blueyes5184 (original) (raw)
Fri, Jan. 5th, 2007, 09:36 am
So I fell off the face of the earth for a bit.
The last past month was one of the most hectic periods of time I've ever had the displeasure to live through.
Finals, Christmas, Christmas shopping...exaustion...these things take up time. I'm just glad they're over.
Finals, wait, correction: Midterms, (in law school our classes are year long and are solely based on two tests: a midterm and a final. I know, makes total sense to me too.) was maybe the most stressful/tiring period of my life. When we entered school they told us that it was going to be like a marathon. I thought they were being metaphorical. I was mistaken. By the end of them, I was giddy from lack of sleep and was so numb in every way imaginable that it was almost scary. But, they're over and that's all I really care about. Getting the grades back however, is a differently story entirely, but I digress.
Christmas was nice, but I didn't really get to enjoy it. Midterms went all the way to the 20th and my family was celebrating our Christmas Eve on the 23rd, so I had to do a mad shopping spree in the lull in between. Not so fun. Not so safe either. People are crazy. Being holed away from humanity for a month caused temporary social retardation. I felt like I was 5 and couldn't understand why the big kids were being so mean. But on the whole, the holiday was nice. All my sisters were over and we rested and just ate alot.
I'd like to take this moment and publicly declare my obsession over "Missed Connections" on Craigslist. I secretly think its the most romantic thing ever, or the creepiest, depending on my mood. If you're not aware of this, I suggest you check it out...immediately. Explaining it would take to long, so I'll just give an example: Say you're in a coffee shop and you see an incredibly cute guy sipping a latte and reading the world section of the newspaper. You think "So cute. And I totally love how he is wearing a shirt that is inside out." But you're a giant sissy, and you secretly pine after him instead of saying hello. Wellllll never fear! Now you can "re-connect", so to speak, and in the safe anonymity of the Internet! You basically just put up a post in the Missed Connections section and basically write out your thought pattern (or make it into full sentences instead of one word urges), where the connection was, and voila! Instant romance! Or not. But still, I love it. I have the secret hope that someday I'll see one about me. Cheesy, yes. Would I ever respond, probably no. You can't trust people these days after all.
Since I've been off from school I've read 7 books. How I missed you leisure reading!
Remember my post in the somewhat distant past about showers and weddings? Well, I had to go to a wedding last weekend and the next day someone I know got engaged. Then I found out that three other people I know will be getting engage in the next few months too. I wanted to vomit. Not that I'm not happy for them, because I am. I'm all for love and binding yourself to another person for all eternity. (No, that wasn't sarcastic or even tinged with bitterness.) But, really. We're not old. In fact, I'm amazed we're allowed out at night by ourselves. It just freaks the shit right out of me that all these people are getting married and settling down. Granted most are a few years older, but the upcoming ones, not so much. Actually, they're all some of my closer friends/acquaintances. I just....ugh. I can't even articulate it. So I won't. It just felt nice to vent to an unbiased forum.
I saw Blood Diamond this weekend. I initially didn't want to see it, but it was bloody amazing. I sobbed like a little girl the last half of it. But it was powerful. That's what I loved so much about it. And Leonardo DiCaprio? Amazing. I never really liked him (Jack from Titanic always struck me as a sissy boy idiot.) but I think I'm a little bit in love now. Okay, okay, alot in love.
Insomnia is also a new thing for me lately. Not as fun as I thought it might be.
I keep listening to Say Anything. Anyone who writes lyrics like they do, are ok in my book. Plus, how can you not love a song called "It's a Metaphor, Fool?"
Oh! I almost forgot! I kept checking my livejournal for friend updates, because I always like to see what people are writing about and from about the 20th until two days ago, no one updated. Or so I thought. For some unknown reason, my livejournal wasn't telling me when my friends were posing and I thought that while I was enduring finals week, I missed something, like a nuclear fallout, and that nobody was updating. So, the other day I come on and I suddenly have 10 entries from other people that I had missed. It was distressing. Same goes for Fictionpress and their "story/author alerts." They just aren't coming to my email. I want to kick something. How am I supposed to read what's going on in other people's lives if I'm not alerted to it?! Because God knows, I can't be left to live my own.
One last thing: I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. That is all.
Sun, Oct. 22nd, 2006, 06:17 pm
My heart burns. And not in a good way.
I have heartburn. Raging, uncomfortable heartburn.
This is the exact reason why I stopped taking naps. I tell everyone its because I just don't like to nap (Lies. Who doesn't like to nap? And why do my friends believe that line?), and because I wake up grumpier than if I would have stayed awake (which is true). But my main motivation is the god awful feeling I'm feeling right now. Damn you acid reflux and my sensitive esophagus.
I'm also boycotting showers. Not the "warm, wet" kind, but the "wedding" and "baby" variety.
Today was my 5th wedding shower this year. I didn't go. I refuse. I'm so sick of them and their mind-numbing effect on all present. It was sorta cute the first time, but by number 3 you never want to see "Bride Bingo" again. Ever. I've decided when I get married (ha), we're ordering pizza, eating it on paper plates and no games will be involved. I'd maybe make an exception for Disney SceneIt (because I love that game) but nothing that has the words "Bride", "Wedding," or "Honeymoon" in the title.
I'm also disgusted with the fact that practically everyone I know suddenly decided to get hitched. Bitter? Maybe. Okay, yea. But, really, if I get invited to one more, I'll vomit. The brides and grooms are getting progressively younger too. The first couple was 26-27, but now we're creeping closer and closer to my age and its freaking me out more than anything else. People under 25 shouldn't get married. The impulse section in our brains isn't mature until then, therefore, no serious, legal status changing events should occur before 25. And because I still think I'm an 18 year old half the time and assume everyone else is the same way.
School is tiring, hence the reason for naps. I can't wait for Thanksgiving already.
I gave the blind date boy, as I so fondly refer to him, my email. However, my mom came back and said that he wanted my number. So I facebook stalked him. That's right. I'm not ashamed of it. I couldn't find him though. I still haven't decided whether I should or not in the meantime.
Other men in my life are too much of a distraction right now. I can't be bothered with the younger friend, and my ex has been popping up more than I'd like lately. For now, I'm pretending the don't exist.
Halloween is in 9 days! I'm being a salt shaker. Envy me.
On Friday, me and my friend Matty stayed til about 10 at night in the law library. We were the last ones left in the whole place. Neither of us had eaten all day and we were debating the pros and cons of eating (I was against. Why? See first sentence.) When we left the library, a pizza box was sitting on the table outside in the lounge. I walked over to it, opened it, and a whole pizza was inside. So we took it. If anyone saw a girl running from the Law School laughing manically with a pizza box, it totally wasn't me. Oh and the boy running behind her wasn't anyone she knew either. Seriously.
Brand New is coming out with a new album November 24th! I can't express the joy! They're only my favorite band of all time. They put up their new song on myspace and I've had it on repeat for an hour. My mom hates me as a direct result.
Back to the grind. If anyone ever wants to know about federal jurisdiction, I'm your girl. Remember that, it could be useful.
Mon, Oct. 9th, 2006, 11:26 pm
So, I've been M.I.A. for awhile.
I'm pretty sure it has to do with the fact that school owns me. When people ask me how my classes are, I've given up using words. I only grunt, snort, or laugh manically because adjectives just don't do the job anymore. However, it is getting better. I swear it. Maybe.
My mom called me today and this is how the conversation went:
Mum: Rach, what's your phone number?
Me: Uh, a) my own mother doesn't even know my phone number and b) you just called me, how do you not know it.
Mum: You're on speed dial.
Me: Oh. Well, what do you want it for?
Mum: *long pause* (this immediatley puts me into paranoid mode because long pauses are never good and especially when they involve my mother)
Me: As in your boss? Why in God's name would she need it?
Mum: uh...her step-son's friend just broke up with his girlfriend and she wants to give him your number! Isn't that great! He's a law student too!
And that is what my life has come to. My mom's boss is trying to find me dates. However, I actually found this hilarious. In fact, I laughed so hard that people stared at me in Starbucks. I also promptly called my best friend to relive the ridiculousness of it all. In case you were wondering though, I gave her my email. I wasn't having some strange guy call me just so we could sit awkwardly on the phone for 20 minutes. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not that desperate...yet. But we'll see what comes of it. If anything. I have a feeling this kid is going to be as wary as me and here's to hoping that he "loses" my email.
Speaking of my mother, another quick anecdote to give you a better picture of my mother and my household in general:
I had maybe the worst day of my life last week. Older students came in to talk to us and basically made all the first years crap their pants. So I came home and was a millimeter from tears (which is a friggin cause for panic as it is) when my mom walks in. I'm laying face down on my floor, because it seemed like the thing to do at the time, and she asked what was wrong. So I told her. And what was her answer to my moment of crisis and self doubt? Margaritas.
I love that woman.
Remember the guy quasi- issue that I had mentioned some time back, yea well that's not going away. Apparently willful ignorance isn't a remedy for situations like that. Go fig.
Phrases that I use more often than I'm comfortable with (I blame school):
"I'll cut you."
"I'll slit your throat" or some variation involving slitting and body parts
"Tag jurisdiction"
"Clearly...."
And the f bomb
Ahh, the joys of higher education.
21 DAYS UNTIL HALLOWEEN!
Tue, Sep. 19th, 2006, 09:54 pm
Just call me organized...or not
I'm into list making lately.
I don't know if that's the compulsive in me, or I just really like the scholarly sound of it.
Without further ado:
Things that make me bitter:
1.) Beachbum themed weddings in October
2.) Double class periods
3.) The Financial Aid Office
4.) Westlaw training
5.) Having to flash my id at R rated movies
6.) Every other tv show having their season premiere's this week but Lost.
Things that make me unbelievably happy:
1.) Autumn
2.) The word "lovely"
3.) Snuggling into my bed
4.) Cold beer
5.) Hugs
6.) Lost/The Office/House
That is today's addition of likes and dislikes of me, the awesome, the tired, the...Rachel. Maybe I'll actually put something in paragraph form next time. But since I don't have much to talk about because I'm owned by school (along with the rights to my first born...), maybe not.
Thu, Sep. 7th, 2006, 09:57 pm
You know you are about to have a meltdown of apocalyptic proportions when...
1.) You get into a blow out with your mother because she accidentally shrunk two of your shirts and didn't put the other ones in the dryer
2.) You almost start to cry when your sister tells you to wait five minutes while she gets ready
3.) Jessica Simpson actually said something that made sense
Come on Friday! Mama needs a rest! (or meds)
I heart school.
Thu, Sep. 7th, 2006, 03:12 pm
Denial is not a river in Egypt....yea I said it.
I hate reality tv.
So, school owns my life and the life of my first born child. I realize that its grad school and therefore more work than undergrad, but still...it's a little like being kicked in the face by an old woman. In my personal experience I never did school work. Ever. High school...ha. Undergrad...haha. And I did well. A little conceited? Maybe, but it's true. Law school though? Instead of using an adjective, I'll give you a few examples: you're late to school if you roll in later than 7. Most people are there between 6-6:30. And if you're in bed before 1 it's a miracle. (Considering I'm actually a 86 year old in a 22 year old's body, this is ridiculously late. I miss my 11:00 bedtime.) Needless to say, these past few weeks have been an adjustment period. It's getting better now though. Once you figure out a rhythm it's not so bad. Or I've just gotten used to working like a pack mule. Either one.
In other news, I've been feeling a little apprehensive about one of my friends lately. He is originally from Connecticut and moved here a few weeks ago. Him and I have been friends for a couple years and everytime he comes in, we always are glad to see each other and have some good music conversations.
When he moved here, I was sorta, sometimes, not really, dating this kid that we're mutual friends with. (I also should add he lives with my real Ex...you know what I mean, the Ex that completely fucked you up for the rest of the male population or at least in my case, even more than I already was...but I digress). But that didn't pan out and I've been single probably since a week before school started.
Enter the weirdness. For the past couple of days he's been texting me alot and asking when we were going to go hang out. Now, this seems innocent enough (and granted I am fucked up...see note above...) but he is getting progressively insistent and its weirding my shit right out. At first it was just a "when are we going to hang out" to getting 5 texts in a 3 hour period asking me what I was doing and if we were going to go out. Now, I understand some people, not me, like to have their plans solidified. I however, do not. I'm not a fan of concrete plans. I don't like to completely commit until I know I can absolutely do it. Commitment issue? Maybe, but I still reserve the right to do what I want. All the time and everytime. And the fact that he's doing this turns me off to him completely. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but if this is going where I think it is (please God no) then this is going to suck. Suck, suck, suck. He's such a nice kid, but a) I see him as a kid and b) I'm not remotely attracted to him. I mean he's cute. But especially after recent events and his text frenzy, I'm not even close to interested. There's something about someone trying to pursue me too hard that makes me instinctively flip the bird and go find myself the closest guy who is completely ambivalent and emotionally unavailable. So, the moral of this story is I'm really, really hoping I'm wrong and that this will blow over because if it continues a) I'll hurt him. No doubt about it. and/or b) I'll start to hate him. I hate pushy guys. I hate being pushed period and if this keeps up, all contacts with me will not.
Why can't guys just read our minds? It would be so much easier...and peaceful...and convenient...need I go on?
Two more days til Friday! My big plans...couch laying and spending more than 5 seconds talking to my friends and family. Maybe shopping will make the agenda too. But considering all I have want to wear is sweatpants, probably not.
Ever since school started I've become even more avid in my fictionpress/fan fiction browsing. There's something about pleasure reading during class or break time that makes me feel like a rebel. That and I just dig reading the stories some people are putting online. There's some great stories out there and I heart finding new ones. Like a secret no one else knows about yet.
I've got homework to do though and stories to browse, so I'm done. Plus, I've rambled enough.
Viva la blog.
Tue, Aug. 29th, 2006, 03:59 pm
I'm supposed to be doing a ridiculous amount of work right now, but instead I've decided to buy songs off itunes and pretend that I'm Cyndi Lauper.
Helloooooo, sleep deprivation.
P.S. I've had the lyrics to "Surprise, surprise" by Starting Line stuck in my head for days. I know, I know, Starting Line?! But really, it captures my mood lately and I'm a sucker for a good "go fuck yourself" song.
Maybe I'll post on the reason, or should I say the person, for my mood someday. Brace yourselves in the meantime.
Sun, Aug. 27th, 2006, 11:44 pm
Rantings of a technological idiot
So recently I've had the wild urge to start updating my stories again and my livejournal account. It might have something to do with the fact that I've turned into a hermit, or...it might not. Either way, I feel expressive!
Following that vein of thinking, I'm trying to figure out how to link my story from this lovely little page, but I'm thinking that may require a paid account and if that's the case...well ha. All the money I have at present is dedicated to the get me through law school account which is dwindling because I went out for margaritas last night.
But, I'm sure there's a way to link to my fictionpress account and said story, but I'll have to look into that, and by "look into that" I mean asking my sister's web-designing boyfriend to do it for me. Now that's what I call self-sufficiency.
On to another topic...I started law school this week. At first I thought I was going to pass out from the stress induced heart palpitations, but actually, I kinda like it. The subject matter is interesting (to me at least) and even though it is going to take over my life (I should be briefing cases right now as a matter of fact...) I still dig it.
The people there are great too. This is me being stereotypical and judgmental, but I thought there would be more high-maintenance, frat types prancing around. You know what I mean, the perfectly coiffed, make-uped, popped collar idiots who make you want to stab your eyes out when you hear them say "So, I was totally drunk last night and I puked all over this car and it was sooooo funny! Brad totally laughed at me and then I went back to his apartment and did him." And then I remembered it was law school.
The people there are so down to earth though and I already feel like I've made some really good friends.
Tomorrow is Sunday by the way. How I hate/love them.
Thu, Aug. 10th, 2006, 02:08 pm
I've realized I've been a member of livejournal for roughly a year and have never updated...not once. I am the poster child for laziness and apathy. So, since I'm starting a new phase of life in two weeks (aka Law School) I've also decided to start a new routine of updating. However, I get the very distinct feeling I'll get more out of it than anyone else.
Hoorah for anonymous dumping of emotional garbage. God Bless you internet.