JoChana's Journal (original) (raw)
Tuesday, December 5th, 2006
4:08 am
the divergence dare i opt for the road to pre-staged 'blessings'?
i have finally come to the split in the path. i ride my timely horse with no control of his speed or style. he responds only to a tilt of my head. to the right or the left. to the right or the left. he must trot i must tilt and coordinate his hoof with my nod so he's not thrown off his balance. i see a crossroad connecting both the path and the divergence but my gut groans "one way" and i cant see where the arrow points. to the right or the left.
i wandered from the single road at the smell of a vineyard. i swallowed its odor along with its supple fruit, but not enough to quench my increasing thirst. i toddled back to the path from which i strayed and found a second had spring from its root. and then my timely horse swept me from the ground. and now a single tilt determines which road i will take. the decision is rash. the horse moves too quickly, out of my control. a bob of my head is all i have to determine my direction. to the right or the left?
3:19 am
oh to live the double life. is it possible?
Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006
11:39 pm
parents are annoying Is Hans Christian Anderson ever riske?
heh.
long overdue dose of ALNM.
(Chil, that went out to you, who I miss devastatingly.)
Why do I feel the need to impress/please everyone?
Shana tova!
Sunday, August 20th, 2006
10:08 am
Tuesday, June 27th, 2006
8:09 pm
Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006
8:56 pm
feel free to comment if you understand phoenetic ubbie dubbie MubbaI bubboss ubbIz drubbaIvubbIng mubbi ubbup ubba wubball! UbbaI dubboo wubbun thubbIng rubbong ubband shubbi hubbates ubbon mubbi lubbaIk ubbaI ubbam brubbIngubbIng thubbu ubbend ubbuv thubbu jubbuwubbIsh nubbashubbun. ubboyubboyubboy!
UbbaI lubbaIk thubbIs.
Monday, May 1st, 2006
3:34 pm
I am deeply distraught. Everything Is Illuminated ended terribly. If Foer's writing at all reflects his outlook on life, his overwhelming philosophies must be grossly pessimisitc. Why did he have to cast such a horrible shaddow on the future--a shaddow over the emptiness that he so vividly described, leaving little hope for lasting happiness to spring up in a new, warm light.
Foer merely illuminates fragments...his title is misleading.
I should not be so drastically affected by books. Especially not depressing ones.
I think I'd be less disappointed if so many philosophies in the book were not as true and beautifully depicted as they are.
Ugh.
Sob.
I should study my music.
Current Mood: 
morose
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
4:51 pm
I want the work to end! I'm so stressed out!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
1:03 pm
Going to ISRAEL for FREE in June!!! This will be the third time in 2 years that I'll be there on a subsodized trip! I'm so excited! I've not been there in the summer since I was 2 years old...should be hot!! :-D wheeeeeee!
Current Mood: 
excited
Tuesday, April 4th, 2006
8:54 am
Monday, April 3rd, 2006
9:08 pm
West Wind 2, Mary Oliver You are young. So you know everything. You leap into the boat and begin rowing. But listen to me. Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without any doubt, I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me. Lift the oars from the water, let your arms rest, and your heart, and heart's little intelligence, and listen to me. There is life without love. It is not worth a bent penny, or a scuffed shoe. It is not worth the body of a dead dog nine days unburied. When you hear, a mile away and still out of sight, the churn of the water as it begins to swirl and roil, fretting around the sharp rocks-when you hear that unmistakable pounding-when you feel the mist on your mouth and sense ahead the embattlement, the long falls plunging and steaming-then row, row for your life toward it.
Current Mood: malnourished
Saturday, April 1st, 2006
9:05 pm
lama? I finally got an e-mail from my friend studying at Yeshiva in Israel, which was comforting, for it proved that he's still in one piece.
I often wonder why I feel such a strong attachment to Israel. It's a bond that has the potential to make my life very complicated...primarily because I want to move there. On a most basic level, complications include the facts that my family is here (in the US), that it's easier to find work here, and that it is safer to live here. Another issue relates to the fact that Israel, despite its connection with the west and despite its status as a first world country, is really in an orb of its own. So much happens within Israel politically and religiously that if one becomes absorbed in those issues, it is hard to consider what is happening in the rest of the world...I personally do not like the idea of abandoning (intentionally or inadvertently) more universal issues and projects.
I have more to say on the subject, but anything else I'd write now would be incoherent. If you have any thoughts on the issues I've addressed, or would like to contribute an idea pertaining to something that I've not yet covered, please feel invited to do so.
On another note, I really wish that my Yeshiva friend were not becoming so religious. I dig him and his philosophies too much...I wish our lifestyles were more compatible, as our ideas and passions are.
Oh yeah, and I'm helping to tidy up the Charles River tomorrow (well, later today...it's nearly 2am--yes, it's now Day Light Savings Time) with Hillel and the Charles River Conservency. Should be fun!
I need to start working out again. Flubber.
Ha. This is beginning to seem like a Deb post. Yay Deb.
Goodnight/morning all.
Oh, and remind me to tell you about Anita's piece about lilies.
Thursday, March 16th, 2006
2:10 pm
migraine I got rejected from Guy Mendilow's band
and I cut my hair really short with paper sizzors
but not in that order
and my head hurts and i feel tired and weightless and used up and oddly like a crumpled piece of crepe paper
i feel more empty than blue or even disappointed
i'd like a damp towel to freshen my face
and a wispy breeze to stroke back my hair
and a pillow to cushion my head
Sunday, January 29th, 2006
7:39 pm
There's no business like show business! I got into Flowers for Algernon--such a cool play! I'm playing Norma, Charlie's sister, when she is grown up. It's a minor role, but I'm thrilled.
My first college play! :-D Hooray!
Current Mood: ecstatic
Thursday, January 5th, 2006
8:49 am
Wednesday, December 21st, 2005
6:04 pm
Euphoric I am soooooo happy.
Russians are really neat. sigh. Especially Jane...she's the neatest Russian of all. Even neater than a boy I'm meeting for ice cream on Ben Yehudah street in Jerusalem! WOA! I'm not sure if it's a date, but by golly I hope it is.
:D
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmakshdajshdkhaskdhakjsh!
1 1/2 days till NYC
4 days till Israel (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
4 days till boy Russian! (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
2 weeks till Jane! :D :D :D :D :D
AHH! My skin is tired from holding my excitement and me together!
This extreme ecstasy is nauseating.
Current Mood: exuberant
Sunday, December 18th, 2005
12:04 am
I really want a romantic relationship.
Maybe Israel will bring such a thing?
Saturday, December 10th, 2005
11:25 pm
It feels so weird to see my gawky best friend from age 5-13 now looking so sophistocated on facebook. We didn't even have much in common back then, but we clung to one another like static hair sticks to balloons--inseparable strands--little fragments of people, bouncing around her backyard from swing to hammock to pool, picking cherries from her birthday tree after each round.
2:15 pm
Come to my Jewish Composers Concert! It's on Wednesday, December 14, 6pm, @ Boston University's College of Fine Arts. Tickets are 5+forstudents,5 + for students, 5+forstudents,15 + for adults. It's only an hour lone, and is packed with really good, diverse music ranging from Musical Theatre (West Side Story) to poetry by Petrarca set to contemporary classical music.
Please let me know in advance if you'd like me to reserve a ticket for you.
Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
12:52 pm