAMOUR: [Laughs.] What was it like singing those lyrics with the President sitting five feet away from you eating his salad?
DL: I didn’t look him in the eyes. And I didn’t look her in the eyes either. When I normally say, “Shh, don’t tell your mother,” I changed the lyric to “Shh, don’t tell the President.” [Laughs.]
GLAMOUR: Many fans have cheered you on as you’ve evolved, but when you posed nude for your “Body Say” art, some followers commented, “Put your bra on.” What do you say to people in that camp?
DL: You don’t say anything, because you can never win. Whether they’re saying that you’re ugly, or that you’re a whore, or that you’re a bad role model, or something else, you’re never gonna win.
GLAMOUR: I hate that people throw out the phrase bad role model when it comes to a woman embracing her sexuality.
DL: I was judgmental of artists who were exploring their sexuality, and I thought, Why are they doing that? They don’t have to. They’ve got a good voice.
GLAMOUR: Like who?
DL: Christina Aguilera, during Dirrty [in 2002]. I thought, Her mom’s gonna hear that—how is she not embarrassed? Now I realize these artists were embracing a part of life I should be OK singing about as well. There’s nothing wrong with a woman being proud of an element of her life that’s talked about in rap music all the time! We don’t have music that talks about sexuality from a female standpoint. You know that rap song “Beat the Pussy Up”? If a girl sang that—
GLAMOUR: “Beat the Dick Up”?
Diesel Black Gold leather dress, cotton shirt. Bulgari rings.
Carter Smith
Moschino jacket. American Apparel bodysuit. Colette rings.
Carter Smith
DL: First of all, I would love it. But secondly, it would be such a big deal. We live in an imbalanced society when it comes to encouraging male sexuality and discouraging female sexuality. In 20 years I hope we’ll look back like, Wow, that’s how it used to be.
GLAMOUR: You’re putting this new music out with your own Safehouse Records. Why did you, Nick, and Phil start a label?
DL: We wanted to help develop new artists that we believed in. We also wanted our music rights—if the label is making this much money off our music, why shouldn’t we?
GLAMOUR: And why together?
DL: I always ask Phil and Nick what they think. New music, anything. The other day I asked Nick what I should do on a date. He was like, “You should go bowling.” Ehh. But we all run things by each other anyway, so partnering up on a label only made sense.
GLAMOUR: You and Nick met through Disney years ago, and you’re still friends today. What connects you after all these years?
DL: There’s an element of trust that you don’t find with people nowadays. He’s family. I am the person who tells him things he doesn’t want to hear, like I told him to be more vulnerable with his music. And I was like, “Let people see how funny you are.” I want the world to be able to laugh the same way I do when I’m around him.
GLAMOUR: How do your Disney roots still manifest in you two?
DL: PTSD. [Laughs.] We used to work so much and so hard for very little that when our schedules get too busy, I immediately think about the past. It gives me anxiety, and it’s kinda like legit PTSD.… You work so hard, and you don’t really reap the rewards, or I didn’t. But I was on such a platform that gave me the rest of my career—I couldn’t complain. [So now] whenever our schedules start to get busy, I start getting triggered because the things I used to do to cope were unhealthy. When I have a long day, I think, if [I went back to those things], I’d be able to get through it. But we now work with our manager, and we have amazing schedules.
GLAMOUR: You and Nick are both single now. You’ve been on tour together. Are you each other’s wingman?
DL: We’re definitely each other’s wingman/woman. There was one night in New York where he introduced me to somebody. And Nick and I looked at each other and high-fived each other. [Laughs.]
GLAMOUR: You call yourself a feminist…
DL: I believe in gender equality.
GLAMOUR: And you’ve said before, in regard to Taylor Swift, “Don’t brand yourself a feminist if you don’t do the work.” How do you see yourself doing the work?
Her Headspace “I had to go through [losses] to know I could stay sober through anything,” says Lovato.
Carter Smith
DL: Just speaking out. I’m not afraid to talk about the fact that women get paid less than men in the United States and how unfair that is. Talking about it at all is doing the work. And I think every woman does her part in some way. But I think in certain situations, certain people could be doing more if they’re going to claim that as part of their brand. To be honest, and this will probably get me in trouble, I don’t see anybody in any sort of squad that has a normal body. It’s kind of this false image of what people should look like. And what they should be like, and it’s not real.
GLAMOUR: Well, there are many kinds of “normal” bodies. I think what you’re getting at is there’s just one type of body in that squad.
DL: It’s not realistic. And I think that having a song and a video about tearing Katy Perry down, that’s not women’s empowerment. We all do things that aren’t, but I have to ask myself, Am I content with calling myself a feminist? Yes, because I speak out.
GLAMOUR: Let’s talk about your advocacy on behalf of mind and body health. You share your experiences so we can learn from them.
DL: Right—when you’re an artist, you have a platform that can reach millions. I feel it’s selfish when you don’t use your voice, because then you’re just relishing the attention—you’re not using it for good. I have felt uncomfortable having people say, “You’re my idol,” because I want them to idolize God. I want them to idolize somebody that’s done a lot. So I think it’s important that artists use their voices for so much more than just their talent.
GLAMOUR: How do you feel different today than in 2010?
DL: I feel healthy, I feel happy. Back then I felt an emptiness inside of me, and I reached for so many things—a person, a substance, a behavior—to fill that void. And now there’s not a void anymore. The void is filled by me taking care of myself.… Getting sober was difficult. I went into rehab, I came out, and I didn’t stay sober. I still had issues occasionally. Now some days it’s difficult; some days it’s easy. But I like to focus on what I’m doing now, which is giving back. I’ve done interventions with people I’ve been close to.
GLAMOUR: Really? How so?
DL: In one situation a mother called me and said, “Hey, so-and-so is doing this and this. We’re terrified for her health. I need your help.” So Mike [Bayer, founder of CAST Centers, whom she credits with helping save her life] and I flew out for 11 hours to be with this person, and it led to an intervention with her family. Sometimes it’s dramatic, but mental health, as a whole, has to become mainstream. You don’t have to be at rock bottom to take care of yourself. You don’t have to be a drug addict to care for your mind. If everybody in the world saw a therapist, we would have a better world.
GLAMOUR: Do things besides a busy schedule still trigger you?
DL: Yeah, of course. Seeing cocaine in movies. I’ve never watched The Wolf of Wall Street. I can’t. I don’t like to go out to clubs, because I find myself seeing remnants of drugs in the bathroom. I did the Victoria’s Secret Swim Special, and being surrounded by supermodels’ bodies was triggering to me. I remember asking, “How do you maintain your figure?” Some said, “I really have to work at it.” Others said, “It’s genetics.” It was interesting to hear that it wasn’t through unhealthy [behaviors]. It was a great learning experience. I still felt sexy, having a different body than these women. I had Wilmer there, who loved my curves—that helped.
GLAMOUR: You and Wilmer ended your relationship in June. How did it feel to part ways with a man who knew your history?
DL: I think it’s healthy to be able to start over with someone else. Being sick was always a part of my relationship with him; I always had something wrong with me. I needed to let go of that. It was hard to depart from somebody who saw everything, but it may be nice to start fresh with somebody. Because that person I was when I was a lot younger is not who I am today.
GLAMOUR: You seem comfortable with your body now. You did the no-makeup, no-clothes, no-retouching photos for Vanity Fair; you’re nude again for the “Body Say” art. What changed in you?
DL: Focusing on food and exercise changed my life. Someone said to me recently, “You wouldn’t put diesel in a Bentley.” When you treat your body like a Bentley, you value yourself and you start to look at your body differently. I work out every day or six days a week—that’s what I need to stay stable up here. [Points to her head.]
GLAMOUR: You’ve said social media comments about your body hurt you, but you still post photos of your body. Why?
DL: Because I don’t look at the criticism anymore. If somebody calls me fat, even in a vulnerable moment, I laugh to myself and think, I’m doing everything I can, so there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t have a six-pack. Maybe I don’t even want a six-pack. It doesn’t sound very appealing.
GLAMOUR: What do you do in moments when you’re feeling weak?
DL: I voice it, “Hey, guys, not a big deal, but I really wanna throw up right now. I just had to say it.” Because when you talk about it, you take the power away from it.
GLAMOUR: I went through a time, in college, where I binged. I was so embarrassed.
DL: It’s not embarrassing. Don’t say that.
GLAMOUR: Thanks. Opening up to a friend helped me work my way out of it.
DL: Right. Binge eating is another eating disorder that people really don’t realize is a problem. Once I got into recovery from anorexia and bulimia, I started binge eating. I would look at my body and think, What am I doing to myself? I still deal with it. I’m back on track now, but I dealt with a lot of death this past year.
GLAMOUR: You’ve been through a lot of loss—your great-grandmother and great-grandfather passed away.
DL: Yes. Four relatives, a friend, two dogs. I had to go through that to know I could stay sober through anything. To know I could be happy through anything. I’ve grown up a lot over the past year, and I’m grateful for that growing-up part.
Stylist: Elizabeth Stewart
Emily Mahaney is a senior editor at Glamour.