Kelly's review of Horns (original) (raw)

• Home
• My Books
• Browse ▾
  • Recommendations
  • Choice Awards
  • Genres
  • Giveaways
  • New Releases
  • Lists
  • Explore
  • News & Interviews
  • Art
  • Biography
  • Business
  • Children's
  • Christian
  • Classics
  • Comics
  • Cookbooks
  • Ebooks
  • Fantasy
  • Fiction
  • Graphic Novels
  • Historical Fiction
  • History
  • Horror
  • Memoir
  • Music
  • Mystery
  • Nonfiction
  • Poetry
  • Psychology
  • Romance
  • Science
  • Science Fiction
  • Self Help
  • Sports
  • Thriller
  • Travel
  • Young Adult
  • More Genres

Discover new books on Goodreads

Meet your next favorite book

Kelly's Reviews > Horns

Horns
by

In order to enjoy this book for the disappointment it is, I suggest the following for the over 21 crowd:

Take one sip every time...:
Someone exclaims any one of: "No!"; "Oh my God!” “What ARE you?”
A character or location from a Stephen King novel is mentioned.
You want to slap the main character and tell him to man up.
Merrin’s hair is described.
The pace becomes inert.
The word devil appears. (*Warning* you may get intoxicated from this action alone)
The setting is either at the evil knieval trail or Lee’s house.
His style of writing makes you question if he really is King’s son.
You revisit a scene/character that has already been described ad nausea.

Take two sips every time...:
Plausibility exits stage right.
Something way too convenient is revealed, but then just as quickly is dismissed.
The narrator repeats himself.
An animal/reptile dies.
After countless pages of unnecessary descriptions of inanimate objects and places, you realize he is King’s son.
You can predict the outcome of each introduced character. (*Warning* this happens with every character)
You yawn, doze off, skim, or rub your temple in frustration.

Down the bottle every time …:
You feel a headache coming on because just as it was starting to get interesting, Hill slips into the past without even a head’s up or Scooby effect.
You start screaming, “Ok, but _why does he have horns?!_”

*And for all you tolerant drinkers out there who haven’t had enough, I DARE you to drink every time you think a question, any question, is going to be answered...

*Sidenote:
If you’ve found one likeable/fleshed-out character in this book – you’ve drank too much. Step away from the computer and dial 9-1-1.

Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read_Horns_.

Sign In »

Reading Progress

January 1, 2010 –Finished Reading

March 27, 2010 – Shelved as:horror

Comments Showing 1-50 of 77 (77 new)

back to top

Add a reference:

Search for a book to add a reference

add: link cover

Welcome back. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account.