Take this handgun to my eyes.... (original) (raw)

	[25 Feb 2005|12:41pm]
[ **mood** | smirk ] holy shitty, what is this nonsense? mar, updating her livejournal?well the answer to that is yes. i am updating.where to start? ahh here we go.school blows. my genetics class is literally raping my ass with its hardness. the only test i've ever failed since i left lbhs, was my first genetics test. class average was soo low so you can't really put the blame on me; theres only so much studying i can do. erg.everything else is relatively good. people are insane and completely all over the place, but im playing switzerland and just hanging out relaxing all cool and shooting some bball outside of school. but when a couple of guys who were up to no good, started making troubele in my neighbor hood. i got in one little fight and my mom got scared she said you're moving with auntie and uncle in bel aire. i whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and had fuzzy dice in the mirror. i pulled up to the house arround 7 or 8 so i yelled to the cabby 'yo homes smell ya later.' took a look at my kingdom, i was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of bel aire.well now that thats outta my system, on to more important matters. such as how i woke up next to the most beautiful person this morning. all i can think about is how wonderful that moment was and all i can do is 'smirk'...sigh...<3well im done...phosphoralation.
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	[12 Feb 2005|01:48am]
[ **mood** | worthless ] i throughly enjoy being bipolar. it really ya know. makes me appriciate things.sike, im completely lying thru my teeth. i hate my life right now. i hate how one minute im the happiest person ever, then five minuteslater im ready to jump off a building and end it all. boy am i glad i got those wonderful feelings back. theres just something wrong with me i guess. something that i can't describe or fully come out and say. something so hidden in my subconscious that it can't even be identified by all the shrinks in the tristate area. my cookie supply is running low so soon i'll need something else to use to fill that void that i have. but knowing my pessism that void will still be there and make me feel just as miserable as i felt before.something tells me staying in was a bad idea. because now i just feel worse. and the fact that i just spent the last 45 minutes crying my eyes out to two songs just isn't helping me at all. konstantine and i kissed a drunk girl by soco just have so much meaning behind them for me. all i want to do is just curl up in a ball next to someone and not feel so worthless. and i want to come out with something to say for once. everytime i want to talk, nothing. but when people don't want to talk thats all i can do.im getting my nose peirced tomorrow and i know its going to hurt like a bitch and im going to cry.i want to get out of biddeford! i hate college i want to go home already! why isn't it sprin break yet???!?!?
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	[23 Jan 2005|07:23pm]
[ **mood** | dirty ] so yea..im updating my livejournal because i never do that. im in maine, and it snowed alot. 2 feet.it was fun playing in it last night. completely shitted last night me my roomies, one of ther boyfriends, our "other halves", and some others went "clubbin'" then walked arround campus playing in the snow and causing general mischef...fun times..im watching margaret cho stand up and its so funny. you all need to go out and rent it and watch it.
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	[11 Jan 2005|01:35pm]
[ **mood** | killmenow ] i feel like a huge truck just came and smashed me to peices. nothing is of value anymore and i just can't shake this feeling of being completely unneeded, and that i've fucked everything up arround me. everything is crashing and burning and i just can't stop it
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	[13 Dec 2004|01:42am]
[ **mood** | crappy ] 100 things you never knew about me..1.brand new is the reason i don't listen to street punk anymore.2.they are also my favorite band.3.a friend of mine used to live across the street from vinnie and garrett.4.i've seen them walking arround town, and at coldstone creamery.5.im more addicted to coffee then any med/law school alive and im only an undergrad.6.im a Biochemistry major. 7.but i have to take chemistry over the summer.8.i go to the university if new england in biddeford maine9.i hate the state of maine with an undying passion10.but i love the people i've met up here almost as much as i love my friends back home.11.im the oldest of 4 and i love my siblings.12.my parents have a hard time telling my baby picutes from my little sisters because we look that much alike and most of the baby pictures of me don't have dates on them.13.i can't function properly unless i have one gay person arround me/friends with me14.im single, and not enjoying it in the least bit15.i love the llbean factory store in freeport maine.16.my friends back home make fun of me for going to school in maine.17.i love my friends more then my family18.im origanally from long island new york.19.i miss it to death when im at school and hate the place when im there.20.i miss new york city.21.i love thai food.22.im vegetarian.23.i hate the color purple, the color not the book.24.i listen to dave mathews and am not ashamed of it.25.same goes for jason mraz, phish, alman brothers, and old school blink 182.26.i like it when im awake for the sun rise.27.im an insomniac.28.im not really happy ever, but i have no reason to be sad.29.i want to go to med school.30.i live on the beach but i rarely ever go there during the day time.31.i am a little kid at heart.32.i watch entirely too much television. 33.i can qoute almost every simpsons episode ever made.34.i used to play lacrosse.35.i played varsity for 5 years.36. even though you'd expect me to never leave the couch.37.im a cuddle slut.38.gender doesn't matter when i cuddle with people.39.but im straight.40.i love food. 41.i miss my grandma more then i miss my mom right now.42.my dad is my therapist/best friend in the entire world.43.i love love44. i have an abnormally large belly button. wanna see?45.i throughly enjoy being really short.(im 5'1)46.i have little to no self confidence.47.the oc is my favorite show.48.i have an obsession with mischa barton.49.and marilyn monroe.50.and jude law.51.i want to have an amazing fashion sense, but im stuck on the whole tee-shirt and jeans look. 52.my mom hates me, and pretends to like me very well.53.i wish i was agent m from tsunami bomb.54.i want to cure something, or mean something to someone in the future.55.i am irish, german and czechloslovokian.56.my middle name is zavodsky, and its my moms maiden name.57.im very jelous of my friend mel, because she's engauged already.58.i hate talking about myself.59.and that makes doing this survey really hard.60.im obsessed with an old crush from home.61.i love nyc more then my home town.62.one of my roomates has the same name as one of my pet birds back home(cindy)63.the same situation goes for my last boyfriends current girl friend(jons dog maggie).64.i make random noises.65.it drives my roomates crazy.66.i talk to myself.67.if i don't know you im very quiet and people think im a bitch because of that.68.im very moody.69.people don't take me seriously because im so cute.70.im not making myself look better by saying that either.71.thats what people tell me all the time.72.especially when im mad.73.my favorite kiss was in the pouring rain, huddled in my "dates" sweatshirt under a street light while waiting for a cab home.74.i love boston.75.i love taking the train from maine to boston and looking at the scenery.76.i love looking out the window from that train when im in new hampshire the most.77. i love to go to new places, but i hate the process of traveling.78. my twin goes to school at bc, and i met her on the bus back to school after thanksgiving break.79.im a sucker for anything acoustic.80.im petrefied of needles.81.when i was little it took atleast 3 nurses to hold me down when i needed shots.82.i still cry when i get shots.83.speaking of shots, i drink alot.84.more then i should, butmy tolerance has increased since i've come to college.85.i hate myself alot.86.i feel worthless all the time.87.i became friends with my best friend over a tamagotchi in 5th grade.88.since then we've been inseparable.89.to the point that i've ditched doing a paper on time because i wanted to go to boston to vist her because i missed her more then life.90.i just ran outside my dorm to smoke a ciggarette instead of finishing this survey.91.i can never stay awake in my friend darcys car whenever we drive places.92.same goes for stefs.93.i spent every friday of the last 3 years in a bookstore while my best friend worked, only to do nothing else for the night.94.i want to go to germany.95.i think im going to canada for spring break; all 4 days of it.96.i refer to one of my best friends as anus.97.and i refer to another one of them as "the gaysain"98.i like doritos on my bagels.99.before comming to college, i had never step foot in a wal-mart.100.now my idea of an eventful evening involves going to either wal-mart at 11 at night or to the llbean factory store at 2 am.
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