this heart will start a riot in me. (original) (raw)

importante.

January 8th, 2008 (10:04 pm)

new lj account.

shelbysmiles.

i probably already added you.

(no subject)

January 6th, 2008 (01:11 pm)

i have this ridiculous urge to dye my hair. and it's annoying me that ideas are lacking. give me some, please?

so. i have a lot of inspiration and motivation for a photoshoot right now, and no model. it seems everyone is busy. that, or i'm unable to contact them. i could cry. i haven't been this inspired this much on months-COME TO THINK OF IT...the last time i had a lot of inspiration, i couldn't get a model either. WHY?! and i can't find an activity to drain this creativity from me so it's just sitting there. all these ideas are stuck in my head and i can't get them out. i want to scream. oh, self-portraits are always an option, shelby. too bad my new camera can't stand on it's own like my old one. too bad it, as far as i know, has no delay like my old one. why not use my old one? it'll take me 234567890 tries to get the fucking shot because i can't see how fucked up my face/position looks. too bad it doesn't have a screen i can flip over like my new one.

kill me.
i dislike using " ! " because i think it looks weird.
and when i read it in my head, it just seems like i'd be yelling.
and i'm not - just ~~talking~~ ranting clearly.

-------AHHH SUBJECT CHANGE!!!11!!!!1one-------

i feel like ranting until that little tick that keeps repeating "artartPHOTO-TOGRAPHYart-t-t-artphoto" like a skipping CD stops. me being inspired without being able to apply said inspiration causes sometihng similar to insanity in my head. i wish it didn't have to happen today, this week. not a good week. no, not a good week at all. too many moodyemotions rising and falling and popping in and out.

i want new clothes. i should've gone to the thrift store with them.

i'm not doing a very good job of holding onto friends lately.

i want to go on a walk. but not alone.

i want to drive away, alone.

teenage angst is starting to annoy me.

i need to loosen up.
goodbye.

oh, it also bothers me that i have these ideas for a sketchbook page, but my hand can't do it. can't.

(no subject)

October 23rd, 2007 (08:33 pm)

~~i can't believe that, i just cannot believe people could be that immature and rude.~~ scratch that. sadly, i can. "abortion rocks! kill all the babies!!"? NO. i respect your opinion. i respect that our beliefs differ. i respect that you're pro-choice. but that is just ridiculous. mind you, it wasn't me that was being mocked for having tape on my mouth and supporting my beliefs; it was devon, ashley and whoever else. they said they were being made fun off for wearing tape. they heard things like "fuck, you are so stupid." and the ever so simple "WHAT THE FUCK??!?!?" that makes me so, unbelievably angry.

that moment that i saw them in the hallway, devon, ashley, kelly and lindsey...it seemed so solemn. now i know why. i'm so sorry you guys had to deal with such ignorant, immature people today. but i'm so proud of you for actually dealing with it and not talking; you did better than me, by far.

(no subject)

July 2nd, 2007 (10:29 pm)

myspace was phished and i can't fix it right now.

lashelle, call me. please.